Summer Ending with a Bang!

Willow has finally started to settle into camp.  Yesterday, their field trip was to Canobie Lake Park…and the Adventure!Willow I know and love came out.  She explained all the rides she went on, how she went in a helicopter ride, went on one of the water roller coasters and got totally drenched.  She was beaming and excited, she was so blissfully, utterly a child.  I wish I had been able to see her doing this (but isn’t that the bummer part of being a parent, you often don’t get to see how your children shine with other people/groups).  Next week is her last week of camp—they are going to the Museum of Science for their last field trip…sort of a precursor to school, I suppose. 

Michael has LOVED video game creation camp.  He has been working on his own game, which is his homage to Universal Monsters—he has a Frankenstein’s monster, Dracula, wolves, etc.  From what I have seen, very clever  traps too.  He has mentioned more than once that he definitely wants to come back to this camp next year (we only did this one for a week to try it out).  To see him happy and smiling this summer has been such a wonderful thing. 

Tom is here!  With gifts and games, he already has put Willow to bed and started getting indoctrinated into the My Little Ponies fan base…and we are looking forward to a weekend of Dim Sum, Museum of Fine Arts and Blue Man Group!


Pictures from last weekends trip to Cape Cod:

Picture by Willow

Wellfleet Sanctuary

Fiddler crabs!

Looking for life

Fiddler crab on the hand!

Mini Golf at Red Barn!

Provincetown eating.

Having breakfast before going home.

Time Flux and Weary

We had a fun three day weekend on Cape Cod and enjoyed ourselves restfully.

Tom will be visiting for a little over a week, starting this Thursday, so we feel the summer lingering…and yet…

Fall is creeping in.  Bought Willow a backpack while on the Cape.  We drove past her school on the way out for dinner last night, to see if they had posted what class she would be in (they had not).   When we got back from dinner…I looked at her supply list and sorted out the stuff we have already with the things we need to buy.  Bought Michael another backpack online, along with most of the other stuff we needed.

The news is making me weary.  There is this, and this, and this.  I cannot shake these out of my head at times.

Yet last night at dinner, I was watching my son while he talked with his father.  Watching his hand on the table while he leaned on his elbow…that brought tears to my eyes.  He is beautiful and wonderful and I helped create that. 

Time is in flux and I find that I am being moved along with it and sometimes I am happy for just the chance to watch it unfold.

Perfect Moments

She lays next to me.  We snuggle and say nothing for a long time.  She has been anxious lately, discovering how life works, how death happens and how time moves on.  She tells me that she will never grow up.  I smile with wet eyes as I tell her how much I don't want her to never grow up....that the whole point of having children is to watch them grow, the adventure and all.  I am a convincing liar, just this once, as in my heart I wish she could stay this way forever.

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He is smiling.  Actually smiling.  He has perfected the sullen teenager act so much lately that I am surprised by his light mood.  We talk and I discover my son over and over again, how much he has grown, how much he is still my little boy.

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He seriously asks me to come downstairs.  Last night we discussed how anxiety-ridden the last few weeks have been, how melancholy has crept in, how the stupid car needs to be repaired before he gets yet another ticket from a very bored and very persistent town police.  So, I assume the worst this morning.  And he surprises me.  He has spent the early morning making personal "business" cards for our Aspy son so that on his last day of camp he can try to keep the tentative friendships going.  He even put his camp nickname and his internet board icon on the paper cards.

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Every morning.  One of them jumps on top of me, purring and purring.  Not a bad way to wake up.

Cell Phone Picture Summer...

Someone told me today that August is the "Sunday of summer".  I guess August 1st is like the Sunday morning of summer.  It is still summer here, still plenty more fun things to do, camp is still in full swing...but yes, Back to School Sales are starting...and the hints of summer soon coming to an end.

I just can't believe July is over.  It went by so quickly!

