Music Time Machine

Another concert at another time. We sat way back and I had to bring him up to the stage area. A mosh pit of 4 year olds. Songs that were new in the air and he and I jump around to the music. I let him go and he jumps in with the other four year olds. And I watch as he enjoys the music, the people on stage.

We are here again. This time we are in the front row. His lanky body barely is contained in the seat. We watch as they take the stage. New songs are played. Old songs are played too. Now the mosh pit is mostly a dancing ring of girls right in front of us. She is reluctant to join in, even though at home she would be jumping and running around by now. I try to coax her a bit...but notice she is just watching with wonder at the players on stage(and eating popcorn).

By the end of the concert, they start to play a couple of oldies but goodies. The almost four year old coaxes her brother out to dance among the children and grown ups in front of the stage. In front of us. He is awkward and reluctant, so different from when I last saw him dance to this exact tune. But I saw that glimmer of recognition in his face and I see how he plays with her. And finally she finds her rhythm and she lets him go ahead and sit back down while she jumps with the others. (In fact we loose her for a bit--my heart thumping for a bit when we cannot find her in the throng of children jumping/dancing about).

They sing a good-bye song at the end and walk to in front of the stage. People mob them for autographs. I almost take my son and daughter up to acknowledge the time that has flown by; that at one point my son was the small boy that he noted had cool sun glasses at a small concert a long time ago and now we are bringing my daughter too. However, the crushing of people, the fact that my son is a teenager and wants to "leave already" makes me forget that small minded plan.

We leave and go have burgers at a specialty burger place--dad has a burger with bananas and peanut butter on it; she has macaroni bites that she doesn't like...and I wonder what the next concert will bring.

Bringing me Back...

Went to see Hugo today. It was a strange experience in a lot of ways.  Co-incidence is part of the theme in this movie based on the book.

Coincidentally, I had looked at that book a while ago, trying to find a book for my son to read for his school's reading program.  I passed up on it because it was a graphic novel, and would not have within the requirements for the reading program.  I thought upon it and put it in the back of my head as something that would be interesting to read or have him read at some point.

I made no connection at first with the new Sc.orsese film, partially because I have kind of gotten tired of his films lately.  During the holidays I really did not notice it, only in passing.


Finally, made a connection to it this past weekend after watching a news program that talked about it and automatons.  


We all wanted to go.  We decided because we were going to be taking Willow along and she doesn't do so well at 3D pictures, we were going to the 2D and going to a dining theater.


And then Chewy got sick.  So, he stayed home with Willow.


My son and I went (my one regret is that by the time we realized it was just us--it was too late to go to the 3D showing).


My son, who is about the same age I was when I became transfixed by film.  When I was 11-12 years old--all I wanted to do was to learn all about films and film making.   Science fiction and fantasy with films.  Here I was with my almost 13 year old son, watching a movie about early films and film-making.  About fantasy and automatons.  About making dreams.


It was a bit surreal.  


I wondered what the old/young me would think about this future/old me.  I know I could have little imagined the amazing child I was sharing this experience with.  And I know that the present me has little idea what goes on in his mind.  What dreams he has.  What his future self will be.


But I am looking forward to finding out.

Pick Yourself Up

THIS.

Chopstick Action

Today Chewy worked 1/2 day and we went out for lunch at a favorite sushi restaurant.

Willow tagged along and she was exceptional.  She had some noodles and it was with pretty great skill that she ate them with chopsticks.  She worked and concentrated so hard.  We even offered her a fork.  She refused and went to work.

With wonder I watched how maturely she worked at this.  It struck me at how all these things I take for granted--she has had to learn them.  And is still learning them.  How much determination and how many times children fail.  But yet keep trying.  And succeed.

I think I needed to see that.  To be reminded.


 

Mood Lifter

Driving Chewy into Boston this morning.  He likes it when I can...we have some extra time to just be together.  Today we talked about the newest Buffy comics.  They are considered canonical to the series as Joss Whedon has written them.  So "officially" they are Seasons 8 and 9.  We talk about the good, bad and not so bad...Season 8 seemed to derail towards the end. Then we talk about other things.

And then he has to take a conference call from work.  He tells them he is almost there (a lie--we are stuck in traffic!)

