Finally Spring

On Being a Mom

As usual, there are lots of things being posted on Facebook about being a mother, about what type of mother to be, and posts reminding people that there are people hurting out there who would like to be mothers or who are missing their mother, etc.

One that struck a chord with me was this article listing the wonders of a special needs mother from Huffington Post.

It struck me two ways.  The first way would be obvious...my son is a special needs child.  Yes, a lot of the things listed in the article I have done and will continue to do.

However, looking at the list, started giving me mixed emotions.  Because some of the items on the list, like patience and energy and flexibility...well, those are items that every mother needs to deal with all the time.  Just because I have a child who is special needs doesn't mean I am superior or that I have special MOM powers.  It just means that I have to tap into those abilities far more often.

This (almost past) school year has been a trying time as a parent for me.  Michael is dealing with his identity not only as a teenager/young adult/high schooler but as a person who has special needs and issues.

Last week, his English class read a book about autism and Michael asked us to read it too.  In reading it, I realized some things about being his mother.  Some I am very proud of, some I wonder at my naivety regarding his issues.  I am very proud that I have always treated him as a "normal" child.  I have always expected him to do his best and to challenge himself.  I realized that some of that was because for the longest time I just assumed he was just a bit quirky, or "just" had ADHD, the diagnosis of High Functioning Aspergers was actually not  final until he was in middle school after all.  I think Michael and we as his parents are still trying to find our way through his Aspergers and while his transition to high school has been tough, I have seen my son start to emerge and progress to someone who can have a fulfilling life.

This does not mean I don't worry about him constantly.  I think the amount of stress the last year or so has put on both his father and I has been pretty measurable.  But I don't think this makes me an extraordinary mother.

In fact, I worry that I have been not as dutiful in the past year with our daughter as I should have been.  The energy has not been there sometimes and I know there have been times when I have not had it in me to go that extra mile for her.

But that is also part of being a mother.  Knowing when you need to do better.  Knowing when you need to listen more.  Knowing that time is short and they are changing before your eyes.

Part of being a mother is learning and adapting.  Learning from your children...that is something I take to heart.  Because I find them the most loving, intelligent, wacky, annoying, exhausting, wonderful people in my life.

Today was a bit frustrating for me...I was single parent most of the day and the kids were mostly good, but there were some challenges that presented themselves.  (Willow shoes, Michael having constipation and obsessing over it--being in a restaurant and Michael needing to do his pacing, etc.)  All in all, nothing extraordinary...in fact, pretty normal stuff.  Another normal --- Michael taking his sister out to play zombie while I was busy helping grandma; Willow hugging me and telling me how much she loved me, Michael talking about the Eddie Izzard concert to his father, telling him the jokes and showing him how much he enjoyed it).

Despite the stresses of the past year, on the eve of Mother's Day....all I can think of is how wonderful my children are and how thankful I am to be a mother to both of them.

Dinosaur Dig

One of the things I got Willow for her birthday was something I had done with Michael many times when he was her age (and older).  A dinosaur dig kit.  This one has two dinosaur fossils...one T-Rex and one Tri-ceratop.

She was very diligent!  We worked on it today...right now the fossils are soaking in water...we will assemble them in the morning.

6th Birthday in D.C.

Willow's Sixth Birthday was on April 24, 2014.  We were in Washington, D.C.  and we had a blast!

The day before, we were at the Zoo.  Willow would tell anyone who would listen that her birthday was the next day--oh, and by the way, she had a loose tooth (she still has a loose tooth--no toothfairy sightings yet!)

On her birthday, she woke up and we snuggled the heck out of her.  Then we made our way to the Natural History museum and the American History museum.

When we got back to the hotel room--to our surprise--the hotel staff had left her a surprise!

The hotel staff (including the manager) signed the card, wishing her a wonderful birthday!  In the bag was a small stuffed dog, M&Ms and fruit snacks!  (The card had a little watch like bracelet that to our horror (her delight) played the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song)

The day before we had asked where was a good family friendly local place to eat...and she had a great birthday dinner, with desert and a candle!

