Class of 2025...

I have a mixture of emotions regarding Michael's graduation from college...I am Proud of him...I am worried about his future...I miss when he was just a little five year old getting ready to go to Kindergarten.

Highlights:

• Having to get there WAY early so that he could be at the location all graduates had to be.
• Hanging out waiting...oh the waiting...lots of waiting...
• Attorney General Andrea Joy Campbell as the Commencement Speaker (she was AweSome!)
• The hour-long wait in the parking lot afterwards 

Guinea pig love...

Seventeen

To say that I am thankful to be celebrating Willow's 17th Birthday today is an incredible understatement.

This last year has been one of the hardest ones for our family and especially for Willow. 

Dealing with Depression and Anxiety, a year ago she was hospitalized with suicidal ideation.  I could barely recognize my daughter, and she was not just a shell of herself.  Not only was she Depressed--she was angry, exhausted, apathetic, desperate. 

She was in the ER under constant watch for 5 days before they were able to get her a bed In-Patient. Those 5 days, one of us was always there with her. We took turns as to who would sleep overnight in the hospital room with her. The hospital made us make sure she did not have elastic or ties in her sweatpants. She could not have her phone unless we were there.  She could not shower without someone (me) being in the shower room with her.  

When she was being admitted to the In-Patient ward, I had an tense meeting with her and the counselors and nurses while I filled out the paperwork. She was being un-cooperative, sullen, withdrawn, scared.  I have never been so scared for someone in my life. She told me she hated me for abandoning her there, and I had to make the decision to leave her there. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, and I am forever grateful that I had the courage to do so.

She was there for a little over 2 weeks.  She spent her 16th Birthday there.

ER

In-Patient room.

Michael brought her his Bluey stuffies.

I can share all this now because it was a year ago and Willow is in such a better place now.  I can share this because Willow's progress over the last year has been impressive.  I can share this because a year ago, I almost lost her---and now its been a year where we have gained her back.

There are still struggles to face and she has more progress to make.  But the crisis is over and we can Celebrate this year to come.

And the humorous, thoughtful, COURAGOUS, intelligent, beautiful person that still is my daughter will be 17 years old!

 

Lizzie Borden Take 2

Decided to gift myself a family outing to the Lizzie Borden house--they have new ownership, so the "production values" were more slick and refined.  I liked it even more!  

Michael decided to stay home and do boring homework (Boo!), but Willow and Chewy came along for the fun...

Willow was dealing with some Depression, but we helped her ride the wave, and she was able to enjoy the rest of the night.

We played Munchkin WarHammer, like we did the last time.  And we stayed in the bedroom of Andrew & Abby Borden (the murder victims).

Something new, and Hope

Willow is starting a new adventure--virtual school!  This was the first week, and it was a marked change from the anxieties and stress of the last two years.  For the first time in a year, I feel hopeful for her!

And...Michael is going to graduate this year!  He has to take two classes this summer to get the credits he needs to officially graduate, but since he is set to do so--he gets to graduate in May!

So, Cap and Gown and nice outfits...and Hope for his future!

Today they had portraits done at school, so he went to class all decked out...handsome!

I am a stress ball of worry...

Sometimes when things are strange, I have this feeling like I am in a dream, like its not quite real.  At that time, everything seems a bit more focused and the colors are more bright, people's faces seem like they are in a close up and I feel like I am drifting through.  

I used to feel this way when I started a new school.  Wandering the halls, trying to get to new classes, etc.  Always had a surreal feeling.  

After a while, things would become routine and the new and strange would become normal.

This happened again when the Pandemic struck.  I remember being at work when they announced that everyone was to go home because the country was in a lock down.  We all gathered in the hallway, and I got that strange dream like surreal feeling.

The next few months were like that too...and then...it became routine and normal.  Now, when I go out somewhere and I see someone wearing a mask, I don't question it.  

And that, THAT is what I fear the most about what is going on in this country.  I worry that our country is in a dream/nightmare state right now---and that things will become normalized.  That a Dictatorship will be normalized.  That Deportations of people who are doing nothing wrong, and in fact are HELPING our country be a better place...will become routine. 

Today, in Massachusetts, there was at least one ICE raid.  Freedoms are being stripped away, and my worst fear is that those who believe in this madness will believe this is a good thing--and that they will force the rest of us to have to adjust.

I cannot. I will not. I will defend those who are dear to me first, but I will also defend those who need defending the most...because this is anything but normal.

TotalCon 2025 Recap

Another year, another Total Confusion gaming convention!

This year was one of those Above Average, Wonderfully Good Years! 

Everyone had fun, even I got to play more than just one or two games, and everyone got along.  

Only MAJOR issue was that the Pool was out of commission this year--Renovations!

Minor issue the first night--we have realized that we have finally gotten to the point that both kids need separate bed areas--so a Cot was procured and the rest of the weekend went well.

We actually started the weekend off early for us--got there on Thursday evening and Chewy was playing a role playing game by 7 p.m. that night.

My highlights were playing a board game event with each kiddo (The Thing with Willow and Santa vs. The Martians with Michael), and playing a role playing game with Willow (who is hilarious when she role plays).  I even got to play a role playing game by myself one evening!  All the games were fun and creative.  

AND Michael had his birthday on that Friday--and thanks to grocery delivery, I was able to get him a surprise cake!

I didn't take as many pictures this year...happily too busy!