Then, after his call, Willow wants music.  And we all listen contentedly to the Beatles as the traffic clears.  Looking back I see her grooving to the songs...and I smile.

Little Bit Nervous - UPDATED

About a month ago, a friend and I were talking about the problem of finding friends for Michael.  He is introverted, quirky and his social issues cause him to often be by himself.  Or he finds just "one" friend that he likes--and it seems our luck is that then they move away.

She suggested that maybe there was a MeetUp group that we could join.  Something for geeky kids to play and do things that he likes to do (like video games, D&D, board games).  And it struck me as a "duh!" moment--like, why did I not think of that sooner.  That night I went on-line. There was Nada, zip.  Nothing for a quirky kid like mine (or even a quirky family like mine).

So I went out of my comfort zone and MADE a group. I called it Quirky Kids MeetUp, put the description out there (essentially, playgroup for ADHD/socially impaired kids).  And I figured I would be throwing away $20 for the posting.

I still may be.  But tonight at 7 p.m. I scheduled the first Meet Up at Panera Bread.  My son and I will be there with his Heroica set and pastries.  There are actually a few people who have signed up to meet us there.

I am nervous (I hate small talk, I am introverted, this is totally not something I want to do, I would rather have my more extroverted husband do the talking--but he is going to be home with the distraction, um, preschooler).  But I want my son to not only see how to make connections with people, but also maybe actually make a connection or two himself.

I hope this turns out to be the first of many meetings/outings.  But even if it is the only one--I feel happy that I   went out of my comfort zone and tried to make this happen.

UPDATED:

The meeting went better than I could have expected!  People came out despite some snowy roads.  The children were very good; and I hope that we can do another MeetUp soon.

SOPA Protest - Free Advice (Random)

Mel had the idea that instead of shutting down in order to protest SOPA, we should share our best advice instead, to really focus on the wonderful things about the internet that we would have the potential to lose if SOPA passed.

• Don't hide behind the camera.  This is one that took me a long time to realize.  While it is important to get those wonderful milestones/memories...don't let them pass you by while you are recording them.  There have been times that I have enjoyed the event/celebration so much more because I choose to participate rather than record.  

• Children thrive when you give them enriching adventures in diversity.  Yes, take them to the museum and the zoo.  But also take them to a theatrical show, plays, dances, go to celebrations of the Chinese New Year.  Find things that are adventures not just for them, but for you. (My children have seen Chinese Acrobats, Drummers from Africa, Silent Movies with musicians playing, etc.)

• Crockpots are awesome! Anything that can make your time more free for your family and yourself--it is worth it.

• Reading is the single most important thing you can do.  It is the most important thing to teach your children--to enjoy Reading.

Chores

I ask him to come in the kitchen and help me with dinner.  Because the next time we make this dish--I want him to do it on his own.  He peels the potatoes and we talk about the chemistry of onions.  I show him how to cut the potatoes and then I tell him to put some black pepper on it.  And he opens the wrong side of the pepper--and a WHOLE bunch of pepper spills out on a portion of the casserole.  I am not upset, in fact, I stifle a laugh. I clean it up best I can.  He covers it and puts it into the oven.  The satisfied grin on his face is the only indication I receive, but it is enough.  I cannot wait to have him make this meal on his own.

(Dad takes the slightly over peppered chicken breast.) 

She likes to help too.  Today I am putting the dishes into the dishwasher.  She comes up to me and asks to help.  Gently, I show her how to put the dishes into the machine.  She helps with the utensils and puts the 

liquid in, shuts the dishwasher.  Pushes the buttons.

Both these chores are things that I could do easier without them.  But it is great to share with them these activities.  Yes, they are taught these chores...but I am also taught patience and care.

Sometimes it is good that I remember that, as there are too many times I think that I am in such a rush to get these things done...that I forget these lessons.

Had an interview...

on a cold rainy day. The first job (non-staffing agency) interview since the day before Thanksgiving.

Half way through the interview she told me that it was all about timing. It was a good interview. She saw that I was qualified on so many levels. I did well and she "got" me. So well that she knew this was not the position for me. Halfway through, she told me so.

