Ears

Then...

Now...

It Came

"Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart, and hand in hand." -- Dr. Seuss
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It is kinda different, having older kids during the Holidays...There is some wonder of the season left, but there is also a quietness and somberness that sets in too.

We all know the drill, and it has become obvious to all that I buy most of the presents.  Which is fine with me, but it does leave a bit of an empty feeling in my stocking!  😋

As time goes on, and the kids are harder to buy things for, it becomes more and more obvious that the holidays are not about things and gifts...It's about each other.  It is about family.  (Well, duh). 😊

Although, as I write this, Willow is watching a dreadful Barbie video, Chewy is on his new Kindle, and Michael is in his room upstairs...We are going to have a nice turkey dinner (a pre-cooked, all I have to do is reheat one this year--birthday present to me!) And then we will all go see Rogue One!

It is nice to be here with my family.

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My birthday gift...A smart television for our bedroom!

The Cute

It is Pajama Day at Willow's school...seeing all the elementary school children going to school in their cute pajamas--makes me all mushy inside.

Already, I had the mush from Tuesday's Holiday program...oh my, how the Kindergartners are so small and barely out of toddler-dom...

Yeah, I miss my kids being that age. I HATED the infancy stage..loved the toddler stage, barely remember the elementary school days...as I have often remarked by now...Time and its passage still seems to amaze me.

I do love the stage my children are in right now too.  I used to always say that to people--I love the stage my kid is in "right now".  Now, that is tinged with a bit or regret, because I do actually also miss the stage of my kid "before" too.  Ahh...time.

And, of course, I am too old to have more children (nor do I logically want them) and too young to be a grandmother...so, I will just observe The Cute...

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Meanwhile, my children are still awesome.  ;-)

Willow for Holiday program and Pajama Day (new dress and Christmas PJs):

#MicroBlog Monday - One Week...Ornaments, etc.

One week from yesterday.  Another Birthday, another Holiday...another year ending....one week.

Last night, after the kids went to bed, I made more chocolate fudge.  Mostly because I wanted to give some away for presents, partially because the last batch got too oxygenated and I don't like it that way (I like it when the fudge stays moist and soft, not hard).  I looked at my Grammie's writing of the recipe on the piece of paper that is worn and that I keep telling myself to laminate...and felt the bitter-sweetness of saying good-bye to it for another year, as I put it back in the recipe box.

I have not been too melancholy this season -- maybe because I am a bit more depressed about the situation in our country and that tends to dampen things in general, maybe it is because this season seems to have snuck up on me in a weird way...not like last year, where it totally surprised me and I did not have most of my holiday songs sung or movies watched...no, we have been very good this year in capturing the spirit of the season (maybe because we need the distraction from the "real world").  It just amazes me that, well, now...less than a week from now...it will be Christmas and Hanukkah and my Birthday...and then time will move on again....

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Meanwhile, I was gonna do this cutesy post about our ornaments on our tree...I took pictures and everything!  Our ornaments make our tree unique.  I love seeing those wonderfully spectacular trees, with all the lights and all the "put togetherness" and themes...but, our tree is not like that.  Our tree is a reflection of our family--lots of special ornaments that mean only something to us, an eclectic gathering of interests and past experiences.  Our lights are somewhat haphazardly put on the tree...because I am a perfectionist but short--and the ones who can actually put the lights on the tree, well, they are not perfectionists, and they get tired of hearing me ask them to move the lights this way and that.  And then there are the cats....the THREE cats...who have shown us through the past couple of years, that we need to have no glass ornaments or fragile ornaments on this tree--and the ornaments and lights better be up high, otherwise they are holiday cat toys.  

So, our tree has meaning and mess...and has bare branches on the bottom.  The branches, some of them are flared out to look like a real tree--other branches are so laden down with ornaments, who knows if they would actually not break if they were real (and some are probably still smooshed from when we put it away last year, cuz I could not be bothered to flare out one more damned branch--and my daughter was done helping already...)

Some of our ornaments: 

For a long while, Michael was really into Spider-Man...

And then Batman...

My parents gave me this ornament long ago, to celebrate my birthday.  They also got us ornaments to celebrate our wedding and the births of our children.  Each ornament is gold.

I started to get a family ornament each year, with our names and the year.  I like this tradition.  

This is from when Willow went the Nutcracker (one of her favorites!) and the wreath is from a dear Aunt of mine from long ago.

Michael learned piano for a bit...and my dad's wife Margo has made us wonderful ornaments, including this one for Michael (and a Klingon one for Brad, which we love!)

This year, Willow started piano lessons, and her teacher gave her an ornament to commemorate her first recital...and there is another Margo ornament for Willow!

I bought this Cthulhu a few years ago--one of my favorites!

I love this one too...

One of the oldest and dearest ornaments is Santa and his reindeer...next to one of the newest ornaments (one that Willow said brought tears to her insides)

Family ornament before Willow...

A mish-mash--we have a Michael ornament, an old Santa ornament, and a new family ornament.

50 years of Star Trek...yeah, an ornament was needed!

