Wednesday, November 13, 2019

I miss writing here...


I promise to try to do better...

Looking at my last post, that pretty much sums up life the past couple months.  Halloween has come and gone and we are already looking at Thanksgiving soon.

Everyone still trying to find their way, some days I think things are just going to crash apart, and some days I see the hope.

This year has gone off the rails so fast and we have never really recovered.  I told myself that I would steer into the slide, and with each new road block, I have found myself having a harder time having the emotional (and sometimes physical) energy to steer.

Okay,  self.  Enough!

50 years old, you are going to be---and dammit, next year will be better!  Or at least you will deal with it better!  Or something like that, dammit!

As usual, what usually happens with me is I go through a sloth/slug period and then I pick myself (and my family) back up again, and we continue on.

Meanwhile, while we get ourselves ready for Thanksgiving and the holidays (and my birthday party!)...some pictures:

Don't know if you can see, but a leaf impression in ice on my car windshield.

At Mt. Auburn Cemetary

Our raccoon who is making a mess of our trash cans lately.

Halloween 2019

Even Michael went out, Halloween 2019

John made a Crepe breakfast while Chewy and Michael were away at Carnage (gaming convention in VT)

Willow found my lip stick.  I think she takes lessons from the Joker...

And then there was the Braces consultation...


Monday, September 23, 2019

#Microblog Monday: Learning to Tread Water

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too. Click here for most recent posts...


Work and life have been overwhelming lately for both of us...er...well, for ALL of us.  I think we are all dealing with various situations that are overwhelming us and we are each dealing with it in our ways...trying to find our way out of the anxiety, or at least to the point of getting above it.

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Working from home can be advantageous, but it also brings some disadvantages--Chewy is experiencing all these as he has been working from home since December...the need to get out and AWAY from the house (and the children) is higher...and trying to find the time for him to be able to do just that is hard.

Adding to the issue is Chewy's foot issue (with the whole BOOT thing--no walking without it, no driving).  The good news--it is really healing well now!  The bad--a few more weeks with the boot.

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Michael is on the cusp of so many things, but options and transitions are not things a person on the spectrum can handle well.  The best thing for him is short, simple steps towards a goal...but keeping him moving towards that goal, making sure that he keeps those goals in mind and makes some type of progress towards the goals...that can be a challenge.  The summer break has made him a bit soft...made the parental units soft too. 

I push when I can, but pushing too hard, makes him anxious and he shies away.  Ultimately, HE has to make the progress.

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Willow is having a tough time transitioning to Middle School.  The calls from school are almost daily, and I hope that slowly, but surely, she will get used to the routine of it and get interested in extracurriculars and that will invigorate her interest in school in general.  (She loves reading and learning, she just seems to not like being put into a cookie cutter setting...)

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My work has been overwhelming lately...too much work, not enough time to breathe or take a break...and when I am done with the working day---I have to deal with the above issues.

Thinking of taking advantage of the Day Spa gift certificate from Mother's Day long ago....





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Friday, September 13, 2019

Trying to connect...

Tonight was a strange night of connections and non connections....driving to meet my brother for dinner (his birthday is Sunday)...drifting along with tunes...mind thinking about time...Judy Blues Eyes came up and I was starting to cry (Chewy has recently mentioned that he would like this song played when he dies).

Then I drive Michael to his event...and Willow comes along.  She talks to me excitedly about Magna and Anime..about this Magna she is loving and wants me to read.  It's great to hear her discover something and try to get me to discover it too.

Then, picking up Michael later...by ourselves. nothing to say.  I try to reach out and discuss something meaningful...silence.  I cannot connect to him no matter how I try.  And it bothers me but I cannot communicate that to him.  

The end of the night and I come to connect with my husband for the last part of the evening...moving on from the past and future and into the now...

Monday, August 19, 2019

Photos from the Weekend

At Horn Pond


Michael

Willow's drawing of Michael (inaccurate in that she has him with tied shoes...he doesn't wear shoes that tie)


Eating Cracker Jacks in her new sweatshirt (one of a few items she got back to school shopping)

Tuesday, August 06, 2019

Dang, it Time!! Quit going so fast!!

So, the last time I was going to blog here, I was going to discuss the end of the school year, the end of my last child's elementary school years and looking towards summer....