But we continued our pleasant conversation about the job market, job expectations and reality television (we both hate them). I left...well, a little dissapointed that I did not get the job...but, I felt that I am working toward my goal.

Its all in the timing.

Pressing Reset...

I think that right now I have pressed a "Reset" button to get 2012 started in the right frame of mind.

While my job hunt hasn't been at all bad (I have had interviews and callbacks, etc.) by December I was feeling kinda frustrated and annoyed. I have already redrafted my resume and made call backs to staffing agencies.

Other stresses were starting to wear me down. Certain things that I had resolved to do while I was gainfully unemployed--well, they kinda got forgotten or set aside, or downright abandoned.

So, this week I have taken the time to revitalize and regenerate. Time to get back to trying to paint the upstairs bathroom (well, so far this has been a resolution that I haven't totally embraced--I find this task more daunting, and time consuming, than I thought).   I have taken the time to read some books from the library, get moving on my Wii and learn some programming.

I think that while I started off my unemployment with the noble goals above, as well as goals to spend meaningful time with the children...by the time school started, and Chewy went off to Romania, I think I/we got off track.

I think that this New Year thing may actually have something to it.  I feel the need to renew finally.

Again to the Mall?

Something that helps me deal with the Blahs--going out and doing something invigorating! Going to a museum, walking a nature trail...going to the mall (?) Well, this weekend was a mixture of that.

Saturday was really quite fun. We met with a friend and had some wonderful Dim Sum. And then she suggested a nice nature walk. It was a surprise walk, because the place she suggested, we had never been to. And she did not realize that it had just been opened up to people with dogs. So, we entered a WORLD of dogs while we were out on a 50 degree day in January. Muddy shoes and lots of licks by dogs of all shapes and sizes. FUN!

And then there was Sunday. Chewy had plans with some gamers. And I was desperate to do SOMETHING to get out of the house with the kids. But I had run out of ideas and energy to deal with anything too high end. Michael had an idea. An obsessive idea. Santa had gotten Michael a Heroica Lego game set. And it has expansion packs. And he needed ONE MORE set and he would not stop talking about how he was itching to spend some of his money for a set and could we go to the Lego Store? Which could only mean--going to the MALL. 

So, I found myself in one of my least favorite places with the kids. Being the mom--I figured out a way to make this work towards a fun day. We got Legos.

We went to the play area near the food court. Where Michael speculated that why Willow sometimes says she does not like certain kids at preschool...is that she is BOSSY (Gasp!!). There were a lot of kids in the little play area. Sometimes it is good to have a big brother to help you get to sit in the front seat of the plastic car.

After that, we exchanged too small of slippers for bigger sized ones and Willow got Lip Gloss(!) with our gift card from Uncle John.  Finally, we ate at a fun restaurant and had shakes and burgers.

Later, as we talked over our days in bed, just as my eyes were ready to close...my husband told me that my son said "We spent too much time at the mall today."

Yep.

Blahs

Talkin' to myself and feeling old. Sometimes I'd like to quit; Nothing ever seems to fit; Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown; Rainy days and Mondays always get me down 


What I've got they used to call the blues: Nothin' is really wrong; Feelin' like I don't belong; Walkin' around, some kind of lonely clown; Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
 -- Rainy Days and Mondays by Songwriters: Roger Nichols, Paul Williams

The end of summer started to bring it on.  The fall usually would cheer me up but this year all I could think about was the coming winter and the ending summer.  The holidays...well, they brought their own baggage, good and bad in its own nostalgic glory.

So here I am.  Talking to myself and feeling old.

Feeling a bit isolated and timid about the new year.  And sometimes I would like to quit.

I think I have the winter "blahs".  Which is funny because we haven't had any snow yet.  Or maybe that is the problem.  The anticipation of the snow.

Like the anticipation of the job interview.  Or the anticipation of changes, big and small in our world.

Just before Christmas I found out our longtime neighbors (they were here before we were) are finally moving (they have been talking about moving for years now).  These are the neighbors who have boys around Michael's age.  The kid who walks into our house unannounced...will not be anymore.  The good news...well, they are not moving far away, just across town--so, one of my big concerns about Michael having this friend, is not so bad--just requires a bit more planning.

