January was long..February quick...now it is March?!?!?

Remember New Years?

This balloon does!  It's one of the 3 helium balloons I had gotten to celebrate the new year...and this one has just been hanging around and floating like a ghost throughout our house.  It pops up in our bedroom as we sleep, in the shower when we get up...last night it was hanging out while we were making dinner.  I don't have the heart to cut it and throw it away like the other two (actually, one of the other two balloons made for some helium speaking fun with Willow...)

So...the balloon lives...drifting through 3 months of time---there is a part of me that wants to see if it can at least make it to half a year!

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Meanwhile, life has been busy and...well...life.  Willow has had some issues at school, Chewy got orthopedics for his feet; Michael is finishing community college and wants to study paleontology and film history at UMass Boston....and I am surprised at how quickly we are already past some of our biggest markers of the early part of the  year....

Michael already turned 21 years old!

He needs to get more experiences outside the home socially interacting with people, but...otherwise, he is an interesting, thoughtful young man who loves movies, history, video games and junk food.  He is currently into Star Trek (finally!) and we have watched a lot of old generation and we are up to the Sixth movie...and he is watching "Picard" with us.  

Willow got BRACES...

It is kinda cool to be able to be part of the "braces club" with her, as I remember my time with braces.  She has it a little better--she gets to the have the invisible type, and to help with cavities, they gave us an electric toothbrush and water pick! (A water pick!  -- I want one!)

We went to Total Con--and I had a blast playing the games--Michael was sometimes trying...like I said, he needs more experiences dealing with social interaction and being out in the "world"...but the games, they were awesome!

Willow was a riot playing Land of the Lost Miniatures with me... she boldly (or more appropriately, foolishly) wanted to be the first player in each new scene, so she often was our "distraction" while we ran/sneaked away from danger!  We all laughed so much, our faces hurt!

I also played a Marvel Role playing game (as The THing!) and, of course, an Andre game...I had a lot of fun!  I also got to spend some quality time with Willow and some pool time with her.

So...now we are in MARCH!

Looking forward to Willow's 12th (!!!) birthday, and the spring...although, we really have not had winter too much here at all....

The outside world is scary right now, we are anxious about that, and about our own battles we are fighting...but, we are doing well so far this year!

Reader

Up past my bedtime...the past six months I seem to not be able to get myself to sleep by my "bedtime"...but I digress.

Up past midnight, finally going to bed...I hear the russle... and find the girl quickly trying to put the big book away before I catch her.

It's the weekend, although she does have piano lesson in the morning...how can I deny my youthful doppelganger one last chapter.

So I leave her, reminding her to finish and go to bed soon!  As I am reminded of those man nights of my youth spent in similar respite.


*her poison, Stephen King's "It".

2019 review....

Well, 2019 had its ups and downs.  rough patches and more rough patches.  The good and the bad:

• Chewy got an emergency appendectomy to start the year!  (and I owe him a sailors jig, as I thought that happened in February last year, but no, that was in January last year)
• We had a pretty good Total Con, although Michael had Uber driver mishap and was dropped off at wrong location
• Chewy started the months long battle with his foot/toe.  He ended up having to be off it/in a boot for 4 months or so
• Michael got his driver's license!  He spent a lot of time chauffeuring dad around and now takes the car out every so often.  Still needs more confidence with highway driving.
• Willow started Middle School...she had a very shaky start and we are still working through some issues, but she is doing better.
• Teen Years Willow can be very trying
• Teen Years Willow can also be very considerate, kind and thoughtful
• Michael goes back and forth from being a jerk and being quietly respectful and kind
• My job is going well personally, however there is more drama at the place than I would prefer
• We enjoyed Cape Cod despite adversity
• We had several different appliances fail us and set us back some cash
• the car.  the car.
• Health issues/scares, but still able to get through it to the end of the year
• Because of various limitations, we did not get to do some of the things we love to do every year, but we still generally had a good time.

Here's hoping for a more successful, healthy year!

Pictures from throughout 2019 of the kids:

2020!

As I open my eyes and try to struggle out of my nice warm snuggly bed on this day off in the middle of a work week.  I realize I have a headache.  It's not because I over indulged last night...although I did a bit.  It's more because...well...I am old.   :)

50 years old to be exact!  

So...I open my eyes, take the breathe strip off my nose, put my glasses on...put colorful slipper socks on (Michael doesn't like bare feet, so this has become an essential in the house)...and what comes to my mind...a Simpsons episode where Atomic man keeps saying his catch phrase in a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger accent: "up and Atom!"

Ok...trying to write more and use this space more this year...here's some pictures:

Avocado toast!

Xmas Eve 2019

Birthday Party -- Me Edition!

Had a birthday party for the first time in a LOOONG time...and it was very fun. 

