How cool is this?

My first clothing buy for Willow:




Okay, Okay...that was really the second clothing buy...this was the first:





Yep, that's showing my sick AND my sweet side...

It's a GIRL!!!

We went to the U/S today, taking Michael with us. We had the technician tell Michael and he told me (although he wants to withhold telling dad until tonight--shh...dad already kinda figured it out). We could kinda tell from his look when the tech whispered it to him--that somewhat disappointed look, but yet okay look. When he took me into the hallway to tell me, he said "its a girl". And I asked him if he was okay with that. And he said he was...he's been switching between calling it a girl and calling it a boy for some time now, so while I know he wanted a brother, he is not upset with a sister. (Its still kinda intangible to him yet)

SO, our baby is a girl, her name will be Willow Leone ("Lee-own").

The rest of the ultrasound was very long and drawn out (Michael started getting bored). They were checking out all the vitals, brain, kidneys, etc. Michael at first was very interested in the mechanics of it all, even telling the technician to make sure to look at the bladder, etc. But the baby--SHE, was moving around a LOT and they had to keep me moving to different sides, etc. to get all the measurements they wanted. The end result -- everything is fine and dandy!

Michael has the ultrasound pictures (his teacher said he could bring them into school), so I will post them later.

Thankfulness

I have a lot to be thankful for (my health, my son, my husband, a roof over my head, etc.), but I needed to write down the things that I am most thankful for this year especially.

1. Medical science and the clinic that helped me and my husband achieve our goal. They were always so courteous and helpful, always willing to inform us when we asked our many many questions. Especially the bloodwork ladies who gently poked me many many times with many many needles.

2. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts for their policy of covering IVF and other infertility treatments. I am so thankful that for my 2 cycles, doctors appointments, many tests etc. I paid approximately $300.00. I cannot imagine going through these procedures with the added financial stress and burden.

3. The baby growing inside me. It has been so many years of trying, that even now, at 17 weeks, I sometimes cannot believe it is really growing inside me. And then it moves. And the wonderful popping corn motion feels me with such warmth and wonder.

4. The wonderful IF community in blogland. Without them, I would not have been able to deal with the terrible 2 week wait. To see their struggles, successes and failures made me more resolved (esp. after the first cycle went bust). It is wonderful that the internet has brought together such a wonderful community.

5. My husband, who went out and got me a piece of chocolate cake at 10 p.m. when I was depressed and weary and hormonal during the IVF cycle. Who babied me during the Egg Retrieval. Who held my hand during the Embryo Transfer. And now he is such a worry wart with the pregnancy, that he won't even let me lift a grocery bag!

6. My son, who is way too smart to not know what is going on, who has already told everyone in his class that we are not only pregnant, but that they used to call it a "Test Tube Baby". He will make such a wonderful big brother.

Vivid Dream

I had a vivid dream last night that won't leave me. I was in some non-descript somewhere. In between Michigan (where I grew up) and New England. All my family was there (including some people who are dead). Husband’s family too. And I might have been in a hospital, or not, although I recall an outdoors setting. A doctor came up to me and said “It’s all done. Everything is fine now.” And I said “What do you mean? What happened?” The doctor was saying that I had given birth, everything was all set. Did I want to see my child? I was stunned…more because I did not remember going into labor, did not remember giving birth—and I kept telling the dream doctor that.

But soon, they brought out my little baby—and it was a girl! And I was holding my baby girl! It was great and weird, like meeting someone for the first time, but yet, knowing that it was not real. Then, all the family members came around to look. And then I woke up.

Lots of this dream are totally untrue: 1) Most of the family members are going to be 800 miles away (as they were for the first one); 2) Dead people – duh! and 3) Painless childbirth – double duh!

But I do hope that the last one, the baby girl part, is true. Maybe its an omen?!

Well, hopefully, next Tuesday I will know….

80 - 90 --Almost there! More useless things about me!

Current Events - Top Ten Things

81. Felt the baby move for the first time on Sunday while driving home from errands. (Squee!)

82. Everyone in my household needs a HAIRCUT!!! And this morning, as I am pasteing down a collick on my son's hair, he asked if he could have sideburns. (Uh...that's a no!)

83. I want to do a family portrait, since its been a few years, but I am too lazy to set up an appointment to go to the photo shop, and now its almost time where I TOTALLY avoid the mall area (which is only an exit away from us). Hmm...maybe I can con, uh, ask, my brother (who's a decent photog to do it).

