Tuesday, November 29, 2016

December, December...

So, the Holiday Season is upon our family.

I have mixed emotions on this.

There have been times in recent memory that I have been a bit melancholy and out-right depressed around this time of year.

Last year, I was splendidly not depressed--but the time went by so quickly--I barely got all my x-mas music played!

This year--the election and the state of the world kinda adds to my anxiety levels.

Also the fact that Michael will be turning 18 years old this February--and the anxiety levels that that provides regarding worrying about college, driver's education, special needs issues, etc.  Oh, and the college class he will be taking with his curriculum this spring..the fact that he will be graduating with his public high school class, etc.  Yep...it will be a special, stressful year coming up!

Well, first up is Driver's Education...made the down payment--he will be taking 6 hour a day classes during Holiday break this year!  Then on the road it is for him.  He is a bit excited about it (has been asking to do it for about six months), but like a lot of things for him--he is quietly anxious about it.

The biggest thing we have learned regarding Michael is that he needs more life experiences--because he gets himself so anxious in anticipation that he can become frozen regarding these big steps.  I can see him starting to worry about the college class he is taking in the spring...and this is exacerbated by the fact that state law will emancipate him when he turns 18...which means the decisions on these big steps are his to make (with, hopefully, our guidance).  I think sometimes he worries we are just going to kick him out when he turns 18...which, even for a teen without special needs, is daunting.


Meanwhile--the Holidays come whether we are ready or not!  I have a good deal of my shopping done already--and just when I think I am at a good place---realize there is someone I am forgetting or something else--like, oh, Holiday cards....that I still have to get!  But, by now, I know not to sweat the small things...right now, I know, wistfully, the best things about the Holidays are the times together and the memories we share.

So, while I am stressing about things coming up and what is next and what is needed for this and that....I am trying very hard to also enjoy the here and now.


We had a very relaxing Thanksgiving weekend, hardly doing anything...eating lots of food and getting the Holiday decorations out.  This year we put the tree in a different spot.

We used our new Echo Dot to play some holiday music and it was so much fun!

Our newest ornament--for Star Trek's 50th anniversary!  It plays the original Star Trek theme and has Captain Kirk speaking (very tinny--but cool!)

I did not get a good picture of the tree yet...but will put it on here when I do!


Sunday, November 13, 2016

Upon thoughts and thinking, healing and hoping...

I came on here to put down my thoughts about the election...

This morning we watched the SNL from last night, and it was very cathartic, especially the cold open.  I came online and saw my friend Mel had written a post...and she mentions it beautifully.

Please click HERE to read her post and see the cold open.


I have a lot of thoughts about this election and its outcome.  Some is conflicting, most of it mixed with sadness.


I had not realized how much I wanted a woman president.  How proud I was to share that wonderful milestone with my daughter.  The fact that not only the glass ceiling did not break, but a misogynist, whose agenda includes restricting women's rights won is a bit much.  I put my daughter to bed on election night, telling her I would wake her up when Hillary won...bitter ashes.

I feel saddened that there are people who are so angry at not being heard, that they would let someone "tell it like it is" and tell them what they want to hear, including scapegoating minorities for their issues...the fact that racism and sexism were not only part of the agenda, the discussion, but that despite that, they voted for him. 

I worry that progress that has been made, will be lost.  Not only for women's rights, but also for other minorities.


So, how did this happen?  Why did we not realize this would happen?  I feel betrayed by the Democratic party and the process.  I voted for Bernie in the primaries...and I am not one of those that feels like Hillary stole the nomination from him...I think that was purely political maneuvering and that she won the nomination.  However, she was the "establishment" choice.  I was so hoping she was going to pick Bernie or another woman to be her running mate.  Instead, she picked a safer, more traditional choice.  Even then, I slowly worked it through...I was fine with it, I figured, okay, so they are being the Democrats...being safe and taking the higher ground...figuring, like we all did, that he would pretty much cause self-inflicted harm. 

Which, he did....but, as he said...and he was right...it did not matter what he did.  The people who voted for him were angry, were disenfranchised and would not listen or care...because he spoke to them and for them in the language that they wanted to hear. 

This is the betrayal on all parts....no one is going to get what they really need or want--because no one was caring to listen...or at least understand...

This article made it pretty clear to me the why.  I still do not fully agree with this population--as they have ideas based on half-truths, sexism and bigotry.  But, it is good to understand why they are upset and how we should talk to them.

We are all betrayed and history tells us this is not going to be good.

Moving on

So.  I don't think I can easily forgive someone who voted for him.  I can listen to why they did.  I will try to understand that.  But, unless they accept and condemn the overt and implicit racism, sexism and general hatred that their candidate has supported, I cannot forgive.  I have friends and family who are scared.  Who are worried about what will happen.  History does not tell us this will end well.

I will be there for support.  I will fight for the rights of the oppressed.  I will make sure my voice is heard. 

I will try to listen to others and try to reach out...and hope that perhaps, this will become a way that we will learn to be stronger together...


Here is a post from another fellow blogger.  She posted links on ways to help others.  Please click HERE.

Also, here is a helpful article about how to get involved.

Killing time...

Things I have been doing lately: Job hunting Cuddling with cats Worrying about the world at large Worrying about Michael's future...