More Washington D.C. Adventures

This has been a very fun vacation for all of us.  Pretty much have gotten to do everything we have set out to do.  We visited the National Air & Space Museum, the Natural History and American History museums. We rode the Metro to the point of being almost experts...our feet hurt and my legs ached at the National Zoo.  We did cancel our Lincoln assassination walking tour because there was no way any of us would have been able to do it after the day at the zoo (I wish they had the tour during the day instead of 7 p.m. at night!).

We had crawfish and bbq ribs and gumbo.
Today we are going to use our car for some day trips around Maryland and Alexandria, including a trip to the National Museum of Health and Medicine which will make up for the Lincoln walking tour for me.  :-)

Some more photos:

Willow piloting a plane at the Air and Space.

Trying on an astronauts glove.

Willow went right up to the Ruby Slippers!

Casts of Abraham Lincoln's hands...his hand is swollen because of all the hand shaking he had been doing that day.

First Day - Washington D.C.

The first day was pretty successful, although we learned a few things:

1. When I ask if we should bring a backpack of water and snacks and someone says "nah", I shouldn't listen to them.

2. The semi-private driving tour was awesome!  But it was more getting out and walking than we thought it would be (hence I had not packed the backpack).

3. If you bring sunblock...you should probably USE it.  (To be fair, this was the first over 60 degree and sunny day we have had for a while!)

4. Although the Metro is pretty cool...the card system takes some getting used to.  (This could be because we hardly use the subway in Boston anymore--maybe we are just rusty!)

5. If your tour guide offers to give you suggestions on where to eat, make sure the kids are NOT in earshot so you don't end up at Fuddruckers (which was nice and all--but we have one close to where we live!)


So, it was a fun day and we saw lots of the memorials, etc.  We were originally going to go to the Air and Space Museum after the tour, but realized that everyone (especially Willow) was not going to be able to do that.  Luckily, we have a pretty flexible agenda--so, we will do Air & Space later this week.  (That was probably good because it was Easter Monday off for most of the schools around here so it probably was way more crowded than usual).  (Also why we did not go to near the White House--the Easter Egg event was today!)

We met a couple of nice people, too.  We met Meghan on the Metro.  Willow was a bit apprehensive to go on the subway, and Meghan was using it to go to an interview.  She struck up a conversation with us and was very pleasant and helpful...no wonder, she had been a nanny for three years!  Towards the end of the ride, Willow sat next to Meghan and they talked about such things and birthdays and dolls.  Eddie was our tour guide and he was very nice and funny.  While we were waiting for the other couple to join us, he told us about his three girls and how he had just taken them to the Lego movie at the drive-in.  He noted Michael's behavior through the tour and surprised us by saying that not only did he have a special needs kid too, but he used to work in special education...so, he totally got Michael.  And Willow--well, towards the end, Willow was jumping on Eddie's shadow and trying to play with him.  He was very knowledgeable about the history around him and knew right where and when for us to go.  He also found a small bag of items we had bought and will be mailing them to us.

We ended the day a little early and came back to the hotel.  Chewy found an ARBYS (!) and we had that for dinner.

Some photos from the first day:

First Stop: The Capitol

Next, the Lincoln Memorial:

The one picture I have of both of them at the Lincoln Monument...and they are not smiling!  They were impressed though!

Next, Arlington Cementary:

The Pentagon Memorial (very impressive):

The benches point away from the building if the victim was on the plane, towards the building if they were at the Pentagon.  They are spread out chronologically by the date of birth of each victim.  The victims ranged from age 3 years old to age 71.

Random Photos:

Eddie our Tour Guide at the FDR Memorial

FDR Memorial is in four "rooms" each telling a different part of his presidency.  This is a sculpture of a food line in the Depression.

This is a part talking about the paid work programs and the interesting thing about this is it is set up for the blind to be able to feel it and touch it, with Braille captions.

I love seeing bronze statutes that have been touched.

For kids, this is the popular statue!

At FuddRuckers for lunch after a long day of sight seeing!

On the Metro back to the hotel!