Contemplation

Summertime is a good time for contemplation.

It has been a rough year so far for our family. But things seem to be looking up. Times are changing. My husband and I are approaching new jobs and new obstacles will be presented to us.

When dealing with tough times, I am often too in the moment. Too frustrated, depressed, frantic. Too much in survival role. It is only when the crisis has passed or settled in that I can then take the time to contemplate its complexities. Its role in shaping my family.

And in doing so, I often look back at other tough times. And how we overcame them. I realize that with each set-back we have been resilient. That the bond that I have with my husband can stretch thin, but not break. That, despite my worries, despite my utter lack of faith at the outcome--we do our best and not only that, we grow stronger from the struggle.

That my family has grown is an accomplishment that has made me stronger. In our lives, our time of infertilty was small, but significant. And a lot of the burden was on me and I realize that is one of the times in my life I did something that was frightening to me (fertility treatments) but I found the strength and accomplished so much. I am very proud of how, as a family, we brought Willow into our lives.

Now I face the next chapter in our lives with confidence in myself and my family. Starting new jobs at the same time, while still adjusting to being a four person family...it can be tough sometimes. But we have faced worse and kicked its ass! And we are going to kick 2009's butt in gear and this second half of this year is going to be something to be proud of!

(Yeah, yeah--Gipper! Win one for!) (I am usually the cheerleader of the family--sometimes I need to cheerlead myself!)