Thursday, July 31, 2008

Sigh of Relief

Blog surfing this morning I realized something. I am not worried. Seeing everyone's posts on 2WW worries; on pregnancy or non-pregnancy worries, I realized that even when I was pregnant this last time, almost every day I was worried. I worried whether I would miscarry, I worried about whether she/he would be healthy; I worried about my health; I worried about whether I would get stuck with bedrest again; I worried about the labor/C-Section and recovery; I worried about weight and how my son would deal with a sibling. I just worried. A lot. And I think it was partially because of the many issues we had to deal with concerning infertility and the IVF cycles. Yes, during my first pregnancy I worried. But not like this. I was more aware of the many things that could go wrong. I was aware of the fact that we were EXTREMELY lucky to have gotten pregnant the first time without any medical help. I was aware of my age, of my egg quality, his sperm quality and the factors that had to go into making them be compatible. Fertility treatments make you so aware of your body, especially during the 2 week wait, when every little ache or pinch (or indigestion) can make you wonder--am I pregnant? And it doesn't stop after you get that BFP. Oh no. It keeps happening. And it doesn't stop after 12 weeks, or 18 weeks. I think by my third trimester I was comfortable being pregnant (in time to be physically uncomfortable!). And even then--sometimes, I couldn't believe that FINALLY we were pregnant, that we were finally going to have our daughter.

Now, being on the other side of it all, I realize that today, right now, I am not worried. Yes, there are the normal everyday trivialities..and there always will be. But I have 2 wonderful kids and a wonderful husband. And we are all healthy and happy. And growing and adapting. And now, my worries are about getting back into shape and eating right and enjoying my life with my family.

5 comments:

Shelby said...

Very well said. I'm in exactly the same boat. Isn't it wonderful?

Kate said...

That's a good point!

Cibele said...

we have been set free!

Kelly Hutcheson said...

A lot of my digi scrapping friends swear by Photoshop, but I’ve never tried it before. I use a program called Microsoft Digital Image, but I heard it’s discontinued. I think you can get it on Ebay though. There’s a site that makes it easy at http://howfasttheygrow.com/ but the printing of the pages is kinda expensive. I also use www.picnik.com for editing and there’s a slew of freebies for digital scrapping that I have linked on my blog. I print my pages at www.scrapbooksplease.com because it’s only as low as $.99 a page to print. I heard Costco has good prices too for developing 8x8 or 12x12 pages, but I’m not a member. It’s so much fun and easier for me than the traditional scrapping for me. A lot less money too and not so much “stuff” everywhere. Some people are hybrid scrappers where they mix traditional with digital. There’s something for everyone that’s for sure!!

Love your blog btw and read it daily!!

docgrumbles said...

I am so jealous of your lack of worry!

Much Needed Self Care...

For my Birthday this year, I got a weekend away from everyone at a nice hotel with a spa.  This was the weekend.  And much needed it was! Af...