But, this comes at a time where we have been debating about our own move.  Like them, we did not think we would be in this house as long as we have been.  And now...well, now we feel like our hands have been forced to start the long process of evaluating our house, getting it ready to be sold, etc.  (Doesn't help that they haven't actually sold their house yet...)

"This couldn't come at a worse time" is a phrase that pops into my head a lot these days.

So many changes and non-changes.  So many things are up in the air right now.  And I feel, well sometimes I feel...alone.

I guess that is why they call them the Blues.

Haircut

Last week I took the kids to get their hair cut.

Normally, Willow has been unwilling to sit for haircuts.  Sometimes she has sat on my lap or her dad's lap.  Most times she has been squirmy.

After the GLUE incident...she got it in her mind that haircuts HURT.  So, this last time was a surprise to see how calmly she sat (on her own) for the cut.   Not only did she sit by herself without fuss--but she actually let the hairdresser STYLE it. She was such a big girl!

And I had a view of both kids getting their hair trimmed--I could not resist the chance to capture it...

Back in the Saddle

Tomorrow starts the "back to normal". Which is funny because the "back to normal" usually meant me going back to work. And right now...it means I have plans to take Willow to Ch.uck E. Chee.se tomorrow.

And there are other routines that are going to be added/changed. After school tomorrow I am taking Michael to a Social Skills Group. Four other boys in his age group with two counselors to help them learn how to pick up social cues and interact socially. This will be instead of behavioral therapy, once a week. 

Also, Chewy has agreed to have a written schedule to try and control his out-of-control work schedule. Because he is driving us all insane with his working-all-the-time gig. (On that note, it was nice that Chewy took this past week off for the holidays! We (meaning me and Michael) finally enjoyed watching the Walking Dead and we got some solid quality time with him.)

And me--well, I am back on the trail for a job. I have a staffing agency interview in Boston on Wednesday. A job interview next Thursday. I have revised my resume once again and put it online.

Did this vacation/holiday break refresh me? Hardly. I was (and still am a little) sick most of December (mostly head/sinus/throat issues). There has been some harsh reality checks and discussions and there has been some sleepless nights.

But I am hopeful that we can start this new year off with better footing and a better grasp at what needs to be done this year. I am hopeful that I will have a job soon.

And while I wouldn't mind a little more sleep--I am ready for the tasks ahead. So, 2012...Bring It!

Talking Tina, Buffy and Botana

New Years Traditions old and new.

Last night Chewy had his annual New Year's Gaming night. To go along with our latest Buffy obsessions, a Buffy RPG (Role Playing Game) was played. Michael got to play as Spike. I was to play Cordelia, but the game ended early due to various interruptions. It was still a fun night with friends.

I made sure to make our annual Botana for New Years. I am actually making another one tomorrow.

And then there is the Twil.ight Z.one Marathon. Such a tradition in our house. Even though Chewy and I know almost every episode. Even though Michael knows a lot of them. Even though we have a lot of the seasons on DVD. We watch. Not all of the marathon. But we check in and we say "Oh, it's the Talking Tina one! Or the Obsolete Man!" And there we are watching it. It has been so fun to have this tradition with Michael.

And then today...a tradition I hope can continue. Going over to a friend's house and hanging out with them, enjoying their company as they declared "Open House" for their friends with children. It was so fun to know that our kids were going to be occupied while we got to hang out with the adults. (Well, most of them...we do have an in-between-ager--so he was not always so amused).

Now, back to some black and white television...

Glimpses of Christmas Morning...

Surprise!

So, Chewy did the almost impossible and was able to surprise me with a Birthday Dinner last night.

We went to a Japanese Steakhouse (which is our tradition on Christmas Eve) for a birthday dinner. I was thinking it was a bit early (3 p.m.) for a dinner, but that was when he had it scheduled. Little did I know it was so that everyone could coordinate to be there! I was surprised to see family and friends there to greet us!

A great time was had by all!

Everyone awaiting the food!

Fire!!

I love Willow's reaction to the fire...

Willow just being cute...

Getting sake poured down my throat was not exactly what I thought I would be doing that night...

And then....my friend Ana surprised me with a PERFECT Cake for me!!

