Microblog Monday - Glimpse of Life

For more MicroBlog Mondays, Click Here.

Sometimes I don't have time to write it down, sometimes it is too delicate to write about.  Sometimes I realize that my blog sits here and some of the more tough and touching moments are lost.

Here is a glimpse of life from yesterday in bullets:

• We went to a high school musical. It was not my son's high school.  (It will never be my son's high school)  We enjoyed the Music Man, I had that feeling of nostalgia and bittersweet.  I also was callus in my appraisal of the singers and sets, more than I thought I would be.  (Is this because I have gotten so old, or is it because I have been spoiled by so many professional theater productions?)  We had fun, but I felt a bitter taste in my mouth, as I remembered the productions in my high school (much better--is that reality or memory?)  and the remembrances of times past (going to my first high school musical with my Grammie--Carousel)

• Everyone goes off on their own when we get home.  The teenager upstairs in  his room.  The nearly seven year old plays with her toys.  I listen to the house (still lost in thoughts of the past and present)

• We have people over.  Technical issues with Skype/Google.  (we still try to cling to our Michigan connections...our friends we wish were closer)

• The Teenager has an issue with his computer notebook.  He gets frustrated.  He gets belligerent.  He cannot cope with his frustrations.  He is a teenager.  He has aspergers.  It proves to be an explosive combination tonight.  (Will he ever be able to deal with these frustrations appropriately? What can I do?  Why can't he be normal? The guilt over that last question haunts me.)  The explosion spills over to our company--we decide to reschedule our game.  (Things will be better--he will learn how to cope--I need to feel this and know that this is true--and I know logically it will be.  It will be.)

• Meanwhile, the seven year old has been obliviously watching The Book of Life.  She comes up to me and says that she will always remember me in her heart...even after I die.  (Really?  More mortality and bittersweet for the end of the day?) (So cute and profound...and so fleeting is my six, almost seven year old)

• Bedtime and all are asleep.  Except the anxious teenager, not upset anymore, just anxiety-ridden, restless.  He lays in our bed, I lay next to him and hug him.  

New Look...same circumstances

Went to the salon today to get a new look:

Me before.

Me after...yes, Willow HAD to get in the photo.  (She did not like the new hair color at first)

And...Willow took the phone...Hi Willow!

As usual, in our family, it seems that normalacy is extremely hard to maintain.  We are back on rollercoaster rides and I am getting very tired of them.  Why we cannot seem to get a break on certain things I am unsure.  I am happy that we have found a good school for Michael.  I am happy that Willow is reading anything and everything she encounters.  I just wish that we could get the rest of our life to stabilize.

How Can He Be Sixteen!?!

Given the last couple of years, it has been nice to see Michael start to be happy again.  The transition to a new school, meeting some new people and friends, he is finding new hobbies and interests  and obsessions.  He still is having issues dealing with his frustrations and how to relate to people (the very definition of a teen with High Functioning Aspergers), but as he has grown from fifteen to sixteen, there is maturity starting to show through again.

Besides the physical changes--he is taller than me, he is starting to sprout a very light hair growth on his upper lip...the maturity into a young man is most startling to me.

Sometimes I can see my son...sometimes I feel like I am seeing the future unfold before me. Sometimes I wonder what the future will hold for him.  He wants to go to college.  Academically, that is not an issue--socially...he needs to learn how to learn new skills that will help him cope.  This is the main reason for the new school.

Michael turned sixteen last Saturday.  Today we had his birthday party.  Here is to SIXTEEN!

Functional decoration

Detail of Michael's cake

Table cloth detail.

Ready for the party!

Michael's cake!

Birthday boy!

After the party...

Figurine...werewolf

Yummy cake, called lil' Monkey (banana cake with filing)

Yeesh! Enough with the Snow!

One of the reasons I like New England is the changes in seasons. I love summer, fall, winter and spring. They all have good things that they bring with them. But the last few winters...they have brought dread. 

And this winter started off so promising...and then...the SNOW CAME in WAVES. Fourth wave is coming tonight. We have not anywhere to put this snow. The streets and driveways are clogged and narrow. The subways and commuter rails are not running very well if at all. School snow days...we have had plenty!

And the cabin fever..is at MAXIUM, especially for Chewy.

We have Total Confusion next weekend, looking forward to being able to be in a hotel and do some gaming...and a swimming pool!

