Pimped out Geek Style

Cool things about these--there are tons of them...so Chewy (see above) can put his version of our family on his "new" car!

Looking forward to Total Confusion and acquiring other geek type accessories!

Meet Clive

We finally did it.  After many years of no car payments...we finally had to get a new(ish) car.  We were both a little weary of having to get into paying for a car again, but we had gotten all the use we could out of Chewy's car. 

Chewy's car deserves a paragraph all its own.  We have been a two car family for quite some time.  I get the newer car, Chewy gets the older car.  The reason behind that will become clear.  First of all, I am usually the designated driver on family outings, etc.  So I drive the family car (hence newer).  Second, and Chewy will readily admit this...he is a slob.  And he cares even less about cars than I do.  We consider them means to an end, a way to get to our jobs, etc.  He really doesn't care what it looks like or what happens to the interior.  As long as it drives and he gets all the use he can out of the car (because, in the end, buying a car is an awful waste of money, no matter how you slice it).  And I mean he gets out ALL the use.  When we handed in the car to the dealership (which took it at a specific price, sight unseen--their idea, our relief) three out of four car handles were busted off, body damage was all over the place (I mean, the windshield wiper fluid tub was exposed!), it failed inspection last time, the driver's side seat was broken and was being held up by an old (1980s) computer, its check engine light had just turned on, etc.--did I mention that this was Chewy's car?!  So that also meant that the interior had wrappers and cola cans and when he "cleaned" it out it took 2 trash bags and a storage bin (he collects old computers and wires and was storing them in his trunk).  Yeah...we were lucky the dealership took it for any value. 

So, okay...now my old car, the RAV, will be my husband's car (it is now shaking in its tires....)

Without further ado, here is our new family car:

Meet Clive the CRV*:

Picked him up last night.

*Yes, we name our cars...go ahead, say what our fourteen year old said as he looked at us in that disgusted grimace that only teenagers do well: "Whatever." 

We have had Nate the Neon (long ago leased vehicle); Cal (short for Caligula) the Camry; and Robbie the RAV4.  (Cal has left the building...poor guy)

More Photos from the Party...

Some blurry photos from my cellphone (I NEED to get a new battery for my new camera--ugh!)

Ana putting the final touches on the cake.

Willow all dressed up and after having a piece of cake...a green mustache!

Kirsten and Uncle William...she decided on the green frosting beard!

Kirsten getting a Cthulhu cake tentacle...in the background you can see remenents of fondu.

Lorelei having a tentacle.

 

 

Michael's Birthday Party

We had Michael's birthday party today.  Our friend Ana did her magic again with the cake.  I doubled the recipe on the chocolate fondu--which was a hit, but now I have WAAAY too much of it.  We had a veggie tray and Michael's favorite pizza.  Low key...so kinda adult-like.  (Gotta get used to the fact that he is no longer the Kiddie Birthday kid....luckily, I got Willow--who is already saying "when's my birthday?")

Willow and her cousins had a lot of fun and sugar.  And Michael had a really nice time, got some Cthulhu items/figures and some money and a GameStop gift card...all wins for him!

Cthulhu cake!  Ana did an awesome job!

Willow getting into the act while we were taking pictures.  Michael brought down his stuffed Cthulhu which he has had for YEARS...Ana made sure to make the cake based on that.

The tentacles are stella doro cookies.

Trying to get him to just smile naturally is hard lately...

Opening presents while his twin cousins want to help open presents....

Blowing out the candle.  

Ana wanted a picture with Michael and her.

Cthulhu meet Cthulhu.

Looking at these pictures, I realize how much my kids need haircuts!!  Why do they grow so fast?!  Even their HAIR!

Random Fact Friday

I am thinking about picking up Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream after work today. Why? Because I know that my son likes that type of ice cream and I thought it would be nice to have for his Birthday get together tomorrow.

Also thinking about going even further and making chocolate fondue with fruit for the get together.

Fact: My son turns 14 in less than a week.  A fact I am still trying to wrap my mind around.

Quotes from an almost Five Year Old...

