Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Ripple Effects 2

"Do you ever feel dead inside?"  -- this is what she said to a teacher in the hallway.  Promptly got a call from a counselor.  For the second time that day, I had to explain that recently, my mother died (and both times I cried...hmm...I think mom would be happy about that...) and that she is a old soul, thinks deep thoughts, etc. 

She talked to the counselor.  Said she often wonders about death.  Wonders if anyone would miss her when she is gone.  She sounds like me when I was a girl.  I tell the counselor about a time when I put her to bed at 6 years of age--and she said "I love you mommy, and I will keep you in my heart, even after you are dead."  Yeah.  Like me. 

Counselor said that she called me her hero, that she is comfortable talking to me, etc.  Counselor said that we are doing fine, all the right things, they just wanted to let us know.  Counselor agrees it could also be the time of year and hormones as well as the recent death.

---------------------------

I talk with her.  It is all those things.  She misses grandma, she is worried about dying (and heck, she did not have to see her dying like I did---glad I made the decision not to have the children come those last few days).  I am sure the world we live in is not helping matters--to hear (even just in the background) about shootings and violence and hate...

-----------------------------

In the morning, driving her to school.  I talk about how yes, I have been a bit down lately too...perhaps we need to look at the positives in our lives and be Thankful (it being close to Thanksgiving and all...)

We both put our best attitudes on---and face another day. 

----------------------------

Stray thoughts: 


  • she may be my Wednesday Adams  (although, I was always more gleeful in my embrace of the macabre, she is more like a weary-worrier...maybe more like Linus...)
  • she can be too empathetic
  • she bounces back well
  • time for some mom over drive
  • she is my reader and deep thinker
  • no advice needed, she is in therapy already (twice a month), a counseling group in school, we can reach out to hospice, etc.  We got this.
  • every so often, my kids remind me of myself
  • this holiday season may be tough






No comments:

Much Needed Self Care...

For my Birthday this year, I got a weekend away from everyone at a nice hotel with a spa.  This was the weekend.  And much needed it was! Af...