 Looking forward to Michael's birthday party...I have some surprises for him!

 If we can just get through this (fourth in four weeks) snowstorm...Chewy and I will celebrate the 25th anniversary of the day we met buy going out just the two of us to an italian steakhouse.

#Microblog Monday: Mush Mind

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.  The newest #Microblog Monday Post is here.


We have had a LOT of snow days here.  Unfortunately, because of work situations, both Chewy and I have had to work from home too.  Which means that while we would like to say that the snow days have been times for educational and informational play time and quality time (and there has been that, don't get me wrong--there has been the many hours of reading and quiet play time, the few hours of the younger one out playing in the snow, while the teenager naps, board games and heart to hearts, etc.), a good portion of the last few days have been television/movie related.

We decided a few weeks ago that we, as science fiction geeks, had been re-miss.  We had earlier poorly introduced Willow to Star Wars.  Poorly meaning we had her watch it, her four year old self did not care too much and was not enthusiastically joyful enough and we stopped there.

So. We started with the old Star Wars trilogy.  She warmed slowly to it, but finally was interested.  And life was good.  BUT, we have Michael, who has to complete the cycle.  So, we also watched the next three movies (even Phantom Menace, a not as bad experience as it once was).  Now the children are obsessed with Star Wars (again).

We finished those movies in record time, so of course...what to watch today, the millionth snow day in a row...why, about five bajillion Gillgan's Islands! A new obsession has been born (again).

Of course I looked to see if there was a mash up of some type...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nMZf2zN5eI

My brain is as mushy as the snow outside...please tell me normalcy (and school) will happen again....
btw....no school tomorrow...iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Snow and Summer

Lots of snow here and more snow to come...

So it is nice to see our time share week has been confirmed...

Ahh...being able to look at the resort and realize that the last week of June will be spent having fun in the sun...helps a lot.

Meanwhile, despite the snow, 2015 has started out pretty positive.  Michael is doing very well at his new school.  Chewy is working hard and getting praise for it (although a bit frazzled with the kids being around during the recent snow days).  Willow got a good progress report and she is progressing very well with her reading.

We have Total Con to look forward to at the end of February...

More importantly, Michael will be SIXTEEN on the 21st.  I have been planning a birthday party for him...even getting him a custom cake.  Universal Monsters will be the theme.

I hope that at some point he could maybe invite one of the kids from school...but we shall see (it may be too soon).

We have been having fun watching all the Star Wars movies with Willow.

We are all doing pretty well so far.

There and Gone and Going On...

It just struck me this evening...wow...Christmas is over.  Hannukah too.  And I am a year older.   The tree and decorations are packed back in our basement, some of the presents have made it into circulation...I am not even sure where they are anymore.  The only left over of the holidays is the extra gallon of egg nog that I bought because I felt that I hadn't had enough (Willow drank the last big of it).

THAT went by fast!

Michael's first week at the new school went very well.  His counselor sent a glowing email update regarding his classes:

"The History fair is in full swing and Michael is working diligently on his topic of Ancient Egypt.  He has been working a good amount of time on his paper and is just starting his powerpoint presentation.  His history teacher is stating that he is doing all of his classwork and has not had any homework because of the fair."

"In Science this week they partnered up and had science experiments on finalizing the chapter on evolution.  They worked on tying their thumbs back and did labs on picking things up without their thumbs."

It was nice to hear about his classes so specifically, and to also hear from the counselor that he was transitioning very well to this new school and situation.

Chewy is starting to get into a real groove with his new job and so 2015 is starting off with transitions and positives...I am hopeful that this year will be better!

The Simple Things...

Willow's list of things she wanted to do with me today (we have it off, but Dad and Michael have work and school):

1. Cuddles (10 mins or longer)
2. Tickle fight (10 mins)
3. Play with toys (10 mins)
4. (on the other side of the paper and added later) Bath Time!

A neighbor friend came over, wanting Willow to play--but she wanted to spend time with me.

(Heel of mother, who has a cold and merely wanted to rest all day....well, darn it...we have things to do!!)  (and we did 'em and more)

Love this girl.

Taking those pictures...

Taking those pictures...recording those moments, big and small...and sometimes putting those photos here...just because...they grow so quickly....

Santa came through on the music box!

And Santa knew that Frankenstein's monster and Dracula figures would put an oft-unseen smile on the teen's face!

Writing about her holiday show at school.

