Slaying, Blogging, Whatever...

Chopstick Action

2012-01-27T14:09:00.000-05:00

Today Chewy worked 1/2 day and we went out for lunch at a favorite sushi restaurant.

Willow tagged along and she was exceptional. She had some noodles and it was with pretty great skill that she ate them with chopsticks. She worked and concentrated so hard. We even offered her a fork. She refused and went to work.

With wonder I watched how maturely she worked at this. It struck me at how all these things I take for granted--she has had to learn them. And is still learning them. How much determination and how many times children fail. But yet keep trying. And succeed.

I think I needed to see that. To be reminded.

Mood Lifter

2012-01-26T11:24:00.000-05:00

Driving Chewy into Boston this morning. He likes it when I can...we have some extra time to just be together. Today we talked about the newest Buffy comics. They are considered canonical to the series as Joss Whedon has written them. So "officially" they are Seasons 8 and 9. We talk about the good, bad and not so bad...Season 8 seemed to derail towards the end. Then we talk about other things.

And then he has to take a conference call from work. He tells them he is almost there (a lie--we are stuck in traffic!)

Then, after his call, Willow wants music. And we all listen contentedly to the Beatles as the traffic clears. Looking back I see her grooving to the songs...and I smile.

Little Bit Nervous - UPDATED

2012-01-21T10:38:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, a friend and I were talking about the problem of finding friends for Michael. He is introverted, quirky and his social issues cause him to often be by himself. Or he finds just "one" friend that he likes--and it seems our luck is that then they move away.

She suggested that maybe there was a MeetUp group that we could join. Something for geeky kids to play and do things that he likes to do (like video games, D&D, board games). And it struck me as a "duh!" moment--like, why did I not think of that sooner. That night I went on-line. There was Nada, zip. Nothing for a quirky kid like mine (or even a quirky family like mine).

So I went out of my comfort zone and MADE a group. I called it Quirky Kids MeetUp, put the description out there (essentially, playgroup for ADHD/socially impaired kids). And I figured I would be throwing away $20 for the posting.

I still may be. But tonight at 7 p.m. I scheduled the first Meet Up at Panera Bread. My son and I will be there with his Heroica set and pastries. There are actually a few people who have signed up to meet us there.

I am nervous (I hate small talk, I am introverted, this is totally not something I want to do, I would rather have my more extroverted husband do the talking--but he is going to be home with the distraction, um, preschooler). But I want my son to not only see how to make connections with people, but also maybe actually make a connection or two himself.

I hope this turns out to be the first of many meetings/outings. But even if it is the only one--I feel happy that I went out of my comfort zone and tried to make this happen.

UPDATED:

The meeting went better than I could have expected! People came out despite some snowy roads. The children were very good; and I hope that we can do another MeetUp soon.

SOPA Protest - Free Advice (Random)

2012-01-18T15:04:00.000-05:00

Mel had the idea that instead of shutting down in order to protest SOPA, we should share our best advice instead, to really focus on the wonderful things about the internet that we would have the potential to lose if SOPA passed.

Don't hide behind the camera. This is one that took me a long time to realize. While it is important to get those wonderful milestones/memories...don't let them pass you by while you are recording them. There have been times that I have enjoyed the event/celebration so much more because I choose to participate rather than record.

Children thrive when you give them enriching adventures in diversity. Yes, take them to the museum and the zoo. But also take them to a theatrical show, plays, dances, go to celebrations of the Chinese New Year. Find things that are adventures not just for them, but for you. (My children have seen Chinese Acrobats, Drummers from Africa, Silent Movies with musicians playing, etc.)

Crockpots are awesome! Anything that can make your time more free for your family and yourself--it is worth it.

Reading is the single most important thing you can do. It is the most important thing to teach your children--to enjoy Reading.

Chores

2012-01-17T12:03:00.000-05:00

I ask him to come in the kitchen and help me with dinner. Because the next time we make this dish--I want him to do it on his own. He peels the potatoes and we talk about the chemistry of onions. I show him how to cut the potatoes and then I tell him to put some black pepper on it. And he opens the wrong side of the pepper--and a WHOLE bunch of pepper spills out on a portion of the casserole. I am not upset, in fact, I stifle a laugh. I clean it up best I can. He covers it and puts it into the oven. The satisfied grin on his face is the only indication I receive, but it is enough. I cannot wait to have him make this meal on his own.

