Christmas time is....Here!

It's here...and Willow asked to help with Santa stuff...and her comment:  "(yawn)...this is kinda boring..."  I did regale her with tales of toy assembly past...but this year...it was pretty simple.  And, of course, Santa had some surprises left for Willow once she finally went to sleep..


Before then, Christmas Eve was spent with friends and family...first at a non-brunch brunch...and then at our old Japanese steakhouse....Birthday cake was served!

Then home for presents.  Michael gave me a wonderful present of a framed drawing he made for his drawing class this year!

Now for pictures!

Willow and cousins:

At the Japanese steakhouse...plum wine and yummy food...and surprise bday cake!

And home...Michael's gift wrapped for me...and other gifts...

Michael had an adventure getting this drawing framed and wrapped.  While wrapping it on Saturday...the glass broke on his first frame...so a scramble back to the store with Dad...and sympathetic store clerks letting him use their wrapping paper later...this is what I came home to after the steakhouse.

Michael got Willow a Star Wars figure!

Michael got Brad a Pulp Fiction figure!

We got Michael Rocket Racoon (from Guardians of the Galaxy) pjs and a Rick and Morty game.

Michael's drawing! (I hope he got an "A" for it!) (Done in charcoal)

Christmas morning!!

This morning!  (Michael in his Rocket Racoon pjs)

A requested video game!

More things to read!

A Meesick! 

Warhammer figures!

A mini Guitar!

A Dragon hoodie (its Toothless and it has a tail!)

Things I haven't done yet...

Things I haven't had the chance of doing yet or been prevented from doing:

• See my son's presentation on Rabies for his biology class...  (Oh come on...this is SO something I would like to see!)  Like a lot of things with Michael, he plays things close to his chest.  I have only heard of this project, which I believe he had to come up with a theory and a way to prove it...and he picked something to do with Rabies.  Sometimes he is SO like me--but yet...won't let me SEE!!  :-)

• A good nights sleep has eluded me for about a week...having a very bad cold, combined with other stressors in my life...just not happening.  Hoping to get some rest this weekend?

• Going to the fitness Boxing place, now that I have signed up for a year!  I tried the Friday after Thanksgiving--the mall they were in was closed off with firetrucks.  Been too busy or too sick to go since then (they have limited times for classes too, which is a challenge).  Hope to go this Sunday...hopefully the weather, my sickness and my alarm clock will help me to do so!

• Filling up my holiday cards--helps if you actually have them....they are being shipped soon!

Decorations Ahoy!

New ornaments this year.

The trick in getting him to smile...talking with him and not looking like you are taking a picture...

I cannot ever get a good picture of the tree...we don't have a picture worthy tree...its better in person...lots of cool ornaments...

So, it cannot be denied...December is upon us!

2017 is almost over and as usual, I marvel at how quickly winter turned to spring turned to summer turned to fall turned to....well, winter is not quite here--but December is!   The end of the year--the beginning of a new one just around the corner...the celebrations, the expectations...the melancholy and nostalgia. 

I find as an adult, once Halloween is over, I am loathe to admit that the next holidays are coming...that the end of the year is near, that Thanksgiving is barely a blip before the festivities, mayhem and JOY spill out onto December, like a calendar of the whole year vomiting up before me.

So.  Just before you think me a humbug or a grinch...it really is just me dragging my feet away from this year and trying to "stay at the pool a little longer" and enjoy this year...THIS time...before the seasons take over all senses. 

Two nights ago, Willow asked if I was excited...I said, "Well, it isn't even December yet!"  I will wait until then! 

This weekend we will put the decorations up...I will start looking forward to making Grammie's Fudge...and I will even start playing Christmas music!  Hanukkah is early this year...so, I have to get my Holiday Groove on quick....But I will, just like a vacationer having to come back from vacation and go back to the normal routine...I will fully embrace December/Christmas/Hanukkah/End of Year/Birthday. 

---------

(BTW---I already have 95% of my holiday shopping done...I may drag my feet when it comes to the seasons...but not when getting presents for people I love...one of my favorite things about this season!)

Recital!

This weekend was Recital weekend!  Willow took on a lot for the fall recital, as she was doing piano and voice lessons--she was part of the Tiny Trebles again (I think she is probably aging out of Tiny Trebles very very soon...)

Our weekend was dominated by the rehearsal and the recital. I had a few times of being a "stage mom" having to help her get into and out of costume and helping with props, etc.

Willow is actually very good at piano (although she suffers from practice-itis).  She played three songs and was a bit nervous (she did the typical nervous thing--she played her songs a bit faster than normal).

The singing group sang two songs -- one of which was "Let it Go" from Frozen...Willow visibly rolled her eyes (she had wanted to sing a song from Tangled instead, but was over ruled by the younger kids).  She definitely has a stage presence! 