Yay, Zombie Cake!!

With chocolate hands and worms and eyeballs!!

I LIKE IT!

Willow was also impressed!

Michael wanted a hand!

Willow eating an eyeball!

Photo from HERE. (Hmmm...I will have to look into this for next year!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS to Everyone from our house to yours!!!

Pre-School Gift

What I love about getting gifts from Preschool....

I love that especially in Pre-school, the care givers know how important the little trinkets are, especially with their photo on them! It is so nice to have this keepsake, with the date, her picture--and those cute little hands!

Willow is off Pre-school until Wednesday. Right now we are having yet another viewing of Rudolph (her favorite x-mas character/story so far)--so appropriate, considering the frame above. Before then, we played a "Hello Kitty" Matching Game that Ana gave her as a present last night. (We liked playing it a lot!)

Let the Latkes Begin!

Our first night of Hanukkah Latke Dinner was postponed by one day because of Michael's holiday concert at school.

So, tonight, the second night of Hanukkah, we had some friends over and had a great time making latkes and enjoying the Hanukkah lights. Ana came by with a couple of her furry pals.  Willow enjoyed playing with Rykka and Jule, German Shepards that she has known all her life.  Our friends Paul and John rounded out our table.

We had apples and caramel dipping sauce, LATKES, pot roast and vegetable medley. Some jellied filled pastries and gelt finished the meal. It was fun, especially when Ana took over the latke making part--she did a great job!  (Meanwhile, I left a plastic spatula in hot oil--and fried a spatula to death!)

After dinner, we had a game of Driedal.  Michael won (which is only fair, as the children usually get all the Gelt anyways!)

Willow has a sweet tooth like you would never believe.  As soon as she got home she wanted chocolate from the advent calendar.  After she was diverted, she was fine--until she saw those Gelts!  She had a little fit about having them before the game had started...but in the end, she did indeed get two of them.

Everyone had tons of latkes and plenty of fun!

I am so glad we do this tradition, it is so much fun to share in the holiday spirit.

Angel Chimes - Updated

I remember them very well. My Grammie would bring them out during the holidays and as I got older, she would let me help her set them up and light them. Each and every time they were lit, I would be entranced with the spinning angels and the bell chimes. I loved watching the patterns of the metal and light on the ceiling, dancing light. And then, when it was time for birthday cake--she would switch the angels out with dancing clowns with a horse on top.

I remember them and yet I have no idea why I haven't bought any until now. You would think I would have wanted to have this tradition as soon as I had my own family. But somehow I think it was HER tradition for so long...that I could not bring myself to make them mine.

This year, I felt the need for them.  I bought a cheap set--I have no idea if they will last this season.  At least they come with the clowns, so I hope to bring them out for birthdays, just as she did.

This evening, we had them burning while we ate dinner.  And Willow noticed the patterns of metal and light spinning on the ceiling.  The children sat eating their dinner and watching the patterns and listening to the chimes.

Later, after they had jostled each other for the honor of blowing out the candles, after they left the room to watch a Christmas cartoon...my husband and I re-lit the candles.  And I watched the angels spin.

UPDATED: For those interested in getting your own angel chimes, I found this cheap set at on-line at Miles Kimballs (Ama.zon also has them). My Grammie's set was quite well made, not sure where she got it from. The chimes are a Swedish tradition.

20 Questions - Christmas Style

20(ish) Questions - Christmas Style
I am stealing sharing this from from Kristen...feel free to also steal share


1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?  I prefer wrapping paper, although I am not the best wrapper.  Bags are good for big presents though.

2. Real tree or Artificial?  Artificial.  I can have it around longer, I have a Black Thumb and I don't need more chaos in my life.  So, the nice hinged tree unfolds and I am happy.


3. When do you put up the tree?  Per my family's tradition, the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  Originally, when I was a girl, this was a practical choice.  Now, it is the tradition.


4. When do you take the tree down? Per family tradition, on New Year's Day.

5. Do you like eggnog? I am the only one in our family that does.  I LOVE it, and especially like making french toast with it.  Yum!

6. Favorite gift received as a child?  Kinda hard to pick one...I remember the Barbie Townhouse, the Barbie convertible, the race track...and numerous bikes!