(Dad takes the slightly over peppered chicken breast.)

She likes to help too. Today I am putting the dishes into the dishwasher. She comes up to me and asks to help. Gently, I show her how to put the dishes into the machine. She helps with the utensils and puts the

liquid in, shuts the dishwasher. Pushes the buttons.

Both these chores are things that I could do easier without them. But it is great to share with them these activities. Yes, they are taught these chores...but I am also taught patience and care.

Sometimes it is good that I remember that, as there are too many times I think that I am in such a rush to get these things done...that I forget these lessons.

Had an interview...

2012-01-12T12:15:00.001-05:00

on a cold rainy day. The first job (non-staffing agency) interview since the day before Thanksgiving.

Half way through the interview she told me that it was all about timing. It was a good interview. She saw that I was qualified on so many levels. I did well and she "got" me. So well that she knew this was not the position for me. Halfway through, she told me so.

But we continued our pleasant conversation about the job market, job expectations and reality television (we both hate them). I left...well, a little dissapointed that I did not get the job...but, I felt that I am working toward my goal.

Its all in the timing.

Pressing Reset...

2012-01-10T22:04:00.000-05:00

I think that right now I have pressed a "Reset" button to get 2012 started in the right frame of mind.

While my job hunt hasn't been at all bad (I have had interviews and callbacks, etc.) by December I was feeling kinda frustrated and annoyed. I have already redrafted my resume and made call backs to staffing agencies.

Other stresses were starting to wear me down. Certain things that I had resolved to do while I was gainfully unemployed--well, they kinda got forgotten or set aside, or downright abandoned.

So, this week I have taken the time to revitalize and regenerate. Time to get back to trying to paint the upstairs bathroom (well, so far this has been a resolution that I haven't totally embraced--I find this task more daunting, and time consuming, than I thought). I have taken the time to read some books from the library, get moving on my Wii and learn some programming.

I think that while I started off my unemployment with the noble goals above, as well as goals to spend meaningful time with the children...by the time school started, and Chewy went off to Romania, I think I/we got off track.

I think that this New Year thing may actually have something to it. I feel the need to renew finally.

Again to the Mall?

2012-01-09T09:53:00.005-05:00

Something that helps me deal with the Blahs--going out and doing something invigorating! Going to a museum, walking a nature trail...going to the mall (?)Well, this weekend was a mixture of that.

Saturday was really quite fun. We met with a friend and had some wonderful Dim Sum. And then she suggested a nice nature walk. It was a surprise walk, because the place she suggested, we had never been to. And she did not realize that it had just been opened up to people with dogs. So, we entered a WORLD of dogs while we were out on a 50 degree day in January. Muddy shoes and lots of licks by dogs of all shapes and sizes. FUN!

And then there was Sunday. Chewy had plans with some gamers. And I was desperate to do SOMETHING to get out of the house with the kids. But I had run out of ideas and energy to deal with anything too high end. Michael had an idea. An obsessive idea. Santa had gotten Michael a Heroica Lego game set. And it has expansion packs. And he needed ONE MORE set and he would not stop talking about how he was itching to spend some of his money for a set and could we go to the Lego Store? Which could only mean--going to the MALL.

So, I found myself in one of my least favorite places with the kids. Being the mom--I figured out a way to make this work towards a fun day. We got Legos.

We went to the play area near the food court. Where Michael speculated that why Willow sometimes says she does not like certain kids at preschool...is that she is BOSSY (Gasp!!). There were a lot of kids in the little play area. Sometimes it is good to have a big brother to help you get to sit in the front seat of the plastic car.

After that, we exchanged too small of slippers for bigger sized ones and Willow got Lip Gloss(!) with our gift card from Uncle John. Finally, we ate at a fun restaurant and had shakes and burgers.

Later, as we talked over our days in bed, just as my eyes were ready to close...my husband told me that my son said "We spent too much time at the mall today."

Yep.

Blahs

2012-01-06T16:27:00.001-05:00

Talkin' to myself and feeling old.Sometimes I'd like to quit;Nothing ever seems to fit;Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown;Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues:Nothin' is really wrong;Feelin' like I don't belong;Walkin' around, some kind of lonely clown;Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
-- Rainy Days and Mondays by Songwriters: Roger Nichols, Paul Williams

The end of summer started to bring it on. The fall usually would cheer me up but this year all I could think about was the coming winter and the ending summer. The holidays...well, they brought their own baggage, good and bad in its own nostalgic glory.