Trying to find her coat last evening at Pre-K:

"Oh yeah, my coat is in 3C!  Because today I had a Separation Day from Kayla.  Just for today. Because I wasn't listening."  (Kayla is like her BEST friend)

Writing out her Valentines Day Cards:

"Oh Frankie.  Yeah, he doesn't pick up when we are supposed to at clean up time.  He is loud.  He doesn't listen."  (I guess listening is a big thing at school..)

On her newest artwork creation brought from school:

"This is supposed to be about the New Year [they celebrated Chinese New Year this week].  See...that baby dragon...he has a diaper!" (Breaks out into sustained giggles)

On any general day:

"How does ______ work?"  "Why does ________ do that?"  "Poop!!" (Breaks out into sustained giggles)

And sometimes at the most random times:

"Mommy?  I love you!" 
"I love my whole family!" 
"Hi! [stranger she just met] My name is Willow.  I have two cats named Gabby and Kif!" 

Cellphone Pictures - Willow

Random pictures of Willow:

Having a blue icee at the zoo for Halloween festivities.

Dressed up for her school winter song fest.

 

Playing around in our bed.

Stocking stuffer playdoh!

Dim Sum!

Going out in the snowstorm yesterday.

Waiting in a Restaurant - December 2012

Moving On

The Muppets usually say it about right.

It seems a few weeks ago we were trying to enjoy the holidays despite hospital stays, sickness and unemployment.  We welcomed the New Year with trepidation only to get slapped in the face with death.

But time keeps moving along even though we want to linger. 

I cannot believe it is February already.  We have booked our reservations for Total Confusion, I have started thinking about what the heck to get for a birthday gift for my soon to be 14 year old...low key birthday for him this year I think, just family and friends.  But maybe I might throw in Laser Tag and on his actual birthday going to HUGE video arcade, just me and him.

Lily is still trying to move on. She is reluctant to eat and she and the other cats have a strange truce where they do not hang out where she is, and she doesn't hang out with them.  Kif and Gabby are so social and so companion-like, I am not used to a stand-offish cat.  (Which, I know, is more typical cat behavior--we are lucky with Kif and Gabby).  There was a moment this weekend where I sat down with Lily and just brushed and brushed her hair.  She purred like crazy.  Also, one night last week she slept in Michael's bed with him.  However, last night, I heard her yowl a few times.  It will take some time. 

Moving on also can be because of good news--Chewy has accepted a job offer!  He will be starting a new job next week!  This week will be the scramble of errands and getting ready for the challenges a new job creates.  He is excited about the position, but the overwhelming feeling we had this weekend (he accepted the job on Friday) was one of relief.  He is so tired of interviewing.  We are so tired of not being in our "normal" schedules. 

We watched Groundhog Day this weekend (one our favorites).  I cannot help but feel that we are like Bill Murray at the end of the movie..the relief he feels that the new day has finally come.  That he can move on.  That we can move on.

And Hello...

This is Lily (or is it Lilly or Lilli?):

She likes playing with plastic bags.

She is the fat cat of the family.

She is starting to get used to our family.  

We picked her up on Sunday morning.  Most of that day she stayed in Michael's room, just sleeping.  She is slowly coming out of her shell, although I haven't seen her interact with Kif or Gabby that much yet...mainly some hisses (by her) and some trepidation (by them).  But.  She has started to eat and use the litter box.  (Much better than our closet!)  And aside from peeing on some of our clean clothes earlier this week, she seems to be doing pretty good.

She loves to be brushed a lot, which calms her down.

Good Byes

We took the day off to say good bye to Paul today.

It was a typical wake/funeral.  Happy to see old friends at an awful time, awkwardness at relatives (some who had not seen him in many years), talk of how/why it happened, and people going up to the closed coffin to say good bye.

I came up during this time and stood next to the coffin and said what I wanted to, then spent the time meeting people and going to the corner comfortable chairs with Willow to answer her questions about life and death. She was really well behaved and when Paul's sister told us that she had seen pictures of Willow at his house (that she will return to us), it made our decision to bring her feel more right.

As it was getting time to go to the grave site, the funeral director asked people to please come up (if they wanted to) to say good bye one last time before it was put into the hearse.

