Growth

She wants me to rock her to sleep tonight. I have not rocked her in a while, and to feel her length and weight against me is such a surprise...this is not my little baby anymore...this is my three year old. With her feet touching my knees as I try to position her to be able to rock her over my shoulder as I used to. Time slips by with each rock back and forth and I can remember back to when I used to be holding a crying baby singing softly to her. Tonight I do not sing to her, I just hold her and rub her back and listen to her breathe.

And then the boy bounces up the stairs near her room, saying he is going to bed now too. I was sort of hoping he was going to stay up a bit so that we could hang out (re watch another Dead Like Me).

I put her into her bed and then go quickly to see if he needs anything. Some days he just wants to go to bed on his own, most days he still likes to be tucked in. Today I tuck him in and we kiss good night...and then I hear her at the end of the hall asking me to "sit with her". I know that he also likes me to sit in his room with him for a bit, but she is the one that is harder to get to sleep...so I go into her room.

She finally drifts off and as I go into his room, I half hope he is still up (maybe we can talk or maybe I can even get him up so we can hang out--re watch another Dead Like Me). But he is asleep.

And I marvel at the changes happening in both of them and wish that there was a pause button.