20 Years

Has it really been twenty years? Almost half my life and so much more...

20 years ago today I "met" you. Well, officially, I met you a few months before. You often joke that I rejected you three times before we "really" dated.

You must forgive me. You met me at a weird time in my life, my sophomore year in college. My freshman year had been tough. I had went through horrible homesickness and awful roommates, culture shock (I was not into PARTY ALL DAY-ism) and fatigue. I imagine my freshman year was a mixture of the normal freshman stuff, but added into the mixture was my own lack of involvement. Thing is, I am very introverted. My idea of a good time often involves listening to music (at that time on my Walkman) and reading a good book. Not exactly the best ways to meet people.

But...I did meet people eventually. And by my sophomore year, I was feeling pretty good. I had friends, a potential long-term boyfriend back home, and I was doing well. I even went out to clubs--um, social, geeky clubs...like the MSU Star Trek club...um, you might remember the first time we met, we were playing Star Fleet Battles?

By the time I met you the second time, my boyfriend had fizzled and I was sick to death with men/boys. I was fine with my girlfriends and just "hanging out". So, yes, I did not think of you as a "potential boyfriend" then...I just merely heard you across the room talking about the JFK assassination (yes, how romantic, but that is what perked my ears). You were talking about it in relation to the story presented in the Graphic Novel "The Watchmen". (BTW, thanks for helping to revive my love of comic books)

Okay. The third time, well. That was a mistake. Really. Star Trek club, again. We were playing laser tag in one of the abandoned (for the night) halls (can't tell y'all which one--we were not officially supposed to be there--one of our members worked there and had the keys). Speaking of which. When you say "Sure, I would like to get a pop (soda to you guys not from Midwest) too." with this guy who is vaguely familiar...remember that he is NOT the guy with the keys to the building. Cuz we got locked out. Because we wanted soda from a machine OUTSIDE the correct hallway. Luckily (or maybe unluckily, who knows if we had spent some extra time there what might have happened?), some one found us and let us back in.

Okay, so 20 years ago today...it was another Star Trek club event. We were doing a movie night over at one of our member's houses. We car pooled there (most of us did not have cars). When I arrived, I vaguely remember that I sat down and made sure to have the seat next to me empty. Not sure why I did that. I might have got vibes off of you. Or it just could have been that fact that my best friend was not there that evening. Either way, watching "Excalibur" with you next to me was thrillingly, nerve-wreaking fun. And we stayed there until 3 a.m., watching more movies, and then simply talking. We stayed so long that the member, whose house it was, finally asked us if we needed rides HOME...we talked in the car.

And then the next day, I kinda just went about my normal day. I am sorry, but I could not have known. How could I know that that evening you would come up behind me and ask me to go out for a walk with you. And I am so bad at names--I am sorry that the first thing I thought when I saw you behind me was--"Okay, its THIS guy--what's his name again?!?"

Thank you, my love, for being persistant. Thank you for walking in the snow, 20 minutes across campus (with a hole in your shoe), then walking 20 minutes with me towards your dorm, then walking me back afterwards (oh, and you had to walk back to your dorm, again!!!).

Thank you for being my husband and being the father of my children. Love you.