No Where is Safe...

Hiding things or keeping things away from Whirlwind Willow is often not only impossible, but also frustratingly exasperating.

How can this girl not understand finding a good hiding place for Hide N Seek (oh, she is ALWAYS in the kitchen next to the fridge or under the kitchen table and expects you to be there on your hiding turn too), but she can still find things that I have stuffed in drawers or on top of bookshelves or inside bags under things in drawers??

How come I find her playing with holiday bibs that I put away for safe keeping, finding those wonderfully tangible memories being used on her baby dolls? How come SHE found the quilted crib pad that I bought when I was pregnant with her but could not find all this time?

She finds spring and summer clothes from last year (that barely fit her) and insists on wearing them in winter...

She has found toys of Michael's I thought were thrown away. She has found toys of Michael's that I thought were boxed up for his memories. I re-hide them as soon as I can--but damn, she keeps finding Dinosaur Oatmeal (Michael's stuffed racoon he named himself)!

And then today. Today she found my cleverly (frankly, not too cleverly) hidden holiday DVDs. As she proudly held the long-denied Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, she helpfully pointed out that there was snow on the ground so it must be okay to watch....(yeah, there was a small dusting of snow this morning). Luckily, daddy gets to watch this viewing of her favorite video...

Perfect Moment Monday

Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. For more Perfect Moments, go HERE

Moment #1: I stand there in the night chill and I look up in awe. I cannot help but wonder at the wonderfully bright and clear moon. As I stand there, I ask my husband if I should wake the children (the night was too cloudy earlier). He leaves it up to me. I go into his bedroom and not only is he asleep, but she has snuck into his bed. I move her oh so gently into her bed. And I go back. And while he is so sleepy and I don't want to disturb him--I know that he would be upset if I let this moment pass. So I wake him. And he stumbles down the stairs, gets his coat on over his footie pjs (he owns only one pair, but loves them). And we look up at the moon together. (He looks, is somewhat amazed, then, because he really is half awake--he goes back in...I stay out there without a coat for a bit longer).

Moment #2: It is a Saturday morning and (surprise!) the kids are actually letting us sleep in (that is a relative term). Imperceptibly, I start to hear hushed talking. Very animated, small and in my room. As I lay in bed, waking up slowly, I find that she is sitting near our bed, playing with toys. Being quiet, feeling safe.

Bonus Moment: Some new clothes for Spring/Summer came in the mail. Of course, she wanted to wear them NOW. And I tried to capture her in two of the outfits...but found that I really just captured HER.

Perfect Moment Monday

Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. For more Perfect Moments, go HERE

Moment #1: She is so small and bright and delicate and different. Holding her is not like I remember. I am not a baby person at all, uncomfortable with others children versus my own. But she smiles at me and coos. And I look upon the perfection that is my niece.

Later, I hold her sister. She is crying and doing what a typical three month old does. I am being helpful, so I think, by holding her while her mother gets something to eat. However, all the tricks that work that I know of to stop her crying seem not to work. I take her up to my daughter's room and rock her. As I nestle in to the rocker and try to calm her, I have a brief flashback to my daughter being this age. And I sigh and realize how quickly time passes by. And then I realize that maybe the screaming in my ear means that its time to give up and bring this one to her mother (which works like a charm). Giving back the past, to face my future who then hugs me and sits on my leg, making it wet because she has wet through her pull up...[sigh]

Moment #2: She hugs me on a whim. She tells me she loves me in the middle of conversations. She constantly asks me to play with her (which started to really annoy me this weekend...now that she is in bed I kinda miss her constant at-my-elbowness). She told me a story of her own making that had a beginning, middle and end. All weekend she has shown me how much she is growing and changing. All weekend I have known how much she loves me. All weekend I have been proud of her. And I regret the temper and anxiety that I have had most of this weekend to not fully appreciate all this...but I recognized it now and hope to appreciate it more from now on.