84. I have kept, for the last 4 years, an exel spreadsheet of gifts that I give (to whom, what I got them, how much it costs). I am down to buying for about 10 more people. And yet, I STILL forget someone! :-) (Usually the postman)

85. Doing this at lunch time at work. Found out something interesting--the two microwaves in the kitchen--don't try to use both of them at once--they short each other out. Took me 15 mins to cook two things for 5. (Yes, I kept leaving the room).

86. Re-reading Sarah Vowell's "Assassination Vacation" and using it as a guidebook for places I want to visit--(Hey, look, its pieces of Lincoln's skull!).

87. Tonight is my monthly scrap-booking night. I am just too tired, so I planned to go home and just veg with the husband (which considering he was in Montreal on business all last week, was a good idea). Now, it sounds like he is going to work late tonight, which means (a) I wouldn't have been able to go scrapbooking anyway and (b) I won't get to hang out with him tonight.

88. November 27th is my next Ultra-Sound. The one in which we may find out the sex! Bringing Michael along with us, despite it being a school day--its at 9 a.m., he won't miss much--And I can't wait!

89. I am SO craving Pumpkin Pie and Mashed Potatoes and TURKEY. (I have been very very good and not had mashed potatoes in a long time--the Pumpkin Pie--well, when fall officially arrived around the first of October, I did buy one--but, I haven't had one since then!!)

90. Its heavily raining outside right now. Hearing it on the roof of the building, brings me back to rainy mid-afternoons, napping with husband at my dorm room in college. (I need a nap!)

Nutritionist Is Nice

Had the Nutritionist appointment yesterday, and I feel a lot better about things. First off, she thinks I was pretty much on track with my weight, although now I do have to start watching it. Check! Second, she actually knew of and approved the diet I was using to lose weight before I was pregnant (Low Carb for Dummies--good, sensible book) and she wasn't all Atkins. Check!

She and I talked about a pregnancy diet that I (hopefully) can live with. Its not too bad, although I guess my cravings for sweets is definately going to be tested...but she offered some good advice for my chocoholism.

It's mainly a diet used for diabetic pregnancies, with carbs and proteins placed throughout the day (a concept which I am not totally familar with). The usual 6 small meals a day, eat when you are hungry, eat the right foods, etc. So, I hope that I can stick with it, esp. with the Holidays coming...

Next up, that yummy Glucose test next week!

Ten Things About Me Numbers 71 - 80 - Holidays

Continuing with the 100 things about me...

71. My favorite holiday is Christmas, although I would say that the commercialism does tarnish it a bit for me. While I am an athiest, I did grow up Roman Catholic, so I do have fond memories of churches decked out in red and green, and the beautiful music. But, what I mainly like about Christmas is the spirit of giving and good will towards man. I love watching my son's eyes light up when he comes downstairs and sees what Santa has brought. Also like the holiday specials, etc.

72. For Thanksgiving, our tradition is to make our pumpkin pie and other pie (husband does not like pumpkin pie since an unfortunate pie-eating contest, where pumpkin pie stayed in his beard and mustache FOREVER) in the morning. And pie is eaten for breakfast. My son LOVES this tradition.

73. Halloween is a big deal for my son, as seen on earlier posts. It is a favorite of mine, although more because I LOVE to indulge in horror movie watching.

74. During the X-Mas season, I traditionally make chocolate and peanut butter fudge from recipes of my Grammies. I make it in her honor, and usually give most of it away to co-workers, mailman, etc. (Mainly cuz I would eat it--its really good). This is a big thing for me, since I don't really cook that much.

75. On July 4th, we traditionally go to an amusement park in New Hampshire with our friend John. We stay all day, and go out to eat dinner and come back for the fireworks.

76. A clear New Year's memory for me was listening when I was 7 or 8 years old to my father playing in a dance band on the local radio station.

77. Another holiday I like is Hannukah. I like the history and story about the oil lasting 8 days. I like lighting the Menorah. It is peaceful and the colorful candles are very beautiful. I like making Potato Latke's for the first night of Hannukah and inviting friends over to celebrate.

78. I like Labor Day, for the non-labor we do. Usually we go on a long weekend to a beach town. Its a way to say good-bye to the summer.

79. I like that my son's birthday is near President's Day (Feb. 21). And my husband's birthday is on July 5th; and mine is Dec. 25th.

80. I liked the movie "Ground Hog's Day". Its a good movie.

Being overweight sucks...

Went to the OB today. It was my first meeting with my actual Doctor, and while I heard the heartbeat, it was not the best first meeting.