Then--intermission--where I rushed back to the frenzy of nervous and harried people trying to put on a show....Willow and her fellow group singers were putting on a scene from Annie--with props and costume changes and SCENERY!

It was a big deal...and I was there to help with a costume change...and help her get her wig on...because by default, really...she was Annie...they had to learn lines, singing, blocking, handle props, etc. in ten weekly sessions (with some kids not always being there, etc....)  It was sloppy, Willow forgot one line (no one noticed) -- but, they pulled it off!  It was very cute as they sang "Its A Hard Knock Life!"  They did really well, she did very well!  (Maybe I can get her to do theater yet!)

Rehearsal the day before--getting costume on!  

New dress for recital and for the piano part...she was a bit nervous...also, she hates her hair up...but it needed to be up, so we could quickly get her in the wig!

She looks so different...and kinda like my mom when she was younger...

The curtain opens!  (I did not get many pictures, etc..cuz I was "helping")

Ripple Effects 2

"Do you ever feel dead inside?"  -- this is what she said to a teacher in the hallway.  Promptly got a call from a counselor.  For the second time that day, I had to explain that recently, my mother died (and both times I cried...hmm...I think mom would be happy about that...) and that she is a old soul, thinks deep thoughts, etc. 

She talked to the counselor.  Said she often wonders about death.  Wonders if anyone would miss her when she is gone.  She sounds like me when I was a girl.  I tell the counselor about a time when I put her to bed at 6 years of age--and she said "I love you mommy, and I will keep you in my heart, even after you are dead."  Yeah.  Like me. 

Counselor said that she called me her hero, that she is comfortable talking to me, etc.  Counselor said that we are doing fine, all the right things, they just wanted to let us know.  Counselor agrees it could also be the time of year and hormones as well as the recent death.

---------------------------

I talk with her.  It is all those things.  She misses grandma, she is worried about dying (and heck, she did not have to see her dying like I did---glad I made the decision not to have the children come those last few days).  I am sure the world we live in is not helping matters--to hear (even just in the background) about shootings and violence and hate...

-----------------------------

In the morning, driving her to school.  I talk about how yes, I have been a bit down lately too...perhaps we need to look at the positives in our lives and be Thankful (it being close to Thanksgiving and all...)

We both put our best attitudes on---and face another day. 

----------------------------

Stray thoughts: 

• she may be my Wednesday Adams  (although, I was always more gleeful in my embrace of the macabre, she is more like a weary-worrier...maybe more like Linus...)
• she can be too empathetic
• she bounces back well
• time for some mom over drive
• she is my reader and deep thinker
• no advice needed, she is in therapy already (twice a month), a counseling group in school, we can reach out to hospice, etc.  We got this.
• every so often, my kids remind me of myself
• this holiday season may be tough

Ripple Effects

Sometimes I am driving home from work and I think that mom should have called me by now.  She had a way of calling at the most aggravating times sometimes, but I would often call her back when I was driving home from work.  She also usually left voice mail messages that always sounded like there was something urgent that she needed to talk about---and usually...there wasn't.  She could be the most annoying, frustrating, needy person...she could also be thoughtful and sweet and caring.  The finality of death is frustrating and annoying, making one long for one last fucking annoying call from someone.

------------------------

Pictures and music and the time of year...well, time for the ghosts of the past to make their way in my memories...

------------------------

Halloween is over and it was wonderfully fun...but went by so fast!  I was so happy that this year, for just a little over an hour...we all went Trick or Treating as a family!  It was nice and fun!

Michael put together a great costume this year--and Willow kinda went with a more understated costume this year.

With that...our favorite holiday is over...and we brace ourselves for the onslaught of Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannukah....etc.

Busy doing that Thing called Life...

October is a busy month and we have been pretty much on the go for most of it---I cannot believe Halloween is almost upon us!!

I often think of things to write here, but find my time limited to do so...or I end up getting into a FB "discussion" about the current state of affairs of our county....it is exhausting to have Real Life and then also have to deal with things I should not have to worry about....like whether we are going to blowed up by some maniac.. (There was a time that I did not have to care so much about the daily affairs of our country...ah, yes...that was a mere, oh...what, 11 months ago?!!?)

So...I will be posting when I can...but at the moment...everyone is fine...everyone is happy...Chewy lost his wallet (again) and Michael stressed out but lived through his first midterms...Willow is having a Halloween party...um...TOMORROW...and I am burned out, but doing the best I can...

RANDOM PHOTOS!

This morning's treat...

Willow the Cat!

Random enough for ya?!

Actual Cats!  (Kif and Delenn...they seem to like to do this a lot)