Moment #3: He uses our special phrase for his feelings tonight--he is having the "Sunday Blahs". Not depressed, just kinda down and not wanting the day to end. So after his sister is to bed, even though I would rather have some "me" time, I tell him he can stay up with me and we can play a game or watch television together. He at first expresses the game option, but then goes with the television one. He picks a DVD and we watch, he and I under a blanket on the couch.

Planetarium

Today, we went to the newly renovated planetarium (I am sure I am not the only one that always feels like I am saying that wrong?).

Before we went to the show, Michael suggested we go visit the small children's discovery zone. We hadn't been there since Willow was about one, so it was a "new" discovery for her.

Willow enjoyed playing in the water area:

The fishes she hoarded away from the other kids...warning, other kids, you put the fishy down the stream, the Willow Monster grabs it!! (Yeah, I had her give most of them back)

She also put fishies down the stream!

Yeah, I know she needs a haircut! (Next week, I promise!)

It was fun being there and watching her explore things that I remember Michael exploring. And it was fun watching Michael remembering things and revisiting them...


Yeah, he don't fit as well into the bee costume or the hive...

The planetarium itself was awesome, although Willow was a bit frightened of it and had a few times when she said she wanted out...but we snuggled her closer and in the end she enjoyed it. She is always "finding" the moon in the evening and on car rides. Often she finds it up in the sky and asks to go there...and I always tell her she needs a rocket to do so...maybe someday she will be an astronaut! :-)

Joys of Reading

Reading is one of my favorite things in life. And it was bittersweet to watch Michael learn to read, as it took away one of my favorite things to do with him--reading books with him. I loved making each character have distinctive voices and loved reading old favorites and finding new ones.

Even after he learned to read, for quite some time we had bedtime reading--where I would sit in his room at bedtime and read from a chapter book to him. We read about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the Little House series, Pooh Bear and others.

After Willow was born, those bedtime stories were phased out (I didn't have time with a newborn, it was too choatic, he would read in bed on his own). Now he has a nightly reading assignment from school (they have to read for 30 mins. a night).

So there was silence. And, at first, Willow did not care to sit still enough to listen to any books. FINALLY, the last year has blossomed...and I am so glad to be reading with silly voices again!!


Willow's pick for last night's bedtime reading...

Spring is coming...

Sunday we went out to run errands, but before we finished, we had to enjoy the warm up and the mud and the ice on the pond. It was not as gray as these pictures show, although it was starting to rain a bit. And the coats--they actually were not that necessary (except for the aforementioned rain). And the shoes--well, they got a little muddy...

Kids throwing rocks on the local pond...

Perfect Moment Monday

Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. For more Perfect Moments, go HERE

Moment #1: The theater darkens and I am there sitting with my husband on one side, my son on the other. This is not the first time that my husband and I have seen this movie, this performance. We have followed this group and their performances for years. Our son has gone to some of their other movies and performances, but this is the first time to this movie--this performance of music to a silent movie. And it is a new restoration of this classic silent movie. It brings back memories to me of the first time that my husband and I saw this performance. Over a decade ago. A lifetime ago...and I sit in awe of the movie, the creativity surrounding me in the musicians playing, in the movie that was made so many lifetimes ago. And I watch my son, his eyes wide, as he takes it in. I wonder at him, our creation, and the experiences that he will have in life. And then I enjoy the movie and thrill at seeing the "new" scenes, restored...a new perspective.

Moment #2: We are eating dinner at the table, all together. I wish this happened more often, but it does not always work out that way. But as we sit at the dinner table and we are distraction free...I realize there is singing. She is singing her own little song at the dinner table--interpersed with various words...it takes me a while to figure out what song she is singing. It is an original song--about the big bad wolf and the three little pigs (and red riding hood seems to be there too). So, those nursery stories I have been recently regaling her with are sinking in...in some unexpected ways...I think singing at the dinner table has never been so sweet.

