This Weekend

Was busy, fun, tiring, somewhat depressing, and hopeful. Here it is in no particular order.

My medications came via Federal Express Saturday. Now I just have to wait for AF, which probably won't be for another 2 weeks. Great that we got that bit of hope, because that afternoon:

We went to a BBQ/Pool Party at a friends house. I love our friends, but...

I had a bit of a melt down before we went (although a nice hot bath helped). I really did not want to socialize, and they just had their THIRD child (all girls). I did not want to be stuck talking to a lot of women about babies and children and having babies and aren't they cute, etc.

The good news--it wasn't that bad (little talk of children, and NO talk of birth, etc.). HOWEVER, there were some moments. I wanted to help my friend out while she tried to get things going on the grill--so, she immediately asked if I could hold the baby. Which was not earthshatteringly hard, just kinda uncomfortable--I mean physically, I haven't held an actual small (3 mo.) baby in some time, and as I looked down I thought "I hope this next cycle makes this happen for me". Esp. since we both would like a little girl, it was kinda hard, but almost in a good way, like maybe this might be a lucky charm (?). The only really hard moment was later on, when I was watching the baby for her and a little boy came up and said "Is that your baby?"

Other than that, our friends were fun and we talked and husband got to play with an i-phone, and we had such fun (me included) that we were late for our next thing---an overnight at the Rhode Island zoo.

The zoo overnight was WAY fun. We got to see the animals at night, we got to sleep over in the education room (I heard the wolves howling in the middle of the night), and today we fed an elephant and a giraffe. Still, Michael's favorite moment was sleeping in his sleeping bag with all the families in the education room.

Came home exhausted today, but I guess what I am saying is that despite my persistent efforts to make myself miserable this weekend, I had a good weekend. And maybe I am a bit more hopeful for this cycle...