So here I am. Talking to myself and feeling old.

Feeling a bit isolated and timid about the new year. And sometimes I would like to quit.

I think I have the winter "blahs". Which is funny because we haven't had any snow yet. Or maybe that is the problem. The anticipation of the snow.

Like the anticipation of the job interview. Or the anticipation of changes, big and small in our world.

Just before Christmas I found out our longtime neighbors (they were here before we were) are finally moving (they have been talking about moving for years now). These are the neighbors who have boys around Michael's age. The kid who walks into our house unannounced...will not be anymore. The good news...well, they are not moving far away, just across town--so, one of my big concerns about Michael having this friend, is not so bad--just requires a bit more planning.

But, this comes at a time where we have been debating about our own move. Like them, we did not think we would be in this house as long as we have been. And now...well, now we feel like our hands have been forced to start the long process of evaluating our house, getting it ready to be sold, etc. (Doesn't help that they haven't actually sold their house yet...)

"This couldn't come at a worse time" is a phrase that pops into my head a lot these days.

So many changes and non-changes. So many things are up in the air right now. And I feel, well sometimes I feel...alone.

I guess that is why they call them the Blues.

Haircut

2012-01-04T17:06:00.001-05:00

Last week I took the kids to get their hair cut.

Normally, Willow has been unwilling to sit for haircuts. Sometimes she has sat on my lap or her dad's lap. Most times she has been squirmy.

After the GLUE incident...she got it in her mind that haircuts HURT. So, this last time was a surprise to see how calmly she sat (on her own) for the cut. Not only did she sit by herself without fuss--but she actually let the hairdresser STYLE it. She was such a big girl!

And I had a view of both kids getting their hair trimmed--I could not resist the chance to capture it...

Back in the Saddle

2012-01-02T21:56:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow starts the "back to normal". Which is funny because the "back to normal" usually meant me going back to work. And right now...it means I have plans to take Willow to Ch.uck E. Chee.se tomorrow.

And there are other routines that are going to be added/changed. After school tomorrow I am taking Michael to a Social Skills Group. Four other boys in his age group with two counselors to help them learn how to pick up social cues and interact socially. This will be instead of behavioral therapy, once a week.

Also, Chewy has agreed to have a written schedule to try and control his out-of-control work schedule. Because he is driving us all insane with his working-all-the-time gig. (On that note, it was nice that Chewy took this past week off for the holidays! We (meaning me and Michael) finally enjoyed watching the Walking Dead and we got some solid quality time with him.)

And me--well, I am back on the trail for a job. I have a staffing agency interview in Boston on Wednesday. A job interview next Thursday. I have revised my resume once again and put it online.

Did this vacation/holiday break refresh me? Hardly. I was (and still am a little) sick most of December (mostly head/sinus/throat issues). There has been some harsh reality checks and discussions and there has been some sleepless nights.

But I am hopeful that we can start this new year off with better footing and a better grasp at what needs to be done this year. I am hopeful that I will have a job soon.

And while I wouldn't mind a little more sleep--I am ready for the tasks ahead.So, 2012...Bring It!

Talking Tina, Buffy and Botana

2012-01-01T20:09:00.000-05:00

New Years Traditions old and new.

Last night Chewy had his annual New Year's Gaming night. To go along with our latest Buffy obsessions, a Buffy RPG (Role Playing Game) was played. Michael got to play as Spike. I was to play Cordelia, but the game ended early due to various interruptions. It was still a fun night with friends.

I made sure to make our annual Botana for New Years. I am actually making another one tomorrow.

And then there is the Twil.ight Z.one Marathon. Such a tradition in our house. Even though Chewy and I know almost every episode. Even though Michael knows a lot of them. Even though we have a lot of the seasons on DVD. We watch. Not all of the marathon. But we check in and we say "Oh, it's the Talking Tina one! Or the Obsolete Man!" And there we are watching it. It has been so fun to have this tradition with Michael.

And then today...a tradition I hope can continue. Going over to a friend's house and hanging out with them, enjoying their company as they declared "Open House" for their friends with children. It was so fun to know that our kids were going to be occupied while we got to hang out with the adults. (Well, most of them...we do have an in-between-ager--so he was not always so amused).

