Thursday, July 30, 2009

Thoughts on Patience

I used to think I was a patient person. Okay, so maybe I was delusional. Or maybe it was because I did not have big expectations.

I first noticed my wonderful patience slipping away once I had a child. I know part of this was because of the chaos that ensues when a newborn hits your life. Part of my lack of patience was being a first time parent. Wanting him to “hurry up” to get to his many milestones. I remember worrying about why he wasn’t walking. Why wasn’t he talking yet? Could I not have been patient, like the doctor told me? No.

I have learned not to hurry those developments. My son has grown before my eyes, but it seems like a blur. It is so hard for me to believe that he once was like his little sister. I try hard to remember him as a toddler…but there are so many other versions of my son (the five year old giggle puss who found out that saying “poop” and “fart” were HILARIOUS; the eight year old so into Halloween that he was constantly talking about it in August). Life hurries past me and I wonder how come it is not patient with me. Why can’t I push the pause button and have those special moments stay a bit longer?

Not that I haven’t had “Teaching Moments” in Patience 101. Fertility treatments alone forced me to be patient despite myself. Taking those shots in anticipation of egg retrieval (resting afterwards) and transfer (more resting afterwards). And then the horrible Two Week Wait. Not to mention the years of TTC on our own and wondering “why?”

So, I have strived to be patient in my life. And sometimes it works out. Like when I was unemployed. I knew the situation. I knew we were going to be okay for a while without me working. So, I bid my time and patiently looked for a job. And I got another lesson in Patience 101 – being home alone with your children on many, many, many rainy days…

And now, I cannot believe those four months flew by. And yet. I am impatient. Again.

Here are the things I have no more patience for:

The copier at my new job. It jams every 3rd page or so. (ARRGH)

For my vacation to start!

For time to get back to my book—it is at a really great part and I keep being interrupted.

For my exercising and watching what I eat to actually amount to some weight loss already!

For our bedroom closet to be repaired and organized!

For Willow to start talking!!

I guess I need to go the Advanced Class on Patience.


Cibele said...

You are not alone , I need an "Advanced Class on Patience"...

Kate said...

I hear ya! Patience is not one of my virtues!

Martha said...

You sound pretty darn patient to me!!

KimboSue said...

Patiences is a virtue my friend. It sounds like you have plenty of it.

Right now you just have vacation-itis!