I am going to Williamsburg, VA to meet up with some Braces Bunch Gals that I have known on-line and through the Postal Service for over three years.
Here is what I posted about this some place else:
“The end of September I am going to be going to Williamsburg, VA. Alone on an airplane, to meet people I have never met. But, I have something in common with them. I am going to meet up with some women, some of whom I have known online for over three years, who are or who have struggled through infertility. We met online through our various blogs and created a group that supported each other through cards and gifts through the regular mail. In the past three years, I have gotten cards, "lucky socks", letters, chocolates when I was down and other gifts. I have sent words of encouragement and little gifts to cheer to various women from various parts of this country. We are going to meet for the first time. And yet...we already know what is in our hearts.
Please remember that many of you are struggling--but you are NOT alone. There are women out there facing the same difficulties. Support them when you can; be supported when you are in need.”
However, I have had a little bit of anxiety about this trip. I am leaving my comfort zone. I am going somewhere I have never been to meet people I have never seen. And I am leaving my family behind for the first time ever. As I have gotten older, I have noticed this tendency I have in wanting to stay “safe” and “comfortable” and the panic attacks that I have when I am trying something new. I think it is partially age, partially some bad experiences, partially because my life in general is pretty damn good.**
But whatever the reasons, I know that those feelings can hold me back. So, last year when I turned 40, I decided I would try not to let those feelings take hold in me. That I would grasp at opportunities that I may have not taken before or have shied away from, either because of fear or more often, lack of time or motivation.. Move outside my comfort zones. Not that I have ever been one not to try something new…I actually have always enjoyed having many different experiences and trying new things (one of my favorite things about living in this region of the country is the myriad of things to do around here).
But I am talking about more subtle things. Like trying to define myself. Not as a wife or mother or employee. But as a human being with needs and wants that may or may not be the same as those titles.
So here I find myself worrying about a plane trip, anxious about leaving my son and daughter for the first time, worrying about the added stress that my husband gladly took on to let me do this trip…and leaving on Thursday to meet some wonderful people.
**Actually, like many people in these times, we are actually pretty highly stressed and anxious, but we are better off than most and we do have each other.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
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