Gaming

Every other week, sometimes less, depending on schedules. Next one on St. Patrick's Day. We will do something special, make corned beef and cabbage, maybe someone will bring chips. (New Years was a deli platter and swedish meatballs). They will play with our cats and our children. We will feel warmth and companionship. And we will be dwarfs, or evil mages, druids or clerics. We will laugh or barrage another of our party for a dumb move. We will order pizza for our skyped friend (the delivery guy will be amazed it is payed for from someone in Boston).

These guys. Sometimes I am not in the mood to have these guys come over and intrude on my Thursday night (I have so many other things to do on a weeknight). Sometimes I am not in the mood to be the only girl, hanging out with the guys and playing a game...but most times. Most times I am so happy to have such wonderful friends, and have times to fight zombie mummies, rats and goblins.

The Plan 2011 - February Update

Well, things were not that great in February. Still reeling from various snowstorms and various anxieties involving work, finances and life in general in the middle of a snowy-post-holiday-will-the-winter-never-end type month.

But, it ended on high notes with a successful birthday party for Michael (nerf-guns, clone trooper and cake, pizza, rowdy kids, oh my!) and a fun time at Total Confusion.

So, maybe March will be a better month to stick to my goals...lets see what scattered remnants are left from this past month...

In the Health/Well-being department:

Well, I kept my morning exercise routine fine--I would say this is a non-goal issue anymore--I totally am in this routine and, baring sickness, I am keeping it up (its been a year). That night time Wii workout--STILL kinda tangled up like the cords behind my television. Big downfall this month was COMFORT food. So, no weight loss, but no significant gain either--just flipping stagnant. Ugh.

In the Family Life Department:

"Ultimate goal is to spend more time with family; family work as team"

Both children are maturing and taking on new responsibilities. For Michael, we are trying to make him be more independent when it comes to making himself breakfast, etc. He has also been a great help with Willow.

Willow, for her part, decided that she may actually try this Potty Training thing. I am keeping this pretty loose and fancy free, underwear was bought, but that was too much for her. So, we are doing pull-ups during the day, diapers at night. She seems to be taking to it well, but we are far from the "all accidents" stage.

Anxiety has definitely been the worst thing plaguing our family this February, so I have decided that this month's goal is to find better ways to handle the stress for everyone. At one point this month I just laid down on the couch, lights low, and listened to a recording of thunderstorms--the best thing for me at that point. I need to do that more often. Also, I sensed from the gaming weekend that what really helps us to de-stress...playing games and being silly. We did not do enough of that this past month. We all need to do more of it this month.

Other goals that were managed in February...we did find another avenue for babysitting (a friend's daughter), so we did get to go out on our anniversary of our first date. We had an expensive dinner, thanks to my bosses Gift Card and we saw True Grit (with my brother's Gift Card). Some time was actually spent with my husband. Still not enough time, so that goal needs to be put down for next month. Also, I did manage to spend quality time with both children--although playing with Willow's dolls in her house is not most stimulating, she is getting into dinosaurs--great house crashers!

Goals for March:

Stress relief for all!

Start to plan Willow's birthday party in April!

Plan for her change into Pre-school in April!

Plan and save more.

Find some new meals to add to our dinners.

Actually watch what I eat and get back to eating more healthy.

Perfect Moment Monday - Things to do in a Hotel Room...

Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. For more Perfect Moments, go HERE


We had a good time at the convention -- some more than others--I did not get to play as many games as I would have liked...but my son had a GREAT time and was so well behaved and had so many games that he played--my highlight was when father and son played an old style D&D game today. His highlight was playing a full scale model city Godzilla monster game on Friday evening.

I did win one of the games I played. It was a new game that I thought was so fun that I bought it...and today we played it at home.

Hubs, as usual, got voted best gamer in one his adventures. I did a bit more pool time with the kids this year--I am amazed at how much my daughter is progressing in the swimming department--definitely looking forward to swim classes with her once the weather is warmer.

We all had various games and events going on...but what do you do during those down times in the hotel room?

You play with dragons...





You eat microwaved pizza...