I have gained 14 lbs. so far with this pregnancy. Unfortunately, they (which I did not know until she said it today)wanted me to gain 15 lbs. for the WHOLE pregnancy. So, there...obesity at its best! And, I could tell by her look, that this tall, thin OB thought I was some cake pounding, sandwich scarfing fat woman.

I am disappointed in myself. I had started out so well, eating right (occasionally letting myself have a craving, but generally eating veggies and fruit, 6 small meals a day, etc.) and building up my exercise routine from my IVF/Transfer time back to my regular routine. I was feeling good, and I had gained only 5 lbs. Then I got sick and had the cellulitis. The last week and a half have not been stellar. I was basically on bedrest, couldn't make dinner (and husband can't cook), so we had a LOT of take out/fast food. I knew it was bad, but frankly, I was depressed, sick, tired and bored--not good combinations for eating correctly. No exercise, barely in veggies and good stuff...but, what could I do? And since Saturday, I have been back to building up the exercise AGAIN, and eating right AGAIN...but, there is that 14 lbs. already. ACK!

And here I should be happy because Tadpole is doing great. But, I am depressed.

And the thing that got me was that talking to the OB's assistant last appointment, I told her how I had lost all that weight, how I was so committed to trying not to gain so much weight during this pregnancy. And it was such a positive meeting with her. She even gave me the number to the nutritionist...who I get to see next week. This appointment with the OB tore down all that and made me feel like she thought I had no willpower and was some fat slob.

Ten More things...Books and Reading Edition

61. I love Dr. Seuss and love "One Fish Two Fish". I am not sure why, but I love it.

62. I love hearing my son read to me. It is such a wonderful feeling, and the thing that surprises me, it actually reminds me of being 8 years old myself. Ah, to discover reading again.

63. I was a part of an internet book club. It kinda died away now, but, I liked getting to explore books I would never have thought of.

64. I tend to gravitate towards non-fiction, although I try to alternate from non-fiction to fiction. The last book I read, "In Cold Blood" (a re-read).

65. We have too many books in our house, not enough book shelves...

66. One of my favorite authors is Charles Dickens. I love "Tale of Two Cities".

67. Another favorite author is Edgar Allen Poe; also Stephen King; Margret Atwood; David Hackett Fisher.

68. Some books on my Amazon wishlist:

What the Dead Know: A Novel by Laura Lippman

The Canon: A Whirligig Tour of the Beautiful Basics of Science
by Natalie Angier

Brothers: The Hidden History of the Kennedy Years by David Talbot

The Emperor's Children by Claire Messud

69. I have a pretty big Mad Magazine collection, as well as EC Comics.

70. I love nothing more than to curl up on the couch and read a good book. (esp. during the winter).

Some Great News...

Go drop in on Farah who just got some great news.

Boo! - Updated with Picture

So, we had a slight scare this morning. Light pink discharge! One rush to ultrasound and OB/GYN later...and everything is okay! Saw Tadpole move, saw the heartbeat. They could find nothing wrong, and as I write this the discharge seems to be gone. SO--geez, can this week get any more scarier?!?

The ONLY good news about this was that I was feeling worried about Tadpole since the whole having a temp and cellulitus stuff and now not only are we reassured Tadpole is doing good, BUT we got a REALLY nice picture of the baby.

Size of an African Country - Updated..

My Friday off was very productive--if one wants to get sick. I got a staph infection (who knew a scratch on the leg could do that). So I spent today at the doctor's and the hospital (baby is fine) AND having the Halloween party.

I have to go to a follow up appointment on Monday morning to make sure the antibiotic is working (They drew a line around the infection in marker--it looks like a country in Africa).

The party itself went without many hitches--husband did great, Uncle Will and his fiance Heather and Uncle John helped out.

All for now...I have to stay off my leg (which hurts like a bit*ch, by the way).

Update:

And it continues. At my appointment today, expected my doc to say "yes, its clearing up, look at you, not limping, etc." (which is true, btw). But, instead, she mentioned how she wants to make sure the anti-biotic is okay for the baby, wants to be extra cautious---and I am at home at least until Wednesday. I guess I should be happy she wants to be extra cautious for the baby's sake...however, she actually made me more scared for the baby because of how she said this....

BTW, its officially celluitis (don't click if you are squimish).

ACK.

Anyhow--I am at home, trying to stay off my leg, and worrying like crazy about Tadpole. (AND the house looks like a hurricane hit--the Halloween party--which DRIVES me crazy as I am a neat freak!!!) Husband is being great--but he is only able to do so much (he generally can't see dirt until it smothers him).

