This weekend, for various reasons, my husband and I switched. I took my son to Karate class and he took my daughter to swim class.
Some history:
I started my son out in karate class when he was 4 years old. I used to have Wednesdays off, so this was a class he and I could do. It was our “thing” together. Then, as he got older, he started acting “silly” in the class. He wouldn’t pay attention, he would talk when the instructor talked, he would act silly and not do the blocks, kicks, etc. Slowly, but surely, something I had had fun doing with him became a chore. Slowly—we learned he had ADHD. Even with the diagnosis—I just couldn’t bear watching him. I couldn’t bear the tension—but, my husband—he could. And he started taking him on the Saturday morning classes. With medication he has gotten better. And he has advanced and he has gotten into the Black Belt club.
Fast Forward to Saturday. I went with him. And he did not pay attention as much as he usually does. He acted silly during a quiet time. The tension came back to me. I tried hard to enjoy my son for who he is--and I was much better at it than I used to be--but I knew—in that imperfect moment—it was better that he went with his father. It clicked with his father.
My husband had a similar experience. Willow is 6 ½ months old. It is hard to take her to a class. It takes organization—something he is not good at. He hates swimming and the chlorine in the water makes him itchy. The infant swim class is held in 4 feet of water—he is 6 foot 6. And, most importantly, the smiles and giggles that I had elicited from her in previous classes—were not there for him.
When we got home after the classes—we both looked at other and knew—the perfect moments that we missed that morning. We won’t be switching again for a while.
4 comments:
It's a great thing to realized you don't have to be all things to all people. And that you can cover for each other when something doesn't fit quite right.
Your children are very lucky to have such aware parents.
Ahhh- very introspective. J and I both know where are strengths and weaknesses are raising out children...and thank goodness!
You two are so in tune.
It's fortunate that once you've figured out your best arrangements, you're able to make them happen!
It's a neat perspective to see that perfectly ordinary moments are even more perfect than your originally thought.
Lucky, lucky folks!
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