Or, before going to the pool, you jam/dance to the end credits of "Megamind"...

Gaming Migration....

It's Total Con time again!!

My chart is ready, laundry is done...packing started this morning. Today is my last workday for the week. And then Friday morning we are going to the hotel. Hubs gets first strike on games at 1 p.m. on Friday...looks like I will be setting up the hotel room with the kids. Then, Michael and I will be having our respective games in the evening (mine is scheduled to last until 1 a.m. or later--hence why its good to be at the hotel that the convention is being held!)

It is always interesting to do this convention each year. We meet up with old friends and aquaintences...people we see once or twice a year, people we see more than that. There are familar faces that I never quite know their names, but I know them and we quickly nod at each other as we go about the convention. Our children are known there. Michael is known both for his wonderful imagination and wit and for his tantrums and eccentricities (which are not that different from a lot of the other gamers--yeah, ADHD and OCD are waaaaaaay represented at the convention). Willow has grown up at the convention--people are always commenting on how she has changed since last they saw her.

Being at the convention feels warm and inviting. And while there is competition (don't even mess with the guys and their train games--I am just sayin'!), most of the time you just feel like you are a part of something and everyone is just enjoying being there and being geeky.

We need this away time this year. We need the distraction. And I am looking forward to it.

A Must Read...

Um, why does the government hate women so much?

Perfect Moment Monday - His Birthday

Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. For more Perfect Moments, go HERE


I do not like getting up early so I can watch Super Hero Squad. I do not particularly like going to Bur.ger Ki.ng for lunch. Nor do I really like spaghetti for dinner. But he does. And it was his birthday today and I had it off. I would have liked my whole attention to be on him today, but his sister was also home today, so I did what I could with him. So, after getting him to give me 1/2 hour more sleep (I mean, yeah, it was a day off, he could wait until 6:30, right?), I watched cartoons with him, we played with his sister, and the kids got ice cream (her first melt down of the day was when I said 2 hoodsies at 11 a.m. was enough).

During lunch I did that embarrassing thing I always hated that my mom did (and at one time I am sure I swore I would not)--I told him what I had been doing 12 years ago today (being in a drug induced stupor and breastfeeding). After lunch, he spent his gift cards at Ga.me.st.op.

We have a long history with Spongebob PC, X-Box and Wii games. We have bought them for his birthday, he has bought them for my birthday (its a platform game--I kick butt on platform games). So, the ultimate perfect moment today--watching and commenting with him while he played his new Spongebob Wii game, while she slept on my chest.

How did he go from this:

To this:

So fast?!

Old Skool - Beastie Boys Rock Band

Friday night, after dinner...a little Rock Band...and some Beastie Boys!

Glimpses.Life.

It is 6:30 a.m., my warmth is being compromised, my neck hurts. I realize that he has come into our bed (within the last 10 mins). Long and lanky and I snuggle up with him, realizing this weekend he will gain another year and I will lose another year.

Father and son get up eventually, leaving me in bed to sleep in. Unlike normal Saturdays, I do not set an alarm. I have anxiety dreams, and restlessly sleep. I wake up to the clock reading "11:00 a.m.!!!" and then rub my eyes and it really is 8:30.

Down the stairs to familiar cartoon sounds and the new routine of potty training...meaning a toddler is running naked around the house half the time...sometimes by choice.

Scary Spongebob tent in the middle of the living room floor. An old toy, its a bed tent for my then 5 year old son, found again last week. And now it is a hiding place for the naked toddler...and the cats. And I thought I snuck it up to my son's room last weekend...and now it seems to have come down here again...I am going to kick that tent at some point this weekend...

Feeling a little nervous about the birthday party...not a lot, really, this is old hat by now. A couple calls from parents--one for directions to the venue, one to explain that one of his best friends cannot make it--he has Strep (!)

Pick up the cake--from a bakery this time and more expensive then I thought...go to Wal.greens and pick up ginger ale and cola.