20 year old! I wish! - Updated with Pictures

Had my pre-screen ultra-sound for Downs and Trisomy 18/13. The ultra sound combined with the blood test will give you an idea on what your risks for these matters are. As I am 37 (well, almost 38), I felt it necessary to find out, so....

The test results came back the best they could possibly come back. My risk factor (based on my age): Downs - 1 in 140; Trisomy 1 in 247. My risk factor based on the prescreen - Downs - 1 in 2,781; Trisomy - 1 in 4,921. Basically within the range for a 20 year old woman. (So, I guess I have 20 year old ovaries!)

Okay, okay, big "Whew!" for that...but I know what you want---pictures of Tadpole! (But, guess what---you gonna have to wait--I am at work and don't have them with me!) HA!

I did get to see Tadpole bounce around and float, wave its arm and got to see its feet. All very inspiring, especially for someone who is only 3 inches!




The last photo, it looks like Tadpole might be sucking its thumb...

Halloween is a Coming...

Michael in his new costume.
Husband says I should clarify--he is not a Jawa! (He's an "Unknown Phantom")

Today I will be making Dragon Eyeballs (green grapes with raisins into them) -- you freeze them, and then put them in ginger ale and green sherbet mix. Then, Friday I will make a Jello Brain and skeleton head cupcakes. And there is tons of Bubble Wrap in my trunk. YEP, its time for that insanity called the Halloween Party! Next Saturday, I will have ten rambunctious children running around my house, while apples will be soaking in water for bobbing and spooky music will be playing. (Oh, and that broken up-ended pinball game husband was supposed to move out of my living room--still there. Maybe I will decorate it as a coffin??!)

Another Ten Things about me - TV Version

Yep, I am half way through 100 things...

51. I am a MSTie. I love MST 3K. We have a lot of the episodes on tape and DVD. http://www.mst3kinfo.com/mstfaq/basics.html

52. I am NOT into reality t.v. Although I can occassionally watch things like "Colonial House" on PBS. AND I did watch MTV's The Real World when I was in college (my favorite season was with Pedro). Generally though, I find these shows are a waste of brain matter.

53. I don't do American Idol either. Sorry, if I want to laugh at people who are not talented - I can sing in the mirror.

54. I was part of the Million Dollar Man club when I was a kid. Had the stickers, club documents and the Million Dollar man doll to prove it.

55. I LOVE Futurama! AND they are coming out with a new DVD movie!!! SQUEEE!

56. I watch a lot of Cartoon Network Adult Swim (Robot Chicken, Family Guy, Seaquest 2020, Etc). I also like Anime.

57. I like science fiction shows, which should be obvious by now. Right now, Battlestar Galatica is my favorite. I did watch the pilot for Bionic Woman (not sure what I think yet). I liked Heroes last season. Haven't seen it yet this season. (I tend to watch t.v. on a Tivo like schedule). My favorite all time science fiction shows: Babylon 5; Star Trek Old Generation; BSG; Buffy; Angel; Twilight Zone (old ones).

58. I also watch How I Met Your Mother. Because Barney is funny (and Allison Hannigan is in it).

59. If this baby is a girl, it will be named Willow (after Buffy character). (Don't know about boy names yet).

60. My indulgent grazing capabilities have found: The Food Network (which is funny, cuz I am not much of a cook) (!!) and I do like the occassional Dirty Jobs on Discovery Channel.

Got to go Early to the OB!

I had my first initial OB visit scheduled for next Thursday, but they called me last night and said they had a cancellation for TODAY. Sooo...I was so relieved to hear the heartbeat!!! And then I got all the litanies of blood tests, the paperwork, the going over of history, etc. etc. And a pap smear!?! (I don't recall that happening my last pregnancy!) I so like this office...it was a far different experience from the first time. That one, I went to a very big practice, mainly male docs. This is a smaller practice, I did not see one male person IN THE WHOLE OFFICE. (Nothing against men, but -- WOW!). It was so homey and friendly and nice and not like a typical Doc office. I haven't even met the OB yet (who I heard was GREAT by everyone I have talked to)...this was just the initial consult with the N.P. Very happy so far though...and relieved, too.

(Now, can I talk about the BIG jug I have to fill with 24 hours worth of pee?!?!?)

Oh, and I bought my first baby related item (could this actually be happening?)

Free Medications...

I hate having left-overs...half the time I keep things and no one eats them. They get thrown away anyway.

I have left over meds, so before I just throw them away, if anyone needs them, please leave your email in the comments, and I can contact you for your information on where to send. (I will ship them, no cost to you!)

