How cool is this?

My first clothing buy for Willow:




Okay, Okay...that was really the second clothing buy...this was the first:





Yep, that's showing my sick AND my sweet side...

It's a GIRL!!!

We went to the U/S today, taking Michael with us. We had the technician tell Michael and he told me (although he wants to withhold telling dad until tonight--shh...dad already kinda figured it out). We could kinda tell from his look when the tech whispered it to him--that somewhat disappointed look, but yet okay look. When he took me into the hallway to tell me, he said "its a girl". And I asked him if he was okay with that. And he said he was...he's been switching between calling it a girl and calling it a boy for some time now, so while I know he wanted a brother, he is not upset with a sister. (Its still kinda intangible to him yet)

SO, our baby is a girl, her name will be Willow Leone ("Lee-own").

The rest of the ultrasound was very long and drawn out (Michael started getting bored). They were checking out all the vitals, brain, kidneys, etc. Michael at first was very interested in the mechanics of it all, even telling the technician to make sure to look at the bladder, etc. But the baby--SHE, was moving around a LOT and they had to keep me moving to different sides, etc. to get all the measurements they wanted. The end result -- everything is fine and dandy!

Michael has the ultrasound pictures (his teacher said he could bring them into school), so I will post them later.

Thankfulness

I have a lot to be thankful for (my health, my son, my husband, a roof over my head, etc.), but I needed to write down the things that I am most thankful for this year especially.

1. Medical science and the clinic that helped me and my husband achieve our goal. They were always so courteous and helpful, always willing to inform us when we asked our many many questions. Especially the bloodwork ladies who gently poked me many many times with many many needles.

2. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts for their policy of covering IVF and other infertility treatments. I am so thankful that for my 2 cycles, doctors appointments, many tests etc. I paid approximately $300.00. I cannot imagine going through these procedures with the added financial stress and burden.

3. The baby growing inside me. It has been so many years of trying, that even now, at 17 weeks, I sometimes cannot believe it is really growing inside me. And then it moves. And the wonderful popping corn motion feels me with such warmth and wonder.

4. The wonderful IF community in blogland. Without them, I would not have been able to deal with the terrible 2 week wait. To see their struggles, successes and failures made me more resolved (esp. after the first cycle went bust). It is wonderful that the internet has brought together such a wonderful community.

5. My husband, who went out and got me a piece of chocolate cake at 10 p.m. when I was depressed and weary and hormonal during the IVF cycle. Who babied me during the Egg Retrieval. Who held my hand during the Embryo Transfer. And now he is such a worry wart with the pregnancy, that he won't even let me lift a grocery bag!

6. My son, who is way too smart to not know what is going on, who has already told everyone in his class that we are not only pregnant, but that they used to call it a "Test Tube Baby". He will make such a wonderful big brother.

Vivid Dream

I had a vivid dream last night that won't leave me. I was in some non-descript somewhere. In between Michigan (where I grew up) and New England. All my family was there (including some people who are dead). Husband’s family too. And I might have been in a hospital, or not, although I recall an outdoors setting. A doctor came up to me and said “It’s all done. Everything is fine now.” And I said “What do you mean? What happened?” The doctor was saying that I had given birth, everything was all set. Did I want to see my child? I was stunned…more because I did not remember going into labor, did not remember giving birth—and I kept telling the dream doctor that.

But soon, they brought out my little baby—and it was a girl! And I was holding my baby girl! It was great and weird, like meeting someone for the first time, but yet, knowing that it was not real. Then, all the family members came around to look. And then I woke up.

Lots of this dream are totally untrue: 1) Most of the family members are going to be 800 miles away (as they were for the first one); 2) Dead people – duh! and 3) Painless childbirth – double duh!

But I do hope that the last one, the baby girl part, is true. Maybe its an omen?!

Well, hopefully, next Tuesday I will know….

80 - 90 --Almost there! More useless things about me!

Current Events - Top Ten Things

81. Felt the baby move for the first time on Sunday while driving home from errands. (Squee!)

82. Everyone in my household needs a HAIRCUT!!! And this morning, as I am pasteing down a collick on my son's hair, he asked if he could have sideburns. (Uh...that's a no!)

83. I want to do a family portrait, since its been a few years, but I am too lazy to set up an appointment to go to the photo shop, and now its almost time where I TOTALLY avoid the mall area (which is only an exit away from us). Hmm...maybe I can con, uh, ask, my brother (who's a decent photog to do it).

84. I have kept, for the last 4 years, an exel spreadsheet of gifts that I give (to whom, what I got them, how much it costs). I am down to buying for about 10 more people. And yet, I STILL forget someone! :-) (Usually the postman)

85. Doing this at lunch time at work. Found out something interesting--the two microwaves in the kitchen--don't try to use both of them at once--they short each other out. Took me 15 mins to cook two things for 5. (Yes, I kept leaving the room).

86. Re-reading Sarah Vowell's "Assassination Vacation" and using it as a guidebook for places I want to visit--(Hey, look, its pieces of Lincoln's skull!).

87. Tonight is my monthly scrap-booking night. I am just too tired, so I planned to go home and just veg with the husband (which considering he was in Montreal on business all last week, was a good idea). Now, it sounds like he is going to work late tonight, which means (a) I wouldn't have been able to go scrapbooking anyway and (b) I won't get to hang out with him tonight.