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Nope.


8. Hardest person to buy for?  My mom.


9. Easiest person to buy for? The kids.  It is hard for me to not overbuy for them.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Email sounds so tacky...does anyone really do that?  Snail mail!


11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I don't really have one.  I have had some that I was not as thrilled with when I received them...and then later on found them very useful.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? That is a toughie!  I love the George C. Scott "A Christmas Carol" and I also love "Its a Wonderful Life" and "White Christmas".

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Generally in September/October.


14. Ever recycled a Christmas present? Yep.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Grammie's fudge; candies; homemade goodies; chocolate covered cherries; pumpkin pie, turkey.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Was going to do clear lights this year for a change, but son would not have any of that!  So, colored and blinking it is!

 17. Favorite Christmas song? I love a lot of songs during Christmas...it is hard for me to come up with just one...I like the traditional ones I grew up hearing, but I also like these songs because they share a universal message of peace and love that I especially find joyful.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? When we were younger we did travel to Michigan to see our family; but with our children it is more practical (and fair for them) to stay at home.  We always welcome others to visit us!


19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yes, as should you.  But do you recall, the most famous reindeer of all?!  Rudolph is a BIG hit with Willow.

 20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Santa Hat!  Although Willow seems to want a star.  I suppose we could find a Star of David?

 21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Because of my birthday, we open presents on Christmas Eve; Christmas Morning is for Santa presents and Christmas day is for Birthday cake with dinner!

  22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? I get annoyed when the music and the decorations start in the beginning of November.

  23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color? I don't have a theme, per say, although Snowmen are a close proximity of a theme.  We also have a lot of personal ornaments that mean more to us than whether or not they fit a theme.

  24. What do you want for Christmas this year?  Well, officially, for my birthday, I want a new digital camera.  But for Christmas--I just would like a promise that the new year will be better than the old...

Five More Days; Ten More Days...

It seems that the older I get, the quicker the seasons seem to go...the faster the holidays approach and then they are gone.

I was surprised with Halloween and then totally lost track of time with Thanksgiving.

And now, as the kids opened their chocolate Advent calendars today...the rhyme mentioned that there are only ten more days until Christmas.

There are only five more days until the start of Hanukkah.

I have all the presents and the decorations, I have listened to many a holiday song...haven't gotten to viewing all our favorite movies/shows but we are working on them. (Yesterday, Michael and I watched the MST3K Santa Claus--it was hillarious as ever--picture me laughing and then coughing and then laughing some more)

But I still don't feel ready for the holidays! Maybe part of that is because I don't have all the food items yet...maybe. Or maybe it just has been sneaking up to me again. I always think I have more time than I do.

Ah, well. The season is upon us...really really.

General Chaos--with Sore Throated Goodness!

It started Wednesday night. I thought it was a cold. Seemed to get better. Although almost called off a babysitter on Thursday because I was still feeling kinda "eh". Sore throat on and off this weekend. ALMOST went to the doctors on Friday, but thought I was feeling better...and now it is Sunday night and I am still with sore throat. So, I guess tomorrow I will be going to the doctor's office. I assume I have strep. Ugh.

The weekend was a bit off because when I am the sick one, all organization and planning goes to hell. But things still needed to be done. The kids needed to be out of house on Friday evening for daddy to do some work. So, off we went on a planned outing to see the holiday lights at the zoo. It was really fun to go to the zoo, see the animals, see the lights, etc. Willow especially had a great time seeing the little holiday displays.

Saturday I plunged into things that needed to be done and a lunch that I already had planned with a friend. And Chewy took the kids to one of their favorite places--Chuck E. Cheese!

Today, I just was not up for much, so we stuck close to home. We watched a holiday movie in the morning, went to a nursery and saw all their Christmas Trees on display.

Then in the evening...Willow went to her first child friend Birthday party! It was at a local bouncy place and they had pizza and cake (DIEGO!! So, Willow was thrilled) She would not stop talking about the party and her friends from Preschool who were there. I think she is ready for a full fledged party this April (probably at Chuck E. Cheese)!