Putting together her first Lego set on her own.

Rapunzel's castle is starting to take shape!

Bathtub creativity...crayons from Santa.

The title of the work: Fairies in Zombie Dead World.

New PJs for X-mas!

Mom and Dad also can put a smile on this face!  

He looks like he is sleeping, but he is actually cuddling Kif there.

Pausing and Remembering

We are on the cusp of changes next year. Michael will be going to the new school and Chewy will be getting into the thick of things at his new job. But, as usual, this time of year and specifically this week are times of reflection and memory.

I find it weird and oh so human that we seem to have these specific times in the year that we permit ourselves to go so deeply into memories and melancholy. Why do I spend so much of my Christmas time going through various memories—not just of Christmases past but of other moments? Why not other times of the year?  (This could be because I also have the combination with my birthday, too.)

I slightly newer tradition with us (in the past 8 years or so) has been to light a remembrance candle for people we are missing during this time of year. Why does candle light comfort me? It is the same feeling I get from watching a river or the ocean, a calming reverence.

For Paul, Grandpa Michael, Grammie.  We miss you.

Getting older and watching my children grow up, some of those remembrances are of them as children versus my childhood.

I remember Michael at age 7, so excited for Santa Claus that he hopped into bed with us and was literally shaking with excitement. I stayed up with him until 3 a.m., trying to keep him from going downstairs to see what Santa had already left him.

This year, he was up late again, mostly from excitement again...partially being older and not wanting it to begin/end.  The same but different.

Willow is still at the age where there is wonder and song, excitement and imagination.  She drew a wonderful picture for Santa and left it with the eggnog, cookies and carrots (for the deer).

I started this post yesterday, Christmas Eve.  It is now Christmas Morning and I am officially a year older.  Pies are cooling, hot cocoa has been served, electronic devices all around...and finally put down for a bit.  

Still a bit reflective and missing the people who are not here in my life right now.  Missing extended family far and near...but also I feel warm and thankful.  

Being the main Santa here, my stocking was especially bare this year.  I am the gift giver...not especially the gift receiver.  But today...today I am happy that we are all happy and healthy.  That this year of challenges have been brought to very happy conclusions.  I am thankful.

Twirling...

"As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling  ..." - The Simpsons



We are slowly moving away from the weird limbo that our lives have been in for the past few months....but we are not quite there yet to the other side...and there are still obstacles in our way...


We toured a couple out-placement schools for Michael.  We liked both, but found one that seems to be a fit for him.  I am being overly cautious on this...it would be a very good fit, and I do not want to even mention how warm our reception was, how much they "got" our son.  Because I do not want to be heartbroken if, for whatever reasons, he doesn't not end up going there.  All I can say is that they took him into a couple class rooms and he was talking with other children and seemed welcome and was so happy.  Luckily, everyone agreed that he would fit there...enough so that he will spend two trial days there next week to see how it works out.  I cautiously hope that this leads to a transfer to this school.

Chewy starts his new adventure with a bang on Monday, by going to NYC for a few days for orientation.  He is excited and anxious, as one is with any new venture.  Gonna miss him, but glad it is the start of his job.

Willow lost another tooth AND has a cavity in a tooth in the back.  We will have to get that dealt with in the new year.  Also, apparently Michael had his vision tested at school...and, surprise, he is nearsighted like his parents! So glasses are probably in his future also.

The holidays.are here in full force too...we have Hanukkah starting this week (when Chewy is gone), so we are letting the kids open their first night of Hanukkah presents this weekend.  And tomorrow we are going to a breakfast with Santa.

My birthday is coming...feeling older and tired...a little wiser...unlike last year, I really want this year to be over already.

Santa wrote back!  

Olaf from Nonnie.  

Friends and Grammie's Fudge

Yesterday I bought the fixings to make Grammie's chocolate and peanut butter fudge.  My intention was to do our traditional baking before we had company over that evening.  But, time got away from me.  No problem, figured we would do it today instead (and when I am done with this post, Willow and I are going to make the peanut butter fudge).

Thing about traditions...something that I have learned the hard way...is that they sometimes need to be flexible.  Sometimes you cannot have it the same way you had the the year before and the year before that.  Sometimes, you find that if you are flexible...the tradition takes on more meaning.