88. November 27th is my next Ultra-Sound. The one in which we may find out the sex! Bringing Michael along with us, despite it being a school day--its at 9 a.m., he won't miss much--And I can't wait!

89. I am SO craving Pumpkin Pie and Mashed Potatoes and TURKEY. (I have been very very good and not had mashed potatoes in a long time--the Pumpkin Pie--well, when fall officially arrived around the first of October, I did buy one--but, I haven't had one since then!!)

90. Its heavily raining outside right now. Hearing it on the roof of the building, brings me back to rainy mid-afternoons, napping with husband at my dorm room in college. (I need a nap!)

Nutritionist Is Nice

Had the Nutritionist appointment yesterday, and I feel a lot better about things. First off, she thinks I was pretty much on track with my weight, although now I do have to start watching it. Check! Second, she actually knew of and approved the diet I was using to lose weight before I was pregnant (Low Carb for Dummies--good, sensible book) and she wasn't all Atkins. Check!

She and I talked about a pregnancy diet that I (hopefully) can live with. Its not too bad, although I guess my cravings for sweets is definately going to be tested...but she offered some good advice for my chocoholism.

It's mainly a diet used for diabetic pregnancies, with carbs and proteins placed throughout the day (a concept which I am not totally familar with). The usual 6 small meals a day, eat when you are hungry, eat the right foods, etc. So, I hope that I can stick with it, esp. with the Holidays coming...

Next up, that yummy Glucose test next week!

Ten Things About Me Numbers 71 - 80 - Holidays

Continuing with the 100 things about me...

71. My favorite holiday is Christmas, although I would say that the commercialism does tarnish it a bit for me. While I am an athiest, I did grow up Roman Catholic, so I do have fond memories of churches decked out in red and green, and the beautiful music. But, what I mainly like about Christmas is the spirit of giving and good will towards man. I love watching my son's eyes light up when he comes downstairs and sees what Santa has brought. Also like the holiday specials, etc.

72. For Thanksgiving, our tradition is to make our pumpkin pie and other pie (husband does not like pumpkin pie since an unfortunate pie-eating contest, where pumpkin pie stayed in his beard and mustache FOREVER) in the morning. And pie is eaten for breakfast. My son LOVES this tradition.

73. Halloween is a big deal for my son, as seen on earlier posts. It is a favorite of mine, although more because I LOVE to indulge in horror movie watching.

74. During the X-Mas season, I traditionally make chocolate and peanut butter fudge from recipes of my Grammies. I make it in her honor, and usually give most of it away to co-workers, mailman, etc. (Mainly cuz I would eat it--its really good). This is a big thing for me, since I don't really cook that much.

75. On July 4th, we traditionally go to an amusement park in New Hampshire with our friend John. We stay all day, and go out to eat dinner and come back for the fireworks.

76. A clear New Year's memory for me was listening when I was 7 or 8 years old to my father playing in a dance band on the local radio station.

77. Another holiday I like is Hannukah. I like the history and story about the oil lasting 8 days. I like lighting the Menorah. It is peaceful and the colorful candles are very beautiful. I like making Potato Latke's for the first night of Hannukah and inviting friends over to celebrate.

78. I like Labor Day, for the non-labor we do. Usually we go on a long weekend to a beach town. Its a way to say good-bye to the summer.

79. I like that my son's birthday is near President's Day (Feb. 21). And my husband's birthday is on July 5th; and mine is Dec. 25th.

80. I liked the movie "Ground Hog's Day". Its a good movie.

Being overweight sucks...

Went to the OB today. It was my first meeting with my actual Doctor, and while I heard the heartbeat, it was not the best first meeting.

I have gained 14 lbs. so far with this pregnancy. Unfortunately, they (which I did not know until she said it today)wanted me to gain 15 lbs. for the WHOLE pregnancy. So, there...obesity at its best! And, I could tell by her look, that this tall, thin OB thought I was some cake pounding, sandwich scarfing fat woman.

I am disappointed in myself. I had started out so well, eating right (occasionally letting myself have a craving, but generally eating veggies and fruit, 6 small meals a day, etc.) and building up my exercise routine from my IVF/Transfer time back to my regular routine. I was feeling good, and I had gained only 5 lbs. Then I got sick and had the cellulitis. The last week and a half have not been stellar. I was basically on bedrest, couldn't make dinner (and husband can't cook), so we had a LOT of take out/fast food. I knew it was bad, but frankly, I was depressed, sick, tired and bored--not good combinations for eating correctly. No exercise, barely in veggies and good stuff...but, what could I do? And since Saturday, I have been back to building up the exercise AGAIN, and eating right AGAIN...but, there is that 14 lbs. already. ACK!

And here I should be happy because Tadpole is doing great. But, I am depressed.

And the thing that got me was that talking to the OB's assistant last appointment, I told her how I had lost all that weight, how I was so committed to trying not to gain so much weight during this pregnancy. And it was such a positive meeting with her. She even gave me the number to the nutritionist...who I get to see next week. This appointment with the OB tore down all that and made me feel like she thought I had no willpower and was some fat slob.