While she was at the party with Chewy, Michael and I went to the store to buy his holiday gifts for people. He was a bit hyper tonight, so getting him to stay focused in the toy section was hard. And he at first chose to find the most annoying and loud toys possible for Willow--luckily they were not in the budget I had allowed him. He ended up buying something really nice for her--and it came by accident. He had already picked out something for her and we were in the checkout. And he saw these tall Robot toys. And he pointed out that that was what he really would like to buy her, but "too bad she is not a boy". We looked at it further, and I really think she will like it--so, I said "hey, why not?" and he agreed. So, she is getting a robot toy from her brother for Christmas. (Robots seemed to be a theme--he bought someone else Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots).

(He hasn't bought my gift yet--he wants it to be a surprise--but I did point out to him some DVDs that are coming out soon that I wouldn't mind getting...)

The evening ended with Michael getting to bounce along with his sister, and the family getting to have some birthday pizza and cake for dinner. Then home and watching an episode of Buffy. Getting the kids to bed was a toughie tonight.

So, this weekend was busy and yet not as busy as it could be. I am sick, but felt like I wasn't as sick as I could be (until now).

Oh, and while I was out shopping with Michael--I got a nice Peppermint Hot Chocolate for my throat--and that wasn't too bad at all.

Ice Skating

I loved Roller Skating when I was a kid. Skating and biking and then biking and skating. I loved being on wheels.

I have never done Ice Skating. But, being a good New Englander, I have given my kids opportunities to learn it.

This was Willow's second lesson. We shall see if she is interested enough to do the seven week course (if she is, I will have to buy her some used skates).





She was not as confident as she was last week. And she found that if she fell, she could then slide along on her legs and crawl (now that this week she had snowpants on).

I asked her afterwards if she wanted to do it again...and I got a tepid response. Luckily, classes do not restart until after Christmas...so I will gauge her enthusiasm later this month before signing up.

Voices

Searching for another CD, I found it. I knew it was there somewhere, a thoughtful gift that I thoughtfully put away.

There was dust on it. And I suddenly felt like I needed to hear it. I had forgotten what time of year it was recorded. Christmas messages for someone in a foreign land.

I initially took it out and played it in the car as a novelty for the kids--for my son who would appreciate it. There are other tracks on the CD that I knew would interest him more. Some old college audio projects, his mother interviewing his father for a project. (Now I listen and realize where I made mistakes and how I could have done it so much better. Lessons learned from time and experience.)

Later, I keep the CD in the car. And as I drive alone I replay the first few tracks. The tracks that were not meant for me. I was not yet born. Although I was mentioned and thought of. I listen to voices and realize what I have lost. What I have found.

I listen to a woman I did not know at all. And one I knew well, but had almost forgotten how she pronounced certain words, for some reason her pronouncing "chicken" sticks with me as only she would say it. She is stilted on this recording and I can tell she is uncomfortable talking into a microphone. And yet, I listen with my eyes closed as I sit in the drive way. She is so much younger in this recording and I am trying to reconcile her voice on the recording to the voice I was so familiar with. It is a short time on this recording. It is not enough. And yet it is.

Grammie's Fudge

He couldn't read my Grammie's cursive handwriting...




One of my favorite parts--opening the evaporated milk. McDonald's bag from Breakfast--we had a sleepover and the kids wanted it. Muppets Christmas album with John Denver on in the background.

We are all still in our pajamas...lazy Sunday morning.

And the rest is YUM!

Birthday Cake!

Michael, Willow and I went to Kirsten and Lorelei's Birthday Party today.

My nieces enjoyed their cake as only one year olds can. It was fun and a bit bittersweet to see them playing with their cake. I was remembering as I videotaped them how not too long ago I was capturing my own daughter on her first birthday.

And then. I was brought back to reality.



And the need for me to go get her some water.

Happy Birthday!

Piglet: How do you spell love?
Pooh: You don’t spell it, you feel it.

"It's so much more friendly with two." -- Winnie the Pooh

The more it snows (Tiddely pom),
The more it goes (Tiddely pom),
The more it goes (Tiddely pom),
On snowing. And nobody knows (Tiddely pom),
How cold my toes (Tiddely pom),
How cold my toes (Tiddely pom),
Are growing.

-- Winnie the Pooh

Happy 1st Birthday to my nieces, Lorelei and Kirsten!