This is what I got:

13 Progesterone Suppositories 100 MG (expires 1/25/08) REFRIG

Repronex 75IU - 5 single use vials (expires 3/29/08)

2 Gonal-F RFF Pens - 900IU/1.5 ml (expires 7/12/08) REFRIG

Leuprolide Acetate Injection (Lupron) - 14 Day Patient Administration Kit (expires 5/3/08)

I'll even include any extra needles I have! (Just ask)

Good-Bye Claudius

Our oldest pet died today. Claudius was a wonderfully fun pet. He would jump and climb on top of you. When we first got him in September 1995, he was 6 months old and had been called "Matty". We almost called him Darth Vader, but it just did not fit with such a cute cuddly chinchilla. He was our first higher maintenance pet (we had had Siberian Dwarf Hamsters named Tweety and Sylvester when we first married). He LOVED raisins and dustbaths. He was my first "baby". I used to go on chinchilla websites all the time for feeding and care, etc. For 4 years, he had the run of our apartments. We would let him (and later on Leeloo) run all over the apartment. When we moved to a house, they got the run of the upstairs. When Michael came into our lives, the chinchillas were not so sure about where they stood. Eventually, Michael was helping with them and Claudius was especially able to adapt to a small child running about.

I feel bad that the last couple years have been hard on him. Delenn, his daughter, died earlier this year. After that, we noticed he was loosing weight. But, just when we started worrying about him--he would be a spry old man, jumping out of his cage and bouncing around and immediately going into his dust bath. We did not play with him as much as we used to because of our preoccupation with the other aspects of our lives, and the fact that he really did not want to be out of his cage for very long anymore. I regret that. But I know that he died in a newly cleaned cage, with a full stomach (including two raisins I gave him yesterday morning).

We are no longer chinchilla owners.

Next 10 - Restaurant Edition

I live in the Boston area, which has a wonderful variety of eateries. Below are some of the restaurants I love to go to in and around Boston:

41. Kyoto Japanese Steak House. I like to get the chicken and shrimp with fried rice. They make it in front of you with a little "show". Its cute, but the main reason I go there--its really really good food.

42. Diva Indian Bistro I like the chicken curry and mango lassi. They have a great buffet.

43. Mandarin Reading I go here once a month or so to have lunch with a friend. They have a great buffet, which includes sushi. And their crab ragoons are to die for.

44. Legal Seafoods It was one of my first seafood experiences, and it has a special place in my heart. I love their Clam Chowder and their warm chocolate pudding.

45. Bonfire Steakhouse I have only went here once (on my anniversary). But I LOVED it, and hope to go again. The Spinach Parmesan was wonderful.

46. Lobster Pot There are really great places to eat on Cape Cod, and this is one we try to go to often. Great seafood and portions.

47. Ginza I like the fact that the waitresses dress in Kimono. The sushi is wonderful!

48. Persy's Place. Boasts one of the biggest breakfast menu's in New England.

49. Papa Razzi Nice chain for Italian. I like their spaghetti bolognese.

50. McKenney's Seafood in Falmouth, MA. They have great fried seafood.

Next 10: 31 - 40

31. I am surprised that I actually like exercising. I hated gym in school, although I did play in a few after school sports like field hockey and soccer. I have been dealing with my weight since puberty. But, I find I like exercise and how it makes me feel more physically fit--even when I don't lose weight. The past couple months have actually been trying for me since I have tried to "take it easy". I am much happier now that I have a pregnancy exercise video and I am easing into simple exercise again.

32. I would like to visit Europe someday. I have never been outside this country--other than Canada.

33. I was a tomboy when I was a girl. I am still not very femme. If this baby is a girl, I hope that she is a tomboy...although I will cringe and buy Walt Disney's Princess stuff if that is what she wants...

34. I played in the high school Marching Band--I played clarinet.

35. I like playing video games, we have an X-Box and a Wii. I like the Wii a lot!

36. We are members of the Museum of Fine Arts, Museum of Science and the Zoo. I love going to these places often.

37. I have thought of taking a bee keeping class. I just haven't done it because the class is about 2 hours away from our house, and usually held in February.

38. We go to gaming conventions, one in February, one in July. We play board games, role playing games, card games. I got involved with more strategy games when I was on 2 week bedrest during my last pregnancy.

39. I like taking "The Time Traveler's Wife" to read during our vacations to Cape Cod. Its become a tradition of sorts. I always say I will only read parts of it again, get sucked in, and end up finishing it while crying intensely.

40. I cry more at movies, etc. since having my son. Maybe permanent hormonal change?
:-)