Monday, March 30, 2015

Microblog Monday - Glimpse of Life

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Sometimes I don't have time to write it down, sometimes it is too delicate to write about.  Sometimes I realize that my blog sits here and some of the more tough and touching moments are lost.

Here is a glimpse of life from yesterday in bullets:

  • We went to a high school musical. It was not my son's high school.  (It will never be my son's high school)  We enjoyed the Music Man, I had that feeling of nostalgia and bittersweet.  I also was callus in my appraisal of the singers and sets, more than I thought I would be.  (Is this because I have gotten so old, or is it because I have been spoiled by so many professional theater productions?)  We had fun, but I felt a bitter taste in my mouth, as I remembered the productions in my high school (much better--is that reality or memory?)  and the remembrances of times past (going to my first high school musical with my Grammie--Carousel)

  • Everyone goes off on their own when we get home.  The teenager upstairs in  his room.  The nearly seven year old plays with her toys.  I listen to the house (still lost in thoughts of the past and present)

  • We have people over.  Technical issues with Skype/Google.  (we still try to cling to our Michigan connections...our friends we wish were closer)

  • The Teenager has an issue with his computer notebook.  He gets frustrated.  He gets belligerent.  He cannot cope with his frustrations.  He is a teenager.  He has aspergers.  It proves to be an explosive combination tonight.  (Will he ever be able to deal with these frustrations appropriately? What can I do?  Why can't he be normal? The guilt over that last question haunts me.)  The explosion spills over to our company--we decide to reschedule our game.  (Things will be better--he will learn how to cope--I need to feel this and know that this is true--and I know logically it will be.  It will be.)

  • Meanwhile, the seven year old has been obliviously watching The Book of Life.  She comes up to me and says that she will always remember me in her heart...even after I die.  (Really?  More mortality and bittersweet for the end of the day?) (So cute and profound...and so fleeting is my six, almost seven year old)

  • Bedtime and all are asleep.  Except the anxious teenager, not upset anymore, just anxiety-ridden, restless.  He lays in our bed, I lay next to him and hug him.  


Saturday, March 07, 2015

New Look...same circumstances

Went to the salon today to get a new look:

Me before.

Me after...yes, Willow HAD to get in the photo.  (She did not like the new hair color at first)

And...Willow took the phone...Hi Willow!

As usual, in our family, it seems that normalacy is extremely hard to maintain.  We are back on rollercoaster rides and I am getting very tired of them.  Why we cannot seem to get a break on certain things I am unsure.  I am happy that we have found a good school for Michael.  I am happy that Willow is reading anything and everything she encounters.  I just wish that we could get the rest of our life to stabilize.


Sunday, March 01, 2015

How Can He Be Sixteen!?!

Given the last couple of years, it has been nice to see Michael start to be happy again.  The transition to a new school, meeting some new people and friends, he is finding new hobbies and interests  and obsessions.  He still is having issues dealing with his frustrations and how to relate to people (the very definition of a teen with High Functioning Aspergers), but as he has grown from fifteen to sixteen, there is maturity starting to show through again.

Besides the physical changes--he is taller than me, he is starting to sprout a very light hair growth on his upper lip...the maturity into a young man is most startling to me.

Sometimes I can see my son...sometimes I feel like I am seeing the future unfold before me. Sometimes I wonder what the future will hold for him.  He wants to go to college.  Academically, that is not an issue--socially...he needs to learn how to learn new skills that will help him cope.  This is the main reason for the new school.

Michael turned sixteen last Saturday.  Today we had his birthday party.  Here is to SIXTEEN!

Functional decoration

Detail of Michael's cake

Table cloth detail.

Ready for the party!

Michael's cake!

Birthday boy!

After the party...


Yummy cake, called lil' Monkey (banana cake with filing)

Roll Out

Well, after over nine months of unemployment, I have accepted an offer for a position at a mid-sized law firm.  So, the "strange normal...