Michael has been enjoying his LARP camp, however it is obvious that he is getting too old to just be a camper anymore....we may explore him being a "monster camper" (i.e. teen counselor/NPC) next year.  He has one more week of LARP camp (if you click the link, there is an article about the camp, Michael (barely) is in one of the pictures (I can see the tip of his head and his eyes!).   Later he will have video game creation camp (a new adventure that I hope he enjoys and he behaves well for).

Willow seems to have anxiety and separation anxiety issues dealing with summer camp.  I think the camp may just be too big for her...it is definitely a bit more chaotic than she is used to.  Her behavior in camp has been a bit more troublesome than usual for her and then she ended up being out a few days, so I hope that she finally settles into a routine at camp this last month.

Speaking of being out of camp...this week, Willow pulled her right leg muscle/groin muscle.  She was in a pretty good deal of pain, and for three days she could barely walk.  Luckily, she seems to be pretty well healed...and went back to camp in time for the field trip (which was fortunately to a movie theater!)

We are keeping the wind down of summer at bay with trips to the beach and birthday parties, hopes for our friend Tom to visit and some other fun summer time activities!

And now, for some random cell phone pictures!

With her neighbor/best friend Jessica.  Almost got earrings...she has been asking and asking for them, and then got to scared too get them.  Instead they got best friend lockets.

Dad and Willow...Johnny Rockets hats.

Chuck E. Cheese is responsible for the many many hair extensions in the house.

This Tuesday's adventure to the hospital to check out if there was a fracture in the hip, or "just" a groin pull/muscle pull.

Getting an X-Ray...no fractures!

First Reads

Once again I am amazed at the wonders of a child growing up.  It is so astounding to watch the world open up to her, as she stumbles, reorders, fumbles and then figures out the words.  As she reads The Very Hungry Caterpillar to me.  It reminds me of the time so long ago, when he was reading Go Dog Go!  and Skeleton Hiccups to me.

Spending that time reading, listening to her.  Having him read to her.  Again I have found reading.

I think sometimes we forget, with all the internet stuff going around....the book, the discovery.

I am looking forward to her reading more books to me.

4th Random

I have thoughts that I would write down, but they are not solid enough...I have worries and happiness, the intermixing have made me a bit dis-jointed this evening...so bullets seem to be the way to remember this three day weekend:

• We were rained out of our normal Canobie Lake Fun, in one of those times when you are all ready to go there, have even put the sun block on in that naive way that "of course" the tropical storm should not affect that far inland way.  And the park was closed.  That, and the all day rain storm that canceled outside activities, kinda left us at a loss this July 4th

• There was Fantasia and annual Twilight Zone marathon...and early birthday cake!  And a board game...and going out for seafood.  So, we had a pretty good July 4th anyways. 

• Michael's report card came on Thursday.  He got all A's and one B+ (math final brought it down).  Very proud of him, and glad Freshman year can be closed in the record books.

• Willow is apprehensive about summer camp--its a new experience she is not quite certain of.  So far, she had a short week before the holiday and it went all right.  (She did get in trouble for kicking a boy...who knows whats going on there...)

• Chewy and I were able to have some adult only time this weekend...were able to see two movies that we really had been thinking about seeing.  Both were very good - American Hustle and Hotel Budapest.  They were the type of good movies, like a good book, that continue to haunt your mind long after you have finished them.

• Chewy had a Birthday!  And cake!  And sushi!  He was spoiled, as well he should have been.

• Today we went to a BBQ at our friend's house.  It went pretty well...some misbehavior aside...

• Willow sprayed people with a hose--got me totally drenched.  Told her it was funny the first time...but not so funny if she did it again.  (It was hard to keep a straight face for that one)

• Michael was a bit thin-skinned and swore at another kid...but in the end it turned out okay (this is one of those times when he needs more social experiences to be able to know how to handle himself better) 

• There were new experiences - like Michael using a kayak for the first time!

• And the kids going out on a floating canoe.

• The long weekend is over, time to go back to the relatively new  normal summer routine.

The Kittens Turn One!

The kittens turn one year old this July 4th.

We have had Delenn and Lennier since December 2013...a little over six months!

 They are cute and their personalities are different enough that you almost don't need to look at their collars to know which one is which.