I asked Willow if she wanted to say good bye.  And she did.  So, she and I went up together.  I had avoided the kneeling podium before, mainly because I feel that is for the religious amongst us.  But she went up and knelt.  I knew she wanted to do what she had seen other people had been doing.  So, I knelt next to her and showed her how to put her hands together in prayer.  Then I told her that we could say good bye.  She repeated what I said in farewell.  Then she added: "Paul, I know your body doesn't work anymore, but I hope I will see you soon again."

The ride to the grave site was a disaster (see, typical wake/funeral--something has to go wrong!), with the funeral line getting cut off by a school bus...we missed the small service at the gravesite.  Luckily, it was not as important as saying good bye at the funeral home.  And later, we had the uncomfortable luncheon out with family/friends who have nothing common except the person that is missing.

Tomorrow...we say Hello.  To Lilly.  One of Paul's cats will be joining our family.

Stunned

Throughout my day today, there were times when I could not believe that he wasn't here in the world.  It just is so typical of death...you know, to point out how quickly one could be...and then not be.

I think this is the first death of a friend close to my age for me.  Well, at least close to my middle age to me.

Death is never fun at any age, but I guess when I was younger, when a friend died...it was tragic and almost sensational.  I was young and young people feel so immortal.  It is a rarity. I want to say it was easier to move on, but I don't know if that is what I mean...maybe I just think it was easier to move on because I am so far removed from those deaths now.

Our friend was not that much older than us.  And being in the middle of life...well, it definitely makes the "coulda been me"s more easier to see.  I guess that is part of it.  Although I think most of it is...he was here.and now he is gone.

It was too quick.  Too sudden.  And I think we are in shock still.  He is really.gone.

Tonight, we had a couple of friends over and we gave a toast to him.  With our kids there, because he was a part of their lives too.  (Willow was so Anya like...and also liked to keep doing toasts....)

We talked about his passing, what little we know...we discussed what will happen to his cats and his radio controlled planes...but mainly, mainly we were silent.  It was too soon to discuss memories of him, because he should be here.

Like he has been many other times.

Explaining Death to my daughter...

It has happened.  Someone close to us has died and I had to explain death to my 4 1/2 year old.

My grandmother died a couple years ago, but to be honest, she lived 800 miles away and I hadn't seen her in years.  I felt sad when she died, but she was old, she was tired and sick.  I had spoken to her a few times before she died...I had closure.  And Willow did not need to really know much more about it.  I mentioned the passing in an abstraction and she went back to playing.

Today, we found out a good friend, a friend who came by our house often enough and spent time with Willow often enough...well, he died suddenly last week, and we just found out.

And I had to explain death to her.  Finally.  I could not put it off.  Not being religious, I have to be careful not to couch things in too stark of terms...life cycles seem to work well.  All I know is that she said "I want _____ back."  Me too, hon.  Me too.

Trying to get back to "normal" with obstacles...

Since Thanksgiving, things have not really been back to the "normal" routines in this household.  We keep trying to, but then something else causes change.  My gallbladder issues took three weeks out of our normalcy.  While I was in the hospital, btw, my husband got laid off from his job.  Oh, and then three of us were sick during Christmas (Willow was lucky not to get sick, although we suspect she/daycare was the reason we got the nurovirus).

I did not get the week of Christmas vacation off because I have a new job which is highly stressful. Combined with recovering and sickness--made the holidays go by quickly and strangely.  New Years was healthy, but felt "off" too.

All this stress and change means that we are not eating as healthy or as many home cooked meals as we should.  It is kinda hard to feel motivated to cook when you are tired and stressed, and it is easier to get take out or go to a restaurant.  I think we also tend to eat out more during the winter, too.

And just as I am starting to get back to using the slow cooker and meal planning--then I have a week like this past one.  Due to unforeseen circumstances at work,  I was the only one there besides the boss, so I was doing three people's job.  Which meant I was under even more stress and definitely was not able most nights to leave on time or come home and make a healthy meal...so Chinese, pizza and burgers were had during the week...yeah, not so healthy.  (Luckily, Chewy was able to pick up Willow from childcare each night so that she was not stuck at school later).

My exercise was halted during my gallbladder surgery and recovery.  I have gotten back to most of my routine, but oftentimes other things interrupt my workout and I end up not doing as much as I usually do.  Surprisingly, I think this is one routine I can get back into easily--I just have to get myself up earlier (hmm...maybe that will be hard...)

