Friday, October 15, 2010

The Meeting

The first one was horrific. My butterflies were gigantic, and I felt like I was to blame. Why could he not be "normal"? Why? What did I do wrong? Blame.Blame.Blame.

The second meeting was after some tests. By then I was more informed, but yet. There was guilt and worry. Maybe if he had a sibling? Why can we not provide this to him? What did we do wrong? Why could he not be "normal"?

A meeting with a doctor, more tests. Testing provided measurable proof of something that we knew in our guts was true.

But.

Meeting after meeting I became more aware of myself, of my son, of my family. Of factors that I could and could not control. Of laws and rules and medications. What is "normal" anyway? Are any of us truly "normal"?

And now today we have another meeting. This time with his middle school to discuss 504 accommodations. And while I still have the smallest feeling like I am going before a firing squad, I am in control and understand much more. I understand that this meeting is not about blame (there is none to place). I understand that we are his advocates, his voice in these proceedings. That what we say can provide his teachers tools in helping him in his day. This is a meeting to help my child. My wonderfully quirky, intelligent, frustrating, warm, kind, witty son. Each time at a meeting we get at least one person complimenting us on what a wonderful child he is.

And we are there to help him as we always have been. And while I don't think I have been the perfect mother, I do know that I am proud of him and know that I have and will keep doing whatever I can to help him become this wonderful young man that I see emerging.

7 comments:

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I love that change in attitude. I know it was a journey and everyone needs to get to that place on their own, but I'm so glad you've gotten there.

PaleMother said...

Liam has a 504. Hang in there. Here's hoping your meeting today is all positive and reassuring.

Miss K said...

What's a perfect mother, anyway? You love your child and you are willing to do whatever it takes to help and facilitate his education. That is best gift of all!!

Suzy, Not a Fertile Myrtle said...

I love how supportive you are of Michael. And he truly is a fantastic kid!!

Hoping you have a good meeting today.

(Erica) Rebel With.A.Cause said...

You are a great mom sweetie!!! I am sending you a big hug!! I miss ya!!

Christy said...

You really are doing a wonderful job as evidenced by your stories and pictures of Michael. I know that 504 meetings can be nerve-wracking . . . but I only know them from the teacher perspective. Yup, teachers are nervous for these meetings too! It's hard for teachers to tell parents of difficulties that children are having. However, teachers really need parent involvement and input because parents know the child the best. It's wonderful when all can work together as a team. I hope you all have a wonderful school year.

~Jess said...

Hope the meeting was a good one, laying the groundwork for an awesome school year!

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