 Delenn has become less apprehensive and more affectionate. Usually it is Kif and Delenn pouncing onto the bed in the early morning, wanting cuddles and food.

 Lennier is the troublemaker. He scratches things he shouldn't and is adventurous to a fault, finding impossible things possible and I can count several items in the house that he has broken. He is also Michael's favorite, so I cannot really be too mad at "Lenny" (Michael's nickname for him).

 In a fit of indulgence and frivolousness, I let the kids pick out birthday gifts for the kittens. We got a couple cat toys (which will probably not get hardly any use before they actually just lose them under furniture), some cat nip that they played with already and some outfits (the outfits were not something I would have bought at all---but like I said---being a bit indulgent). Lennier actually has taken to the outfit Michael picked out for him. Delenn doesn't seem to have Willow's girlish fashion sense (yet).

Delenn was not unhappy.

Lennier is like, well, the boy put this on me AGAIN...I look fashionable!

Strawberry Picking with Ana

Willow, Michael and I went for strawberry picking with Ana today!

It was pretty hot out there, and Michael ended up just pacing a lot...but he did pick a few strawberries...
I think everyone preferred eating them rather than picking them!

Willow had fun with Ana, at one point trying to steal berries from her box!  It was a fun (if too short) time with Ana...and both kids loved the bunches and bunches of strawberries!

(I am looking forward to some strawberry shortcake very soon!!)

Starting out!

Really getting into it!

We ate a LOT of strawberries!

Michael did a walk around the acreage.

Who's got the biggest, most deformed strawberry?

These are strawberries?

I mean, look at them!

He picked a few!

And more strawberries were eaten!  (I don't know why I just have pictures of Ana eating them!  We all did!)

Hay butt!

Yummy!

1/2

Half way through the year already.  It is so hard to believe that it is June.  That it is Flag Day, that tomorrow is Father's Day.

So far we have had a good half year.  No deaths, no lay offs, no real big issues at school (hey, I have to count my blessings where I see 'em!)  We have had snow storms, sickness and fun at Total Con.  We have had birthday parties and had a wonderful vacation in Washington, D.C.

Soon, summer begins for the kids.

And no more Kindergartner.  A First Grader! Willow's first year of school was pretty exciting for her and mundane for us.  She seems to have issues with learning rote things (like counting by 5's and 10's seemed to stump her a bit).  She is left handed (who knew?).  She is ending the year sounding out signs along the road and reading simple books.  She is ready for the next steps...and I can see another reader in our midst.

Freshman year.  Oh, how we will be happy to see you go.  Such a tough transition for Michael this year. Ending on more a high note, with all "A's" (as long as he passes his finals).  After being tested for the special education accommodations for aspergers, he received an IEP and some help, which, after the incident in October lead to a "shadow" paraprofessional.  Which we thought would only be for a few weeks...which still follows him now and is causing him annoyance.  He started the year with friends, now gone.  Its been a tough year.  The only bright spot has been finding him a therapist who has been actually helpful to him.  And the Special Ed team has been receptive and we are going to work through what next year will bring, especially sans shadow.   I hope his summer can help him relieve the tensions of the school year and find some social interactions...and we can have a fresh start for Sophmore year!

How fast time goes.  Glad to have my family and hope that the rest of the year is good to us all.

Camp, Camp, Camp, Camp, Camp-it-y, Camp, Camp-it-y, Camp!

Ahhh...June...spring is FINALLY here and thoughts of the end of school.  (So weird, because in Michigan where I grew up, I was out of school by the end of May...)

Another thing that is different, of course, from my childhood....the fact that summer camps are often not OPTIONS but necessities because both parents work.

Because camps are at a premium, because my son is 15 years old, because Willow is now going to be a first time summer camper---I have most of that stuff ready and a-okay....until I realized today that school ends on June 24th.  Which means I had a 3 day gap for Willow....so now, I will be filling out one.more.camp.application.form (luckily, it will just be her afterschool option so its not a lot of stuff).