The party is successful, kids arrive on time, instructor is ready, nerf guns are ablazing. She plays with an old toy of his, given to her as a "present" to make her feel better about the attention that is not.all.hers. Pizza delivered in the nick of time, cake moist and rich and good.

Home with presents, he disappears to assemble presents and open his presents from us. Playing side by side, my children are quiet and interesting and amazing. And I video tape something that is intangible.

Evening time and now I am talking on a long range walkie talkie (a birthday present from his cousin) while he and my husband go to the grocery store for a couple of items.

Too much sugar has been had by all. But bedtime is soon.

Husband reading the last book...now time for me to put them to bed...and while I am looking forward to some adult time with my husband, there is a part of me that would like to just snuggle in the bed with them...

+

Birthdays

Yesterday found me stalking the various social media for three amazing women in the IF community.

I am so very happy for all three of them! And as I watched and waited for each newborn to arrive...I thought back to my children and their births. I especially thought of my first born. He was also born in February.

So this weekend will be filled with Birthday fun...his 12th Birthday Party is on Saturday. Rambunctious, hyperactive boys (and some girls), running around an obstacle course shooting Ne.rf Guns...pizza and cake (with Clone Troopers on them). I still haven't gotten things for the goody bags yet...

As I spend his actual birthday this year (it is a holiday this year!) with him, I will be thinking of those small babies across the blogosphere--those so hard-fought and won babies and the many babies-to-be out there... And how small my son used to be, how he has grown...and how grateful I am for it all.

Perfect Moment Monday

Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. For more Perfect Moments, go HERE

I wish my memory was better (part of the reason why I blog and scrapbook). Looking over photo albums (nothing like death to make one go over your memories). I am looking at them alone up in my bedroom. I smile and I remember. And I think of those times when I took for granted a game of 500 Rummey, sweet peas and tunafish sandwiches. Or organ playing where I got to play with the peddles/paddles. Or singing of songs (some of which I cannot remember, some I sing to my children). I remember squirrels and roses and visits to campus. I remember that my brother has ALWAYS been a Ham on camera...and that at some point my parents were happy together. I remember bike riding with my gang of friends up and down the neighborhood....memories flood my mind, just little snippets, but they are there.

I then realize that I am doing something wrong. And I go downstairs. With each child sitting next to me, I go over the album again. Memories need to be shared.

Memories of Childhood - Gone

Remembering a big green Buick

The excitement of power locks

Visiting and listening and playing cards (lots of different games with cards)

Ice Cream at night

Rough housing

Long summer nights outside in the air, lightning bugs

Being told to be polite (critical love)

Going to the hair salon--one of the girls

Cloth calendars hung in the kitchen

Helping with dishes after a big homemade meal

Gone. Both are gone now. Grandma joined him finally today.

Perfect Moment Monday - Weekend

Moments from an average weekend:

Moments #1 & 2: He comes into our bed (it is 6:30 a.m. on a Sunday). He snuggles for a bit, but after a while it is obvious by his squirminess that he is up. I lay there surprised by the fact that his toes are wiggling at my ankles (how has he gotten so tall?). I enjoy an all around embrace from him and from my husband and we share this snuggle before the day (I am hoping to get more sleep however). Finally, he gets up. And I tell him to go read his book he is supposed to be reading for school. Husband and I try to lay back down and snuggle (I have bought us 1/2 hour more sleep). As we lay there, we hear shuffling and movement. Our cats are up and trying to get our attention so we will feed them. They run across our room. They stalk each other, as they climb onto our furniture, often pushing off various items, large and small, each crash or thud we cringe but try to keep asleep. After a huge crash of items fall down, my husband starts to get up, but I stop him--I am enjoying this time together and I ask that we ignore them for just a little longer. We snuggle, with his head upon my chest. And then the cats get all Snoopy-like-a-vulture. Gabby looking directly at us above our heads; Kif up on the amoire where he made such a loud noise just a few moments earlier. Staring directly at us. We don't budge. So then they play-fight right in front of us. Until one of them passes gas. Okay, okay--we are up! (As our son comes in after 15 minutes to tell us he hasn't been reading his book)

