Ah, the fun of the after-vacation blues and the pre-IVF cycle jitters

So, back at work today. Not thrilled, but yet its nice to get back into a routine (I guess). Michael's first day of summer day camp starts today. I am a bit nervous for him. And husband has many many deadlines at work to deal with (not like they did not call him almost every day on vacation). Yep, vacation (which was wonderful and will be elaborated on in another post) is definately over.

The good news--my biopsy came back normal, so this cycle is a go. I am going to go ahead, starting Birth Control pills sometime this week. And the nurse was even one step ahead and she is putting a call in for the other meds so they can be delivered by mid-July. I am excited and nervous.

Luckily, I get a little time to re-aclimate myself to our normal routine before I have to go through the IVF routine.

Hopeful

Had our consult on Friday and then had a Hysteroscopy (http://www.gynalternatives.com/hysteroscopy.htm) and a biopsy on Monday. Basically, just to make sure there is no inflammation in my uterus. (Sometimes if the embryos do not implant, it could be because of that). IF there is an inflammation, I take antibiotics, and then we are a go. IF there are no problems, we are a go for IVF #2, although one of the Docs did mention (as he was doing the biopsy) that maybe I want to lose a bit more weight before we try again.

I am a bit conflicted on that, as I have officially lost 65 - 70 lbs. since last year. I frankly don't know if I can lose any more (although he wasn't saying I had to lose a lot--maybe just 5 - 10 lbs). But, I am feeling like part of the reason I have hit a plateau is specifically because of the nature of IVF so I don't know. All I know is that it has always been hard enough to keep myself in the exercise loop, but with the rest required during IVF, along with the nice 'ole hormonal/emotional cravings for things I shouldn't have---it was an achievement to have not GAINED any weight this past cycle. We are going on vacation at the end of this week (great time to try lose weight!!), and AF isn't going to happen until later this month. Maybe I will wait until next month to start the BC's and hope that I can lose a little bit more before July's cycle. I don't know. Part of me wants to just get on to the next cycle and start TRYING something, but since I know we only have 3 cycles that are covered by insurance, I do want the best possible chances on this next one. To add to this, the doctor that we had the consult with (who is my main doctor) did not mention the weight issue--he was more interested in making this protocol a Microflare (the type of protocol done with even older women--higher doses). This will basically mean that instead of 2 shots a day, I will do 4 shots a day. My hormones, which were pretty in check this last cycle, will definately be in an uproar!

So, to IVF in June or July is my hopeful outlook right now. I won't know the results from the biopsy until next week. I am conflicted about the weight issue--any thoughts?

Photo Album blues

My brother brought back a whole bunch of photo albums from Michigan. I have spent some time looking at them, and showing Michael some of the pictures of me as a baby, his dad and me when we first met, Halloween pictures (Michael loves Halloween), etc. Seeing pictures of my grammie (and grandpa K.)filled me with a melancholy that did not get better when a friend called to find out what our beta had said. So, my mood which was getting better had a bit of a hit. I little chocolate therapy helped.

Meanwhile, trying to wait for June 8th to see when I can get back on the IVF horse, I have started to look forward to vacation (June 15-22). We are going to Cape Cod, and while I am a bit concerned that my MIL is coming with us, I am looking forward to it. I intend to not look at ANY IVF or adoption books, articles or blogs (limited internet will help). I have done my typical anal organizational planning--having a daily calendar set up with plans for basically each day (I try to plan only one major thing per day--not to overwhelm oneself, but gee, I hate to do NOTHING!). There is an "Ellen" episode where "Ellen and Laurie decide to take a vacation to San Diego, but tensions flare when Laurie wants to do everything on a schedule and carefree Ellen wants to do things in a relaxed manner". I am the Laurie...I try to turn that part of me down a bit during vacation.