Friday, October 23, 2015

Reconcile

Looking at his yearbook, the one he just got, the one for last year.  The one that is not like a "typical" yearbook.  Entries that include students who barely speak, whose entries state so-and-so has "made progress this year in socialization".  Teachers and therapists and counselors.

I try to reconcile my child with this.  He is not like " them".  But he is not "typical" either.  He is quirky and different, but not so obvious...but yet he can be.  He is not defined by his Aspergers.  Yet, in the last few years, he has been.

It has taken me a long time to even consider myself a "special needs mom".  I cannot see myself as one most of the time, just like it is hard for me to reconcile my son to being a part of this private school community.  A community that he needs, that he is doing so much better with.  That is there for his needs....but...I sometimes look at things like the yearbook...and see the mirror image...the distant image of " typical" and "normal".  I sometimes long for it.

And then...I look at how much this change..this school and its special accommodations have helped him so much in the last year.  How much he was suffering at the " normal" school.  And I stop myself from longing for something that was only an illusion anyway.

We are all on our own paths in life.  My son's path may be harder than most, but is it also being forged well and with care.  It was not the path any of us chose, but it is the path we are on...so we damned well should make it the best way we can.

Monday, October 12, 2015

#MicroBlogMonday: Doing The Time Warp Again...

#MicroblogMonday, anyone?  Click here.

This weekend has been back and forth in time...

A few weekends ago, we cleaned out my mom's apartment.  Amongst her stuff, were two videos we had made for her of Michael. Saturday, I popped one into the only videotape machine in the house...and was reintroduced to my four year old son.  My pre-labeled, pre-tested, pre-teenager son.  My gosh, how damned cute, so different, yet, the same, yet innocent.  Michael watched some of it...and marveled over toys he remembered. It was awesome.  I will have to convert these digitally.

Later, on Sunday...Willow and I had a discussion I was hoping to avoid one more year.  But, it seems that she has reached another milestone... Santa has been revealed.  Now, I have no children to enchant this year.  I was sad at the time, but actually, feel a bit fine with it and hope to make her holidays still fun for her.  (I told her not to tell other kids...and she revealed that she had entreated all children about her previous discovery about the Tooth Fairy, but promised not to do so about Santa...with a why? Question before agreeing...).

The end of Sunday found us listening to the Time Warp as we drove two hours to visit a small, but special little horror movie musuem in Connecticut.  A place Michael discovered, and it was awesome!

Now, I am typing this on my phone in a motel room...tomorrow dawning...a Museum we have visited a few times before in our future.  I think the first time we visited it was when Michael was...four years old.

Ripple Effects 2

"Do you ever feel dead inside?"  -- this is what she said to a teacher in the hallway.  Promptly got a call from a counselor.  For...