SO...the summer looks kinda something like this:

June 24th School (finally) Ends

July 25 - 27 - Willow stays at the afterschool place for Camp (which will be held at her school--confusion sets in about NOW)

Meanwhile...Michael hangs out at home and veggies, eats us out of house and home, plays video games and watches t.v. until his eyes bug out.  (hey, good summer-as-a-teen fun)

Willow will go to her summer camp after that; Michael will go to his LARP camp after that -- for about four weeks---one of which Willow will be going just to get a taste of LARP outdoors (!)

Then Willow goes back and stays at her summer camp.  Then Michael hangs out at home again.  Then we go for a long weekend to Cape Cod (hi, we betrayed you by going somewhere else in April!)

Then Michael goes to a video game creation summer camp for a week.  (yeah, video games seems to be a theme)

At some point Tom comes to visit.

Summer ends.  [whew!]

No wonder summer goes so fast.  [sigh]

Finally Spring

On Being a Mom

As usual, there are lots of things being posted on Facebook about being a mother, about what type of mother to be, and posts reminding people that there are people hurting out there who would like to be mothers or who are missing their mother, etc.

One that struck a chord with me was this article listing the wonders of a special needs mother from Huffington Post.

It struck me two ways.  The first way would be obvious...my son is a special needs child.  Yes, a lot of the things listed in the article I have done and will continue to do.

However, looking at the list, started giving me mixed emotions.  Because some of the items on the list, like patience and energy and flexibility...well, those are items that every mother needs to deal with all the time.  Just because I have a child who is special needs doesn't mean I am superior or that I have special MOM powers.  It just means that I have to tap into those abilities far more often.

This (almost past) school year has been a trying time as a parent for me.  Michael is dealing with his identity not only as a teenager/young adult/high schooler but as a person who has special needs and issues.

Last week, his English class read a book about autism and Michael asked us to read it too.  In reading it, I realized some things about being his mother.  Some I am very proud of, some I wonder at my naivety regarding his issues.  I am very proud that I have always treated him as a "normal" child.  I have always expected him to do his best and to challenge himself.  I realized that some of that was because for the longest time I just assumed he was just a bit quirky, or "just" had ADHD, the diagnosis of High Functioning Aspergers was actually not  final until he was in middle school after all.  I think Michael and we as his parents are still trying to find our way through his Aspergers and while his transition to high school has been tough, I have seen my son start to emerge and progress to someone who can have a fulfilling life.

This does not mean I don't worry about him constantly.  I think the amount of stress the last year or so has put on both his father and I has been pretty measurable.  But I don't think this makes me an extraordinary mother.

In fact, I worry that I have been not as dutiful in the past year with our daughter as I should have been.  The energy has not been there sometimes and I know there have been times when I have not had it in me to go that extra mile for her.

But that is also part of being a mother.  Knowing when you need to do better.  Knowing when you need to listen more.  Knowing that time is short and they are changing before your eyes.

Part of being a mother is learning and adapting.  Learning from your children...that is something I take to heart.  Because I find them the most loving, intelligent, wacky, annoying, exhausting, wonderful people in my life.

Today was a bit frustrating for me...I was single parent most of the day and the kids were mostly good, but there were some challenges that presented themselves.  (Willow shoes, Michael having constipation and obsessing over it--being in a restaurant and Michael needing to do his pacing, etc.)  All in all, nothing extraordinary...in fact, pretty normal stuff.  Another normal --- Michael taking his sister out to play zombie while I was busy helping grandma; Willow hugging me and telling me how much she loved me, Michael talking about the Eddie Izzard concert to his father, telling him the jokes and showing him how much he enjoyed it).

Despite the stresses of the past year, on the eve of Mother's Day....all I can think of is how wonderful my children are and how thankful I am to be a mother to both of them.

Dinosaur Dig

One of the things I got Willow for her birthday was something I had done with Michael many times when he was her age (and older).  A dinosaur dig kit.  This one has two dinosaur fossils...one T-Rex and one Tri-ceratop.

She was very diligent!  We worked on it today...right now the fossils are soaking in water...we will assemble them in the morning.