Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Past Times

As we deal with new normals, each of us have our new "past times".

After looking for employment, I spend my days running errands and going to scheduled classes for aqua aerobics or boxing.  I am especially enjoying the aqua zumba classes.

Meanwhile, Michael just finished his final exams today.  He doesn't have classes until September now. Giving him a week to relax and then he will be looking for a summer job.  The main focus is on him driving every day and getting ready to take his road test.  He is doing pretty well, but I am a little cautious on whether he will be ready for driving in the fall...

Willow and Michael are older children now, which means that there are times when they disappear in their rooms for hours and you are not sure what they are doing...sometimes it can be very surprising.  Michael often is creating or painting models.  Willow...well...

Willow came downstairs the other day, humming a song that sounded very familiar to me...and she let me know that she was listening to the Hamilton Soundtrack while playing video games on her Kindle.  She said "hey, I am really musical, you know!"  Which is true...she is still doing very well with her piano and singing classes!


Mother's Day was very nice this year, which was wonderful, as before the day both Willow and I were missing my mother.  I hadn't realized that Willow was feeling sad and missing her until it came up in her therapy session.  I was worried that I would be more sad on the day, but it was actually one of the best ones I have had in a while...so it made me happy and thankful for my family.

Willow and Michael have both enjoyed the warmer weather in the hammock.

One of Willow's costumes for her upcoming recital.

With others in her singing group (and their costumes--it was costume fitting day on Saturday)

Saturday--with her best friend Kayla...

Mother's Day breakfast -- Dad's french toast, scrambled eggs by Willow, Cocoa Puffs by Michael

A Card!!

Ice cream after Laser Tag!

Japanese Steakhouse--both kids sat next to me--and Michael Smiled!!  :-)

Wednesday, May 02, 2018


Recently: Not to soon after dad gets up for the day, she crawls into our bed and we cuddle and fall back asleep in the early morning/before getting alarm.  Suddenly, quickly, surprisingly, the feeling strikes me..the feeling of anticipatory loss...she is 10 now.  How many more cuddles are left?  She is my baby, my youngest child...and she is growing up.  I look at her beautiful, sleeping face and lightly resting body as it moves gently up and down as she breathes....and I feel the loss of my baby...and I wonder at the person she is becoming....

Ten. Ten Years Old.  We opened her Time Capsule that we made on her first birthday.  It was strange to see pictures of her and Michael...to see the cards sent by people to celebrate her 1st birthday.  I had all my blog posts printed regarding the IVF (she sailed past those papers to look at the bibs that I had saved from her first Christmas and Hanukkah).  

Willow at Ten...she is an interesting array of complexities.  She likes to be alone, she is silly and wants to be part of the group; she likes horror movies, yet doesn't always like to be scared.  She loves to read--but spends a bit too much time on her Kindle playing video games.  She loves being outside and running around; but sometimes she just wants to veg out and not get out of her pajamas all day.  She is very smart, but can sometimes ask the most naive questions.  She can play the piano and sing, but hates to practice.  She wants to be a doctor, but seems to shy away from science and math.  She likes drawing; hates coloring.  She is definitely NOT a morning person.  She LOVES chocolate.  

She is so much more than anything I can write here.  She is always surprising me with some new trait.

Ten years....seems so long ago and yet so quick. I cannot imagine my life without her.  

I cannot believe my luck to have such a wonderful human to watch grow.

BBQ for Birthday Dinner!

Thursday, April 19, 2018

More Serious Birthday Post Later....

Oh my---Willow had a wonderful birthday party weekend!

Saturday was busy as usual with piano and singing group--then she went painting with me and a group of other teens/tweens and their moms (part of a birthday present I gave her):

Ready to Paint!!

The instructor loved Willow's brush strokes.

Teens/Tweens and Moms Painting Day

Then, Sunday was her BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!  She had such fun!  Later she opened presents...(Haven't gotten her presents from us yet...waiting for her actual B-day for that...)

The sign at Dave and Busters!

The cake before it was totally, utterly mutilated...everyone wanted specific things...like parts of the tree, flowers, etc.  The cake was yummy too!!


Creative! Seems to be the theme!

Knitting readiness from Margo and Grandpa!

Thursday, April 12, 2018

You would think I would have more time to post....

Being unemployed has been a lot of things...but so far, boring has not been it.  Been trying to get into exercise routines and catch up on all sorts of maintenance (home, personal, other...) items as well as job hunt...and the fact that I have to pick Willow up at school at a certain time each day...makes the days go by very quickly.