It has been amazing to watch you two grow and to see my brother and sister-in-law grow into the role of parents. That first year is tough for all...but you guys have made it and now the real fun of being a family begins!

Every story and picture, every new milestone...reminds me how quickly it goes and how wonderful it is to be a part of your life. Thank you for being my nieces!

Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday for your party!

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 30

In the first novel and radio series, a group of hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings demand to learn the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything from the supercomputer, Deep Thought, specially built for this purpose. It takes Deep Thought 7½ million years to compute and check the answer, which turns out to be 42. The Ultimate Question itself is unknown. -- Wikipedia re The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I will be 42 in less than a month.

I thought I would know more than I do at this age. But the longer I live, the more I have learned that the ultimate answer is not necessarily 42. I think it would take me 7 1/2 million years to really understand how the universe works.

Right now I am in a kind of limbo in my life, mainly because of my job (or lack thereof) situation.

Yet another prospect has told me that I "set the bar high" that I was "exceptional" but I was their second choice.

Unfortunately, in my head I had already started the "hope" game. Where I was already strategically figuring out the next steps to be had after getting this job. I was so confident that I had nailed this one. And it was a nearly perfect fit, logistically, financially and career-wise.

I feel proud of how I have been handling this lay off and the job hunt. But I am weary. And my choices in life and career can be laid bare to me at such a time.

At this time of year, with the holidays, with getting another year older...it often becomes a reflective time. Usually the hectic schedule of the holidays and work keep me from being overly melancholy.

Don't get me wrong, part of me is happy that I am going to have this time of year off with my children and family.

But part of me wants the normalcy of routine (not to mention the accomplishment and money) of a job. My job doesn't define me. But it does make me feel more like a contributing member of our family.

Despite the limbo, despite the weariness, I am looking positively at the coming year. Hopefulness will return to me as I look at more prospects in the coming year.

So. 42. Let's see where you take me.

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 29

I have decided to once again participate in November. To read more about NaBloPoMo please click HERE.

I love hearing about other people's traditions during this Holiday Season. Not only is it interesting, but it gives me ideas for new traditions for our family. A tradition that I find very nice is new pjs for Christmas, where on Christmas Eve children (or the whole family) receive new pajamas. I like the fact it is something practical and also something that can make your Christmas morning photos more fun. I did this last year for the first time and both kids loved it. (In fact, the pjs I got Michael is one of his favorites).

This year I went overboard (there was a sale) and I not only bought special pjs for the kids for Christmas Eve, but also new pajamas for now...

Modeling her Holiday Pjs.

Perfect Moment Monday - A visit with Santa

On the 4th Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. The next Perfect Moment Monday event will be on December 26.

To participate in Perfect Moment Monday:

Follow Write Mind Open Heart.

Between the Sunday night before and the Sunday night after, write up your own Perfect Moment.

Use LinkyTools on her website to enter your name (or your site/blog name) and the URL of your Perfect Moment.

Visit the Perfect Moments of others and let the writers know you were there with some comment currency.



Despite the fact that I am all into the Santa part of Christmas, I have never been one for the photo with Santa tradition. I just found it too forced or too annoying for me to stand in line for my child to be "processed". I am sure that it is not that way everywhere, but my limited experiences had shown me that it was more often than not, an experience I could easily do without. Michael did not seem to have the need to visit Santa (a letter and a special trip to a mailbox did fine--as well as one year a letter FROM Santa at the North Pole). I haven't regretted or missed that tradition in the least.

But, yesterday we were at The Enchanted Village and after the exhibit, Willow saw Santa was receiving children. She almost ran up to him right to him (she would have, if I hadn't held her back). And the line was short. And I decided, why not? This Santa impressed me. He took time with each child. One child in front of us had brought a letter for him which he then took the time to read and talk to her about it. No feeling of rushing and a lot of cuddle and warmth. Each child was someone, not someone to be photographed and off. So...my children saw Santa (who welcomed a reluctant Michael onto his lap with a "hey, pal, come up right here" as if he understood a 13 year old big brother).





The Enchanted Village will definitely be a new tradition...and Santa, well, it may be a tradition that Willow would like to have too.