Other #MicroBlogs are here.  

Personally Inspired

Sometimes a person comes into your life and inspires you in ways you cannot fathom.  Sometimes that person is only in your life for a brief time, then gone.

This weekend, I went to a memorial for such a person.  She was gone too soon...younger than me.  I had not seen her in years, but had kept in sporadic touch with her through social media.

Social media can be deceptive in many ways, least of which, making you feel like your friends are not that far away, that they are only a click away.  

My friend had moved to the west coast a few years ago, and I knew that she had friends and family here.  So, yeah, there were a few times she had come back to visit and the timing wasn't good...so I missed hooking up with her...but I figured, oh there would be a next time.  And now there will not.  And it feels wierd, because for me, there is a part of me thinking, oh, she is just a click away...

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She was quirky.  She had tattoos.  She colored her hair.  She came to an interview at my job, and my first vibe was...not sure how she will fit into our company...but she did.  I worked beside her for years.  

She was experienced beyond her years...from good times and tough times.  She was empathetic and tough.  She was a listener and a doer.  I learned about Burning Man through her, we discussed eclectic music choices, and enjoyed sharing musical tastes in our cubical we shared.  

She was funny and enjoyed life.  She knew it was worth living.

I knew she was a special person, someone to keep in contact with, if only to live vicariously through.

She inspired me to be myself, even when I was a bit quirky and geeky. She reminded me of my younger days and made me feel like there was so much more to life.

We had conversations that ran deep and philosophical and we talked about cats.  She had a birthday two days before me, and joked about being "Christmas babies".  We exchanged presents and sympathies over various hurdles in our lives.

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And then...I was laid off, she moved away.  We kept in contact, and she faded a bit it my life... but the inspiration...the impact on my life...was there.

I will miss her and her crazy, cool stories and adventures.  

Writer?

She is definitely a deep thinker, my Willow.

She thinks the most interesting things sometimes, and she creates the most intricate stories.

She reads and imagines...sometimes adding to her own anxieties.

This past week, though, she has shown her creativity in her writing...something she is very good at doing.

I hope she continues to be the creative thinker that she is and I hope to encourage her to write.  

Very proud of my little (not so little) girl.  

Moments

I open his door and he is laying on his bed, his small laptop open, looking at stuff...the tuxedo cat stretched out underneath him.  They are both comfortable in each other's company.  I withdraw...

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Downstairs, I hear music...ah, Christmas music...who turned that on?  She is on her new chair, underneath a blanket, reading the holiday books, listening to holiday music...

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Earlier, they played a video game together, they argued in the car, they listed five things they liked about each other...everyone separately and together appreciated a seasonal activity...

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All these moments this weekend and this season and the next season and the previous season...I love...I am happy for these children.  They make my heart full.

December, December...

So, the Holiday Season is upon our family.

I have mixed emotions on this.

There have been times in recent memory that I have been a bit melancholy and out-right depressed around this time of year.

Last year, I was splendidly not depressed--but the time went by so quickly--I barely got all my x-mas music played!

This year--the election and the state of the world kinda adds to my anxiety levels.

Also the fact that Michael will be turning 18 years old this February--and the anxiety levels that that provides regarding worrying about college, driver's education, special needs issues, etc.  Oh, and the college class he will be taking with his curriculum this spring..the fact that he will be graduating with his public high school class, etc.  Yep...it will be a special, stressful year coming up!

Well, first up is Driver's Education...made the down payment--he will be taking 6 hour a day classes during Holiday break this year!  Then on the road it is for him.  He is a bit excited about it (has been asking to do it for about six months), but like a lot of things for him--he is quietly anxious about it.

The biggest thing we have learned regarding Michael is that he needs more life experiences--because he gets himself so anxious in anticipation that he can become frozen regarding these big steps.  I can see him starting to worry about the college class he is taking in the spring...and this is exacerbated by the fact that state law will emancipate him when he turns 18...which means the decisions on these big steps are his to make (with, hopefully, our guidance).  I think sometimes he worries we are just going to kick him out when he turns 18...which, even for a teen without special needs, is daunting.

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Meanwhile--the Holidays come whether we are ready or not!  I have a good deal of my shopping done already--and just when I think I am at a good place---realize there is someone I am forgetting or something else--like, oh, Holiday cards....that I still have to get!  But, by now, I know not to sweat the small things...right now, I know, wistfully, the best things about the Holidays are the times together and the memories we share.

So, while I am stressing about things coming up and what is next and what is needed for this and that....I am trying very hard to also enjoy the here and now.

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We had a very relaxing Thanksgiving weekend, hardly doing anything...eating lots of food and getting the Holiday decorations out.  This year we put the tree in a different spot.

We used our new Echo Dot to play some holiday music and it was so much fun!

Our newest ornament--for Star Trek's 50th anniversary!  It plays the original Star Trek theme and has Captain Kirk speaking (very tinny--but cool!)

I did not get a good picture of the tree yet...but will put it on here when I do!

Pictures from Halloween 2016 and Beyond...