Monday, September 19, 2016

#MicroBlog Monday Good Grief...

To see more participants for #MicroBlog Monday, Click HERE...

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Part of an email I sent to a still grieving friend last week: "....I think this time of year makes things harder too...its the change in seasons, the holidays are coming. And since you do not have a job, you have plenty of time on your hands to think of things and it can make your mind wander too much into grief. Just remember--there is no time limit on grief. Whatever you feel, whenever and however long you feel it--that is fine. Last night, I had some weird nightmares, and I cannot say what they were about per say any more, but I know they had my Grammie and my Grandma in them, and that I woke up with a very heavy sense of loss. Grief and missing those we love and still love does not go away with time. It gets a little easier...but it is never truly gone, just like our love for them is never truly gone. I have been down a little lately, I think the change of seasons from summer affects me more as I get older. Hopefully, I will switch gears soon to enjoy the fall...it usually happens once I see some nice foliage."

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 Sometimes grief is not just about the loss of a person. It is a loss of something less tangible. On Friday, I was taking Willow to a Family Fun night at her school...an evening outside in the field next to the school, free ice cream and popcorn and a movie on a big screen. While she was having fun, I had a huge feeling of loss sweep over me. It only took me a few minutes to realize why...the high school is not that far away...and there was a football game playing...and the marching band was playing.  I just felt the overwhelming loss of what could have been, what is not. My son is not there playing in the band anymore. He doesn't go to the local high school anymore. I will not be experiencing the "typical" high school senior moments this year with my son. My son's senior high school experiences will be spent working on his transition skills to college and the wider world. He will have community trips and outings to get him used to social interactions with people and learning to control his behavior to fit into a society that doesn't "get" him. He will probably spend another year at the school he is at to help with this transition to college.

Thing is...I am proud of the progress he has made and is making...I do think he will enter into college and find himself and get a rewarding career. It will take more time, perhaps, but he will do it.

Still, there are times that even after you have reconciled yourself to being a Special Needs parent...you grieve the "might have beens".  Friday night, with the lights and the sounds, combined with the approach of fall...it was a moment that my grief came to visit me.

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Then there was Saturday. Michael applied for and was accepted for a job at a Halloween store. His first day was Saturday. There was a bit of a problem with paperwork, but he actually dealt with it pretty well and things worked out....and he did his shift and all went well. I could not be prouder!

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The paperwork snafu was mainly fixed because Chewy is an awesome father and while I was working out other solutions, he re-read the form and found a loop-hole. We got the alternative paperwork and Chewy took Michael back to his job. On the way there, Chewy said "See, I told you I'd figure it out." Michael said "You did not say that, but I knew you would."




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Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Friday, September 09, 2016

Morning Report

This is the morning report
Gives you the long and the short
Every grunt, roar, and snort
Not a tale I distort
On the morning report


Rough night for Chewy, meant that the boy was woken up late; no shower today...

As I walk down the stairs, I hear familiar voices and sounds...realize that my son is 
watching a 50 year old television show--Star Trek marathon is on.  (We have all 
on DVD...think we shall be watching some this weekend).  It was wonderful to see my son 
watching something that my dad loved, that I loved...the show that brought my son to 
this life, actually...

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Driving her to school.  Somehow one of those conversations that start with 
something innocuous then somehow comes to this point:

She: "How did you feel when you found out he [her brother] was autistic?" 
Ahh...the questions and answers--there are times when she is far smarter then we 
give her credit for.  She is searching and probing..and far more empathetic than 
I was at her age.  Complex thoughts at morning drop off..not finished, but tabled...

 
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Wednesday, September 07, 2016

Time, time, time...

Time, time, time See what's become of me...
And look around you
Leaves are brown, now
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter



How quickly the summer has gone...and now the first days of school are upon us!  Just like a page from a book being turned, the weather has gotten colder, crisper and rainy...

Michael started his Senior Year of High School...

Two weeks ago, hanging out at a breakfast place...


This was him getting off the bus to start Kindergarten...



This is him before going to school yesterday...

He does not "do" smiles at the moment...he actually was quite excited to go!

Senior.Year.  Whoa.

Meanwhile, we have Third Grader...who still is okay posing for my pre-requisite First Day of School Pictures:

My girl

This is my serious girl--in the teacher lines at the gym...Mrs. White, 3rd Grade, here we come!

That smile!

Barely ate her breakfast..

Wake up--not a very big morning person, this one...






Saturday, September 03, 2016

Swimmer

Before this summer, Willow had the mechanics down regarding swimming, but did not like getting her face wet or blowing bubbles in the water.

This summer, I signed her up for a swimming class, and armed with Goggles--she became a swimmer extraordinaire! 

She now does hand stands in the water--and passed the deep end tests at summer camp, so she could swim away!

While we were on Cape Cod, Chewy and Michael took some pictures of our swimmer:







Thursday, September 01, 2016

Really Relaxing...

It has been a really relaxing vacation. Everything has went smoothly and we have had nice weather (except for a rainy day today).  Everything has just been so nice and it has been a great way to say good bye to summer...one more full day...then back home and getting ready for work and the new school year!
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Michael went on his own in Provincetown.  Most of the time, he has shown how mature he has become...until the sibling rivalry rears it head in the back seat or in the shared bedroom at the condo...

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Willow has started to show an interest in shopping, going into every shop, and noticing all the pretty clothes, etc.
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UPDATE:

Summary of what we did:

Sunday - hung out at the pool and had seafood and local stuff

Monday - Wellfleet/Eastham, including drive-in, Red Barn Pizza and mini-golf

Tuesday - Free Tour of Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute (We got to see Alvin!) and Clambake at Seacrest Hotel on Silver Beach in Falmouth (Wonderful sunset and great food!)

Wednesday - Provincetown!  Private beach time, shopping, Lobster Pot (great salad dressing..) Michael on his own, Willow going into full shopping mode!

Thursday - Rainy day--went to Falmouth town center and hung out, had cupcakes at Cupcake Charlies and then went to a cinema pub in Falmouth to watch a movie

Friday - Pirate Coves Mini-Golf, Wellfleet/Eastham again for more nice pizza and arcade games; then curried scallops for me!  Dairy Queen

Babylon 5 episodes; swimming pool; cupcakes; Mashpee commons; hanging out; card games with Willow; Michael phrases and relaxing in a rocking chair.  (Willow finding Disney pre-teen/teen shows--ugh!)

It was a wonderful time and I am very happy. 

Eating cupcakes on a Rainy Day

Shopping!

Yummy salad with yummier salad dressings!

Flying a kite in Provincetown



Ben & Jerry's Face!  Chocolate Therapy

Clambake at the Seacrest in Falmouth



Sunset at Silver Beach (Clambake)

Alvin--at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute.


Woods Hole

Drive-In in Wellfleet

Mini-Golf at the Red Barn

Art at Highfield Hall