Now, back to some black and white television...

Glimpses of Christmas Morning...

2011-12-26T19:39:00.000-05:00

Surprise!

2011-12-25T14:47:00.000-05:00

So, Chewy did the almost impossible and was able to surprise me with a Birthday Dinner last night.

We went to a Japanese Steakhouse (which is our tradition on Christmas Eve) for a birthday dinner. I was thinking it was a bit early (3 p.m.) for a dinner, but that was when he had it scheduled. Little did I know it was so that everyone could coordinate to be there!I was surprised to see family and friends there to greet us!

A great time was had by all!

Everyone awaiting the food!

Fire!!

I love Willow's reaction to the fire...

Willow just being cute...

Getting sake poured down my throat was not exactly what I thought I would be doing that night...

And then....my friend Ana surprised me with a PERFECT Cake for me!!

Yay, Zombie Cake!!

With chocolate hands and worms and eyeballs!!

I LIKE IT!

Willow was also impressed!

Michael wanted a hand!

Willow eating an eyeball!

2011-12-24T21:26:00.000-05:00

Photo from HERE. (Hmmm...I will have to look into this for next year!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS to Everyone from our house to yours!!!

Pre-School Gift

2011-12-22T12:06:00.000-05:00

What I love about getting gifts from Preschool....

I love that especially in Pre-school, the care givers know how important the little trinkets are, especially with their photo on them!It is so nice to have this keepsake, with the date, her picture--and those cute little hands!

Willow is off Pre-school until Wednesday. Right now we are having yet another viewing of Rudolph (her favorite x-mas character/story so far)--so appropriate, considering the frame above. Before then, we played a "Hello Kitty" Matching Game that Ana gave her as a present last night. (We liked playing it a lot!)

Let the Latkes Begin!

2011-12-21T22:25:00.000-05:00

Our first night of Hanukkah Latke Dinner was postponed by one day because of Michael's holiday concert at school.

So, tonight, the second night of Hanukkah, we had some friends over and had a great time making latkes and enjoying the Hanukkah lights. Ana came by with a couple of her furry pals. Willow enjoyed playing with Rykka and Jule, German Shepards that she has known all her life. Our friends Paul and John rounded out our table.

We had apples and caramel dipping sauce, LATKES, pot roast and vegetable medley. Some jellied filled pastries and gelt finished the meal.It was fun, especially when Ana took over the latke making part--she did a great job! (Meanwhile, I left a plastic spatula in hot oil--and fried a spatula to death!)

After dinner, we had a game of Driedal. Michael won (which is only fair, as the children usually get all the Gelt anyways!)

Willow has a sweet tooth like you would never believe. As soon as she got home she wanted chocolate from the advent calendar. After she was diverted, she was fine--until she saw those Gelts! She had a little fit about having them before the game had started...but in the end, she did indeed get two of them.

Everyone had tons of latkes and plenty of fun!

I am so glad we do this tradition, it is so much fun to share in the holiday spirit.

Angel Chimes - Updated

2011-12-19T21:13:00.000-05:00

I remember them very well. My Grammie would bring them out during the holidays and as I got older, she would let me help her set them up and light them. Each and every time they were lit, I would be entranced with the spinning angels and the bell chimes. I loved watching the patterns of the metal and light on the ceiling, dancing light. And then, when it was time for birthday cake--she would switch the angels out with dancing clowns with a horse on top.

I remember them and yet I have no idea why I haven't bought any until now. You would think I would have wanted to have this tradition as soon as I had my own family. But somehow I think it was HER tradition for so long...that I could not bring myself to make them mine.

This year, I felt the need for them. I bought a cheap set--I have no idea if they will last this season. At least they come with the clowns, so I hope to bring them out for birthdays, just as she did.

This evening, we had them burning while we ate dinner. And Willow noticed the patterns of metal and light spinning on the ceiling. The children sat eating their dinner and watching the patterns and listening to the chimes.

Later, after they had jostled each other for the honor of blowing out the candles, after they left the room to watch a Christmas cartoon...my husband and I re-lit the candles. And I watched the angels spin.

UPDATED:For those interested in getting your own angel chimes, I found this cheap set at on-line at Miles Kimballs (Ama.zon also has them). My Grammie's set was quite well made, not sure where she got it from. The chimes are a Swedish tradition.