I cannot believe it has been two months since I was laid off.  Sigh.

I have had several job interviews, but no offers yet.  Frankly, other than the financial strain that this causes, I am not too worried about it at the moment. If we did not have to pay taxes this year, and if we did not have to spend extra money on buying a "new" car (after the other car got squished and totaled by a tree)...we would be doing pretty good.  Right now...stressing a bit because of the extra money spent...but...we are doing what we can.

Meanwhile, Willow seems to be doing better emotionally--and while Michael seems to be having occasional anxiety attacks about college...we are all healthy and happy.

BUSY weekend ahead as my daughter approaches her 10th Birthday!  Birthday party on Sunday!

And, despite my extra time on my hands...no cake has been ordered yet!! 

Well...guess I will get right on it tomorrow!

Going to boxing yesterday...

Monday, March 12, 2018

Moving Along...

Last night I was talking to Willow and said wasn't it lucky that I got laid off at the right time to be able to be around for both you and Michael's winter breaks? 

Yes, getting laid off sucks. Yes, now we are struggling financially again. Yes, a tree fell and totaled one of our cars.  Yes, it sucks looking for another job when one is older....

But.  We have our health.  I have opportunities to spend extra time with my children, who are quickly growing up...even quicker than I thought they were last year or the year before.

And for the first time, they each had a different time that their schools had a week off.  Two weeks ago, Willow had time off from school.  This week, Michael has a week off.  Giving me a unique opportunity to spend time with each of them individually.

This lay off has also given me time to spend on my health and well being, which I have sorely been neglecting the last two-three years.  Going to aqua aerobics and boxing when I want to is such a wonderful thing!

So...while anxiety is high, and I won't lie--there has been and will be some sleepless nights of worry--I am making the best of it and moving along....

(Oh, and I have had two interviews--and another one this week...so...there is hope!) 

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Total Confusion 2018...


  • No one got sick!
  • Michael stayed in John's hotel room, giving him a taste of freedom, taste of having a room mate (we called it the bachelor hotel room) and he did GREAT (although, I barely saw him!)
  • Willow got to go swimming, found some little boys to play with at the pool (showing her brilliant imagination at the same time--she made up a game about mermaids, etc.)
  • Chewy got into not one, but TWO Andre games--
  • and was able to get me a spot for one also! So, I got to play in an Andre game this year--from 7 p.m. til 3 a.m....on Sunday, I was happy/exhausted!
  • Played a miniatures game with Willow--and found Michael at the table to play in the game too!
  • Willow had the main objective that had to be shuttled through the landscape (by water/land/air) to the end of the board...Willow is not a good person to keep secrets....which meant that...
  • ...we were shot at a lot and Warrior Princess Esmeralda (Willow) died a firey death out of a heli-giro...
  • In both role playing games I played--I was a fighter character (rare for me!) and one of them I got to bash the heck out of zombies with a hammer...(FUN!)

We went a day earlier, which made for a really fun time...it was nice to see old and new friends and all and all it was one of the best times we have had in a while!  Looking forward to next year....

Pool time!

Princess Hat from her favorite vendor--the face painter lady!

Selfie by the pool...

Warrior Princess on a boat.

I was too tired to do my Ticket to Ride (Gary Gygax Memorial run) so Chewy did...and lost...spectacularly...he is the blue trains..

1st day--Breakfast...theme was Pirates this year...I bought everyone eye patches...no one wanted to wear 'em!
Michael, (another player), Willow and I playing the miniatures game...

Willow can't keep secrets (she has the prize that everyone is looking for...she has to get it from where she is to the other end of the table...where the photographer is...)

Chewy came by to see...

Michael moved an armored car to the docks...

Making his move...with miniatures, it includes dice and tape measures...

Thursday, February 22, 2018

More things Change...

Lots of changes here at the moment...as I was laid off from my position last Friday because business was slow...

Silver lining is I was available to be there for Willow this week during her school vacation. 

Wednesday was Michael's 19th Birthday, which was celebrated so low key that one would barely know that his father and me were exchanging memories through out the day of the day 19 years ago that made us parents....

Random CUTE picture!

Random picture of the fleeting teen/young man...

Meanwhile, while everything is changing and in flux...there is still-- TOTAL CON!

Bags are mostly packed, waiting for Chewy to come home...and off we go...to forget, for a bit, the struggles of daily life--and fight for our lives against monsters, zombies, random trains and diabolical cults...

Past Times

As we deal with new normals, each of us have our new "past times". After looking for employment, I spend my days running errands...