Breather

In better times, I remember it well. Going into the bosses and telling them that instead of a raise, I wanted a day off--time to spend with my son. They grudgingly gave me that day off. Every Wednesday until Michael went to kindergarten, I had mommy and me day with him. It was wonderful.

A few weeks ago I lamented that I could not do something like that with my daughter. That times were tough, I hadn't gotten a raise in a couple of years, and there was just no way I could go to my bosses and make such a proposal now.

And here we are. I am officially on "unpaid break" (hopefully only until September).

And now, despite the fears I have about having to find another job, about finances that were already at breaking point, about getting cabin-fever and dealing with projects large and small with the house....despite all those crazy mixed up emotions...

I am mostly smiling. At this moment, at the beginning of this supposed short-term obstacle, I see that this is what I had wished for. More time with my daughter. And a lazy summer days period for my son.

I know that eventually, even if this job doesn't pull through, eventually I will have another job.

But this time with my kids--it will never come around again. I am going to take full advantage of it.

(Come back here in a few weeks when I am going crazy with wanting adult conversation and tired of playing in the wading pool and the playground follies and Oh so sick of the multiple questions aimed at me in a three minute interval while I am trying to go to the bathroom--yeah, not really SAHM material...but I am gonna TRY!)