20 Questions - Christmas Style

2011-12-18T07:53:00.001-05:00

20(ish) Questions - Christmas Style
I am ~~stealing~~ sharing this from from Kristen...feel free to also ~~steal~~ share

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? I prefer wrapping paper, although I am not the best wrapper. Bags are good for big presents though.

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial. I can have it around longer, I have a Black Thumb and I don't need more chaos in my life. So, the nice hinged tree unfolds and I am happy.

3. When do you put up the tree? Per my family's tradition, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Originally, when I was a girl, this was a practical choice. Now, it is the tradition.

4. When do you take the tree down? Per family tradition, on New Year's Day.

5. Do you like eggnog? I am the only one in our family that does. I LOVE it, and especially like making french toast with it. Yum!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Kinda hard to pick one...I remember the Barbie Townhouse, the Barbie convertible, the race track...and numerous bikes!

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Nope.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My mom.

9. Easiest person to buy for? The kids. It is hard for me to not overbuy for them.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Email sounds so tacky...does anyone really do that? Snail mail!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I don't really have one. I have had some that I was not as thrilled with when I received them...and then later on found them very useful.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? That is a toughie! I love the George C. Scott "A Christmas Carol" and I also love "Its a Wonderful Life" and "White Christmas".

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Generally in September/October.

14. Ever recycled a Christmas present? Yep.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Grammie's fudge; candies; homemade goodies; chocolate covered cherries; pumpkin pie, turkey.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Was going to do clear lights this year for a change, but son would not have any of that! So, colored and blinking it is!

17. Favorite Christmas song? I love a lot of songs during Christmas...it is hard for me to come up with just one...I like the traditional ones I grew up hearing, but I also like these songs because they share a universal message of peace and love that I especially find joyful.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? When we were younger we did travel to Michigan to see our family; but with our children it is more practical (and fair for them) to stay at home. We always welcome others to visit us!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yes, as should you. But do you recall, the most famous reindeer of all?! Rudolph is a BIG hit with Willow.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Santa Hat! Although Willow seems to want a star. I suppose we could find a Star of David?

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Because of my birthday, we open presents on Christmas Eve; Christmas Morning is for Santa presents and Christmas day is for Birthday cake with dinner!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? I get annoyed when the music and the decorations start in the beginning of November.

23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color? I don't have a theme, per say, although Snowmen are a close proximity of a theme. We also have a lot of personal ornaments that mean more to us than whether or not they fit a theme.

24. What do you want for Christmas this year? Well, officially, for my birthday, I want a new digital camera. But for Christmas--I just would like a promise that the new year will be better than the old...

Five More Days; Ten More Days...

2011-12-15T17:56:00.002-05:00

It seems that the older I get, the quicker the seasons seem to go...the faster the holidays approach and then they are gone.

I was surprised with Halloween and then totally lost track of time with Thanksgiving.

And now, as the kids opened their chocolate Advent calendars today...the rhyme mentioned that there are only ten more days until Christmas.

There are only five more days until the start of Hanukkah.

I have all the presents and the decorations, I have listened to many a holiday song...haven't gotten to viewing all our favorite movies/shows but we are working on them. (Yesterday, Michael and I watched the MST3K Santa Claus--it was hillarious as ever--picture me laughing and then coughing and then laughing some more)

But I still don't feel ready for the holidays! Maybe part of that is because I don't have all the food items yet...maybe. Or maybe it just has been sneaking up to me again. I always think I have more time than I do.

Ah, well. The season is upon us...really really.

General Chaos--with Sore Throated Goodness!

2011-12-11T22:20:00.005-05:00

It started Wednesday night. I thought it was a cold. Seemed to get better. Although almost called off a babysitter on Thursday because I was still feeling kinda "eh". Sore throat on and off this weekend. ALMOST went to the doctors on Friday, but thought I was feeling better...and now it is Sunday night and I am still with sore throat. So, I guess tomorrow I will be going to the doctor's office. I assume I have strep. Ugh.

The weekend was a bit off because when I am the sick one, all organization and planning goes to hell. But things still needed to be done. The kids needed to be out of house on Friday evening for daddy to do some work. So, off we went on a planned outing to see the holiday lights at the zoo. It was really fun to go to the zoo, see the animals, see the lights, etc. Willow especially had a great time seeing the little holiday displays.