What struck me most--I have some incredible people in my life! 

Sometimes we are so damned busy with life and its struggles and just...well, Daily-ness.  Never time to actually spend with people we have in our lives and who we know, somehow or other, we really like to spend time with!

I also have incredibly eclectic tastes--in music, movies, hobbies....and friends.  I gathered some of them up in a small room for 3 hours...and we had food, laughter (sometimes at each others expense...) and I realized how people gather together despite their differences, for someone they care about.  And this time that person they cared about was me!  

Unfortunately, 3 hours is not enough time with everyone, and I do regret that I did not get to hang out with everyone as much as I wanted...but it did make me resolve that this next year--this 50th (!) year...I am going to try to make more time to enjoy the friends and family around me and show them how much I appreciate them!

Some pictures:

Will got me a boa and tiara.  And a green mustache...

Kirsten and Willow (and creepy baby doll Willow brought..because...I don't know why)

Indeed!

My balloons...lost already...well, we recovered the "5"

Yeah.  Avengers.  Yum.

Dessert..and an attempt at all you can eat Marshmallows....

I miss writing here...

I promise to try to do better...

Looking at my last post, that pretty much sums up life the past couple months.  Halloween has come and gone and we are already looking at Thanksgiving soon.

Everyone still trying to find their way, some days I think things are just going to crash apart, and some days I see the hope.

This year has gone off the rails so fast and we have never really recovered.  I told myself that I would steer into the slide, and with each new road block, I have found myself having a harder time having the emotional (and sometimes physical) energy to steer.

Okay,  self.  Enough!

50 years old, you are going to be---and dammit, next year will be better!  Or at least you will deal with it better!  Or something like that, dammit!

As usual, what usually happens with me is I go through a sloth/slug period and then I pick myself (and my family) back up again, and we continue on.

Meanwhile, while we get ourselves ready for Thanksgiving and the holidays (and my birthday party!)...some pictures:

Don't know if you can see, but a leaf impression in ice on my car windshield.

At Mt. Auburn Cemetary

Our raccoon who is making a mess of our trash cans lately.

Halloween 2019

Even Michael went out, Halloween 2019

John made a Crepe breakfast while Chewy and Michael were away at Carnage (gaming convention in VT)

Willow found my lip stick.  I think she takes lessons from the Joker...

And then there was the Braces consultation...

#Microblog Monday: Learning to Tread Water

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too. Click here for most recent posts...


Work and life have been overwhelming lately for both of us...er...well, for ALL of us.  I think we are all dealing with various situations that are overwhelming us and we are each dealing with it in our ways...trying to find our way out of the anxiety, or at least to the point of getting above it.

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Working from home can be advantageous, but it also brings some disadvantages--Chewy is experiencing all these as he has been working from home since December...the need to get out and AWAY from the house (and the children) is higher...and trying to find the time for him to be able to do just that is hard.

Adding to the issue is Chewy's foot issue (with the whole BOOT thing--no walking without it, no driving).  The good news--it is really healing well now!  The bad--a few more weeks with the boot.

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Michael is on the cusp of so many things, but options and transitions are not things a person on the spectrum can handle well.  The best thing for him is short, simple steps towards a goal...but keeping him moving towards that goal, making sure that he keeps those goals in mind and makes some type of progress towards the goals...that can be a challenge.  The summer break has made him a bit soft...made the parental units soft too. 

I push when I can, but pushing too hard, makes him anxious and he shies away.  Ultimately, HE has to make the progress.

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Willow is having a tough time transitioning to Middle School.  The calls from school are almost daily, and I hope that slowly, but surely, she will get used to the routine of it and get interested in extracurriculars and that will invigorate her interest in school in general.  (She loves reading and learning, she just seems to not like being put into a cookie cutter setting...)

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My work has been overwhelming lately...too much work, not enough time to breathe or take a break...and when I am done with the working day---I have to deal with the above issues.

Thinking of taking advantage of the Day Spa gift certificate from Mother's Day long ago....

Trying to connect...

Tonight was a strange night of connections and non connections....driving to meet my brother for dinner (his birthday is Sunday)...drifting along with tunes...mind thinking about time...Judy Blues Eyes came up and I was starting to cry (Chewy has recently mentioned that he would like this song played when he dies).

Then I drive Michael to his event...and Willow comes along.  She talks to me excitedly about Magna and Anime..about this Magna she is loving and wants me to read.  It's great to hear her discover something and try to get me to discover it too.

Then, picking up Michael later...by ourselves. nothing to say.  I try to reach out and discuss something meaningful...silence.  I cannot connect to him no matter how I try.  And it bothers me but I cannot communicate that to him.  

The end of the night and I come to connect with my husband for the last part of the evening...moving on from the past and future and into the now...