This last year has been one of the hardest ones for our family and especially for Willow.
Dealing with Depression and Anxiety, a year ago she was hospitalized with suicidal ideation. I could barely recognize my daughter, and she was not just a shell of herself. Not only was she Depressed--she was angry, exhausted, apathetic, desperate.
She was in the ER under constant watch for 5 days before they were able to get her a bed In-Patient. Those 5 days, one of us was always there with her. We took turns as to who would sleep overnight in the hospital room with her. The hospital made us make sure she did not have elastic or ties in her sweatpants. She could not have her phone unless we were there. She could not shower without someone (me) being in the shower room with her.
When she was being admitted to the In-Patient ward, I had an tense meeting with her and the counselors and nurses while I filled out the paperwork. She was being un-cooperative, sullen, withdrawn, scared. I have never been so scared for someone in my life. She told me she hated me for abandoning her there, and I had to make the decision to leave her there. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, and I am forever grateful that I had the courage to do so.
She was there for a little over 2 weeks. She spent her 16th Birthday there.
ER
In-Patient room.
Michael brought her his Bluey stuffies.
I can share all this now because it was a year ago and Willow is in such a better place now. I can share this because Willow's progress over the last year has been impressive. I can share this because a year ago, I almost lost her---and now its been a year where we have gained her back.
There are still struggles to face and she has more progress to make. But the crisis is over and we can Celebrate this year to come.
And the humorous, thoughtful, COURAGOUS, intelligent, beautiful person that still is my daughter will be 17 years old!
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