Saturday I plunged into things that needed to be done and a lunch that I already had planned with a friend. And Chewy took the kids to one of their favorite places--Chuck E. Cheese!

Today, I just was not up for much, so we stuck close to home. We watched a holiday movie in the morning, went to a nursery and saw all their Christmas Trees on display.

Then in the evening...Willow went to her first child friend Birthday party! It was at a local bouncy place and they had pizza and cake (DIEGO!! So, Willow was thrilled) She would not stop talking about the party and her friends from Preschool who were there. I think she is ready for a full fledged party this April (probably at Chuck E. Cheese)!

While she was at the party with Chewy, Michael and I went to the store to buy his holiday gifts for people. He was a bit hyper tonight, so getting him to stay focused in the toy section was hard. And he at first chose to find the most annoying and loud toys possible for Willow--luckily they were not in the budget I had allowed him. He ended up buying something really nice for her--and it came by accident. He had already picked out something for her and we were in the checkout. And he saw these tall Robot toys. And he pointed out that that was what he really would like to buy her, but "too bad she is not a boy". We looked at it further, and I really think she will like it--so, I said "hey, why not?" and he agreed. So, she is getting a robot toy from her brother for Christmas. (Robots seemed to be a theme--he bought someone else Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots).

(He hasn't bought my gift yet--he wants it to be a surprise--but I did point out to him some DVDs that are coming out soon that I wouldn't mind getting...)

The evening ended with Michael getting to bounce along with his sister, and the family getting to have some birthday pizza and cake for dinner. Then home and watching an episode of Buffy. Getting the kids to bed was a toughie tonight.

So, this weekend was busy and yet not as busy as it could be. I am sick, but felt like I wasn't as sick as I could be (until now).

Oh, and while I was out shopping with Michael--I got a nice Peppermint Hot Chocolate for my throat--and that wasn't too bad at all.

Ice Skating

2011-12-09T09:50:00.004-05:00

I loved Roller Skating when I was a kid. Skating and biking and then biking and skating. I loved being on wheels.

I have never done Ice Skating. But, being a good New Englander, I have given my kids opportunities to learn it.

This was Willow's second lesson. We shall see if she is interested enough to do the seven week course (if she is, I will have to buy her some used skates).

She was not as confident as she was last week. And she found that if she fell, she could then slide along on her legs and crawl (now that this week she had snowpants on).

I asked her afterwards if she wanted to do it again...and I got a tepid response. Luckily, classes do not restart until after Christmas...so I will gauge her enthusiasm later this month before signing up.

Voices

2011-12-06T23:50:00.004-05:00

Searching for another CD, I found it. I knew it was there somewhere, a thoughtful gift that I thoughtfully put away.

There was dust on it. And I suddenly felt like I needed to hear it. I had forgotten what time of year it was recorded. Christmas messages for someone in a foreign land.

I initially took it out and played it in the car as a novelty for the kids--for my son who would appreciate it. There are other tracks on the CD that I knew would interest him more. Some old college audio projects, his mother interviewing his father for a project. (Now I listen and realize where I made mistakes and how I could have done it so much better. Lessons learned from time and experience.)

Later, I keep the CD in the car. And as I drive alone I replay the first few tracks. The tracks that were not meant for me. I was not yet born. Although I was mentioned and thought of. I listen to voices and realize what I have lost. What I have found.

I listen to a woman I did not know at all. And one I knew well, but had almost forgotten how she pronounced certain words, for some reason her pronouncing "chicken" sticks with me as only she would say it. She is stilted on this recording and I can tell she is uncomfortable talking into a microphone. And yet, I listen with my eyes closed as I sit in the drive way. She is so much younger in this recording and I am trying to reconcile her voice on the recording to the voice I was so familiar with. It is a short time on this recording. It is not enough. And yet it is.

Grammie's Fudge

2011-12-05T07:56:00.010-05:00

He couldn't read my Grammie's cursive handwriting...

One of my favorite parts--opening the evaporated milk. McDonald's bag from Breakfast--we had a sleepover and the kids wanted it. Muppets Christmas album with John Denver on in the background.

We are all still in our pajamas...lazy Sunday morning.

And the rest is YUM!

Birthday Cake!

