Thoughts on a Rainy Day

As I drive to work in the rain. Thinking.

Thinking about her kiss last night. How open mouthed and sticky. How her personality is forming and shaping. She is still a baby in many ways, but she is becoming more independent and curious each day. She is becoming another. She is becoming my daughter. I still find it hard to believe that I have a daughter. The hopes and fears I have for her are endless. As is my love for her.

Looking at him the other night at bedtime. Sometimes I spend some time just looking at him. While he talks to me, as I listen, I look at his eyes, bright and shining. The curve of his mouth. He is getting taller, almost my height. He is sometimes so mysterious to me, this first born child. I understand him and yet we can be distant sometimes. But here, in his room, before he goes to sleep. We know each other’s heart. I read to him and I remember him younger than he is. I wonder who he is; what he will accomplish. I will never admit it to anyone, but he has a special place in my heart that no one else can go.