Next week starts a new change in our "normal".  Trying to save money, Willow will go to school only 3 days a week instead of 5.  Daddy will be taking care of her on Mondays and Fridays.  This will be a rough transition for him more than her.  Scheduling time might help him so that he can juggle spending meaningful time with her and still finding time for job hunting.

I suspect there will be no real "normal" until he gets a new job, but until then, I think we will keep trying to get our routines back to some semblance of order.

The Kids - Updated

Willow keeps on amazing me with things she does and ways she looks at the world. Not only is it a 4/5 year old perspective, but it is a girl perspective, an individual perspective different than the comfortable perspectives of the others around me (because she is young and “new” to the world).


She has lately had trouble sleeping, occasionally having those nights where she sneaks into our bed in the middle of the night. The other night she had a bout of this and I overheard her say to Chewy: “Daddy, can you make the bad dreams come out of my head so I can sleep?” This morning I found her sleeping sideways in the rocking chair in her room (I have no idea how and why, but there she was, sound asleep).

Willow has also been enjoying school and it has been interesting to see her social network expand. She has a best friend named Kayla. Most days she is happy to go to school and play with her friends, reluctant to leave in the evening pick up.

She has a dance class at school, where she is learning to tap dance (she even got me to buy her tap shoes). We ask her what dances they learned this week, and she goes through the whole routine…it is damned cute. The last couple of weeks she has gone on and on about some cooking class at school. We did not know what she was talking about….seems we had not gotten the notice. Of course, now she is enrolled in the cooking class. Willow’s first “dish” she cooked was a very very very cheesy macaroni that she made sure we had with dinner. I do not generally like Mac N Cheese, and I had some, although it was kinda glue like in its consistency. (Michael needs more help in hiding his expressions of disgust when eating).

The other day we were out to lunch and she started asking out of the blue about how dinosaurs got extinct. We had a big discussion on the meteorite and how they died. We are having more conversations like this, where she asks questions that are more complicated and searching. Soon she will be five. FIVE. [sigh]

Michael is definitely a teenager now. He sulks in a corner or skulks out of the room before you notice. He can be rude and testy. Oftentimes he is reading Cracked (on Dad’s tablet) or Mad magazine. Or playing video games (mostly on the computer, usually obscure or old ones). Even when we want him to stay up (for a movie or a board game) he gets tired and goes to bed (only to wake up way too early for us). Lately, I have noticed him sleeping on car rides, something he usually doesn’t do. That is teenage growth spurts for ya.

I think he is enjoying the little bit of independence caused by walking home from school and often being on his own for a couple (few) hours between when he gets home from school and when I get home from work. Maybe too much. His grades suffered a bit last term. He is working on his time management skills. For example: “When is this project due? THIS Friday (two days from now)? So you need poster board, etc.? When did you know about this project? LAST Friday??”

Sometimes his is so mature; other times he is immature and inappropriate. I cannot always tell if it is his ADHD/Aspergers or his age. When he is not exasperating, he is wonderful and a great big brother and son. What to do for his FOURTEENTH birthday—have no idea.

UPDATE:

When I went to pick up Willow tonight, they had these two pictures of Willow from the cooking class.

Christmas Photos

Despite the sickness in the house, I was still able to get a few photos for this holiday season.

 At Zoo Lights on Christmas Eve Eve

I don't know where the reindeer are!

Christmas Eve - Present Exchange

Since Michael was feeling sick, Willow took over the job of family Santa.

A Giant Princess Coloring book.

Christmas PJs - Tinkerbell!

All things Star Wars must include a Darth Vader Mug with Hot Cocoa!

Christmas Day

Everything waiting...

Some of Willow's gifts from Santa.

Some of Michael's gifts from Santa.

First thing she went for was the BIKE.

And then the castle...which was being invaded by the trucks.

Michael assembling a game.

Santa's reply to Willow's note she left with the cookies and milk.

Horse "riding".

Michael playing Willow's new Wii game (which uses a baby doll). Thanks, Ana!

Michael reading a holiday book to Willow.

Lego Dracula's Castle...HUGE.