And then life, just got in the way BIG time!

So, here is the picture I was going to share at that time:




That is a page from a Dr. Seuss book which I bought a few years ago.  I read somewhere that a father had had his daughter's teachers write something in the book ("Oh the Places You'll Go") since kindergarten, and he gave it to his daughter at her high school graduation....sounded like something awesome/impossible to attempt.  So, since Kindergarten, each teacher of Willow's has written something in this book at the end of the year...so, now...onto Middle School....ummm...now, I realize this is going to be a lot harder!  ;-)

Willow had a tough, tough time in 4-5 grades.  I am hopeful that Middle School will be different...not necessarily easier--but more closer to her sensibilities.  I am looking forward to her trying new things like band and drama club, etc.

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OKAY, so now it is August!

Chewy has been dealing with medical issues all year--first his appendix and now an infected toe.  He has been limited in his walking abilities (has a boot and is restricted) and has not driven in over a month....the good news for all is that means that Michael has had to step up on his driving....and has finally gotten his Driver's License!!!

Working from home, Chewy has been able to take care of his foot better, although having to have the kids around has gotten a bit stifling too... (they are generally good and Willow has the occasional camping experience to escape/run from...)

Michael HAS NOT gotten a summer job again...but he has been trying harder at it, and it worked out that he was needed a chauffeur as it is...so there is that.

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We were able to get away rather quickly for a short Cape Cod long weekend last week...despite me coming down with an infection and laid me low most of that week...

She got totally wet trying to do the dishes...

Note from Willow regarding helping out while I was sick...


We went to the Edward Gorey house, we played mini-golf at a new place, we went to the Woods Hole Aquarium, hung out in Falmouth town square, we sought out a couple beaches and seafood...finished with pizza from the Red Barn....it was different/same and lazier than normal...but despite it all...we had a good time and will remember certain parts of it more than we would our "normal" Cape adventures...




Inflatable park...that is Michael behind Willow in a plastic ball...

The best picture I could get of the family this year...despite their expressions, the kids had a great time! (the parents, sometimes wanted to leave the kids behind, but...we digress...)

A lobster that she did not eat!

On the beach in the early evening...

Drawing during dinner...

What swim suit? None needed!

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And now...its again AUGUST...and while the summer is starting its swan song...we still have some summer time fun left...and our favorite guest coming---Tom!

Looking forward to having an excuse to do some fun touristy things with Tom, and hope that we get a few more beach days in before the summer is over and the fall begins....











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Thursday, May 09, 2019

Listening to 80s Alternative is Lowering my Blood Pressure....

As usual, our lives cannot be "normal" for any length of time---Chewy is looking for another job, Willow is growing like a weed and I cannot keep up, Michael is finished with another semester of college with nothing lined up (yet) for summer.....

I am working....and working HARD...and my only solace lately when the the pressures of life and work get to me--Netflix...and my Amazon Playlist of 1980s alternative music....listneing to Depeche Mode, New Order, The Cure, The Smiths...

Rocking away while working away!

Now, if only I could get myself motivated to get to an aqua aerobics class on Saturday mornings...I would be happy!

Hopefully, things will get better soon...although the world seems to be going downhill faster lately...sigh...








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Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Willow at Eleven

Puberty. Anxiety. Wisdom. Depression. Love of the absurd, both horrible and silly. Lover of books, both non-fiction and fiction. Observant. Naive. Not-as Naive.  Maturing, but not sure.  Teenager to the T.

Willow has hit the ground running this year and 11 finds her questioning and pondering and trying to find herself.  She reminds me very much of myself at her age.  We have had some interesting discussions lately.  I worry about her feelings of depression and anxiety, but I am happy that she is willing to discuss things openly with me.

There have been wonderful moments between me and her lately, whether it has been her sitting up in the front seat in the car, her and I singing at the top of our lungs to the Romantics or watching some comedy sketch she likes on UTube, or just snuggling and talking...it has been great to get to know her in a more mature way. 

It is going to be a bumpy ride...but I am proud of the young woman she is becoming...and hopefully, this year will get better!























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I miss writing here...

I promise to try to do better... Looking at my last post, that pretty much sums up life the past couple months.  Halloween has come an...