Moment #3: Girls night out, just my friend and I. We do this once a month, and we are both looking forward to it. So when the traffic causes us problems...we do not postpone or cancel. No, we call each other on our cell phones and we come up with another plan. Her plan is simple. She goes south on this particular road; I go north. We meet in the middle to go to whatever restaurant seems to be decent. Every so often, we call each other to talk of progress, the neighborhoods we are going through, our lives. She finds the place first (she had to drive further this time--I was stuck in a larger traffic jam). She describes it and I am not too hopeful, but I don't care, because we are going to have a good time anyways. Finally, thanks to our cell phones and GPS's we meet. And the restaurant is a great find--and we enjoy the time together.

Moment #4: She is wearing underwear, her first pair ever. A reward for going in the potty chair six times this weekend. It is the end of the night, but I am willing to let the day go a bit longer so that she can enjoy her new items (underwear AND new shoes--oh she is such a girly girl!) As I take a picture with my cell phone, I find it blurry and not that good. I debate about taking another--to find my husband pointing at the floor...yep, our first underwear accident has occurred! And it doesn't phase me (unfortunately, doesn't phase her too much either). A little later and its time for bed. Not wanting to fight (or fight the sudden momentum we have in potty training) she is wearing a second pair of underwear over her diaper tonight.

Show & Tell

Please stop over to participate!




Some pictures I took at the Harvard Natural History museum last weekend. Its been a year or so since we went and I think that Willow is especially at a great age for this museum. I think we will be making more treks out there this year.



Michael and Willow looking at a dinosaur...I always enjoy turning around the corner and finding this one--it takes up the whole wall and greets you as you enter the room.




Some of the taxidermed animals on display are showing their age (some are from the 1880s), but I think its part of the charm.




I just love walking around and seeing the animals just come at you...




Willow enjoyed seeing what was around every corner...

Lost Treasures

My cellphone broke. Actually, it is not broken, the window glass on the outside of my phone broke last week when I dropped it on the kitchen floor. As we got ready to transfer my data to my husband's old phone (which has been lying in the junk drawer for a couple years), we found a treasure of time....

Late fall of 2007--before becoming a big brother...

And then there was this...

Sometimes technology is great.

The Plan 2011 - January Update

I blame the snow.

Pretty much all plans were changed or cancelled, postponed or otherwise ripped to itty bitty shreds (kinda like snowflakes).

That being said, I did not totally lose hope--lost sleep and time, but not hope.

In the Health/Well-being department:

Well, I kept my morning exercise routine fine, and even diversified. However, we had trouble trying to get Willow down for bed at a decent time until recently. And my husband has been working insane hours. So, that night time Wii workout--kinda tangled up like the cords behind my television. However, I did lose 5 more pounds. To gain 2 back after being stuck at home with snow and eating comfort food...so, a net loss is a good thing, so we will say "Yay!" for that goal!

"Try to tone down the stress eating--find other outlets for getting rid of stress" HA, I say HA to this goal. Maybe this month!

In the Family Life Department:

"Ultimate goal is to spend more time with family; family work as team"

Well, nothing like snowstorm after snowstorm after snowstorm to pull the family together. And all and all I have been able to spend more quality time with each child. I am winning more battles than I am losing with Willow, who is a strong willed child. (P.S. Willow--um, just cuz you say "please" 5 bajillion times doesn't mean that that I can magically make gum/candy/juice boxes appear--if we are out, we are out...) More chores and responsibilities have been implemented with pretty decent success and I am feeling pretty good about this goal too.

Still working on the damned swearing...


In general, January was a hard month. Husband is working lots of hours and we have had lots of snow days. But, I am looking forward to this month with my son's birthday and with Total Con. And hopefully the snow will stop soon. (I'm tired of living in a world of snowforts)