So I found myself last night making Grammie's fudge with someone else's child.  The other kids were playing a video game or otherwise engaged, and she asked if I had any crafts to do.  (I just recently did a purge of that stuff...so, no...)  She also likes cooking and in fact, her mom had brought brownies to make...but she said she really wanted to learn how to make fudge!  She was so enthusiastic...I couldn't say no!  

Was it how I usually do it with my kids, Christmas music playing and all?  No.  But it was special and fun and I got to share my Grandmother with another...and I could not but think that my Grammie would have loved that I shared this with this little girl.

Besides, my daughter came in at the end...and they licked the pan.

All the kids loved the fudge...there is very little left.  (And the girl was not done there--she and her mom made the gluten free brownies too...oh yeah, we sugared up kids from 15 - 5 at 8 p.m.!!)

Which means...another batch will be made (with nuts this time!)

Yea for traditions and family and friends and fun!

Thank you, Grammie for the memories that keep on coming!

Thankful and Cautiously Optimistic

We seem to have faced a lot of transitional changes the past couple years.  Every time we try to stabilize and get to normal...we seem to have something happen to mess with that fragile stableness.

I understand there is the whole change thing that happens.  I am more than able to adapt to changes, but it seems that we haven't caught a lot of breaks when it comes to those changes...

So, we are on the brink of getting to the end of a couple of turbulent journeys...which are really new beginnings...new transitions...new chances to get to that "normal".

And while I am happy and hopeful...there is that part of me that just cannot believe that things will go smoothly.  Waiting for the other shoe to drop seems to be my go-to mind set.

Cautiously optimistic that Chewy's new job opportunity will grant him the rewards that he so deserves.  That this new job is one that we can all count on.  (And that he does not overwork himself in the process)

Cautiously optimistic that the school(s) we are hoping to place Michael in will provide him with not only academic challenges but more importantly, provide him a positive place to grow, learn and enjoy life and friends.

Both of these transitions are still in process.  Chewy has to go through a background check.  The schools still have to receive our referral package and we have to tour the schools, etc.

We are still in limbo...but there is hope that soon, that perhaps...2015 will be a better year for them and for our family as a whole.

And those are things I can be thankful for this holiday season.

First Microblog - My failure to really write anything

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

Sometimes it has been hard to find time to write here...sometimes I haven't been able to write what I wanted to write here...but I want to continue writing here. So...thought I would try to participate in Microblog Mondays for a bit!

Okay, I sat down in a quiet moment.  I was going to write about the stomach flu plague or Halloween or how time is going so quickly and its almost Thanksgiving. I was going to write and I even started a theme.  Then it became bullet points.

Then my son asked what I was doing.  And then my daughter wanted to know if she could have Ginger Ale even though it is close to her bedtime.  And one of the cats just walked across the keyboard.

So...I write nothing and everything.  My life is chaos sometimes.  But that is life.  And now I am going to live it.

At the late-night... double feature... picture show

It is after 1 a.m. on Halloween...oh, wait, it is now November 1st....

We had a good Halloween.  It was a bit...different...or the same...or...well...

Last year it started.  We have two children who are at different ages and stages in their lives.   And before last year, Halloween still meant going out together as a family, Trick or Treating.  In the neighborhood.  (Or sometimes in someone else's neighborhood).

But...last year started it.  Last year, my fourteen year old stayed home with his father and watched Horror Movies...while the girl and I went to a friends house and Trick or Treated with a group of friends.

And it was good...but separate.  But at least at the end we got back together and did our traditional look around some neighborhoods and their decorations.

This year.  Well, the separate has been more separate.  It was good...aside from costume malfunctions (wigs just aren't that easy to maintain if you are running all over the place!) and a bag explosion.  But, right now...Willow is asleep. And Michael and Brad went off to a midnight movie.  Its good.  It is nice that he is getting this experience.  But...separate and I kinda miss my husband and son.  I would rather be eating popcorn and watching a scary movie (I am a scaredy-cat--not doing it by myself!)

So, I am up a lot later (or earlier...I guess) than I normally would be...and I have not spent Halloween like I would normally.  I guess a new stage/era has begun.  No longer can I deny...my son is growing up...and our family dynamic is growing and changing with that.  I know Michael feels this too--he still went out Trick or Treating for a bit tonight...those last grasps at childhood.

Meanwhile...we got one who is making those childhood memories.

Getting ready to go out:

After the Tricks and Treats:

The Haul!

Chocolate!

Home again!