2011-12-03T20:54:00.003-05:00

Michael, Willow and I went to Kirsten and Lorelei's Birthday Party today.

My nieces enjoyed their cake as only one year olds can. It was fun and a bit bittersweet to see them playing with their cake. I was remembering as I videotaped them how not too long ago I was capturing my own daughter on her first birthday.

And then. I was brought back to reality.

And the need for me to go get her some water.

Happy Birthday!

2011-12-01T00:16:00.002-05:00

Piglet: How do you spell love?
Pooh: You don’t spell it, you feel it.

"It's so much more friendly with two." -- Winnie the Pooh

The more it snows (Tiddely pom),
The more it goes (Tiddely pom),
The more it goes (Tiddely pom),
On snowing. And nobody knows (Tiddely pom),
How cold my toes (Tiddely pom),
How cold my toes (Tiddely pom),
Are growing.

-- Winnie the Pooh

Happy 1st Birthday to my nieces, Lorelei and Kirsten!

It has been amazing to watch you two grow and to see my brother and sister-in-law grow into the role of parents. That first year is tough for all...but you guys have made it and now the real fun of being a family begins!

Every story and picture, every new milestone...reminds me how quickly it goes and how wonderful it is to be a part of your life. Thank you for being my nieces!

Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday for your party!

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 30

2011-11-30T06:23:00.000-05:00

In the first novel and radio series, a group of hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings demand to learn the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything from the supercomputer, Deep Thought, specially built for this purpose. It takes Deep Thought 7½ million years to compute and check the answer, which turns out to be 42. The Ultimate Question itself is unknown. -- Wikipedia re The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I will be 42 in less than a month.

I thought I would know more than I do at this age. But the longer I live, the more I have learned that the ultimate answer is not necessarily 42. I think it would take me 7 1/2 million years to really understand how the universe works.

Right now I am in a kind of limbo in my life, mainly because of my job (or lack thereof) situation.

Yet another prospect has told me that I "set the bar high" that I was "exceptional" but I was their second choice.

Unfortunately, in my head I had already started the "hope" game. Where I was already strategically figuring out the next steps to be had after getting this job. I was so confident that I had nailed this one. And it was a nearly perfect fit, logistically, financially and career-wise.

I feel proud of how I have been handling this lay off and the job hunt. But I am weary. And my choices in life and career can be laid bare to me at such a time.

At this time of year, with the holidays, with getting another year older...it often becomes a reflective time. Usually the hectic schedule of the holidays and work keep me from being overly melancholy.

Don't get me wrong, part of me is happy that I am going to have this time of year off with my children and family.

But part of me wants the normalcy of routine (not to mention the accomplishment and money) of a job. My job doesn't define me. But it does make me feel more like a contributing member of our family.

Despite the limbo, despite the weariness, I am looking positively at the coming year. Hopefulness will return to me as I look at more prospects in the coming year.

So. 42. Let's see where you take me.

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 29

2011-11-29T08:02:00.004-05:00

I have decided to once again participate in November. To read more about NaBloPoMo please click HERE.

I love hearing about other people's traditions during this Holiday Season. Not only is it interesting, but it gives me ideas for new traditions for our family. A tradition that I find very nice is new pjs for Christmas, where on Christmas Eve children (or the whole family) receive new pajamas. I like the fact it is something practical and also something that can make your Christmas morning photos more fun. I did this last year for the first time and both kids loved it. (In fact, the pjs I got Michael is one of his favorites).

This year I went overboard (there was a sale) and I not only bought special pjs for the kids for Christmas Eve, but also new pajamas for now...

Modeling her Holiday Pjs.

Perfect Moment Monday - A visit with Santa

2011-11-28T06:05:00.001-05:00

On the 4th Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. The next Perfect Moment Monday event will be on December 26.

To participate in Perfect Moment Monday:

Follow Write Mind Open Heart.

Between the Sunday night before and the Sunday night after, write up your own Perfect Moment.

Use LinkyTools on her website to enter your name (or your site/blog name) and the URL of your Perfect Moment.

Visit the Perfect Moments of others and let the writers know you were there with some comment currency.

Despite the fact that I am all into the Santa part of Christmas, I have never been one for the photo with Santa tradition. I just found it too forced or too annoying for me to stand in line for my child to be "processed". I am sure that it is not that way everywhere, but my limited experiences had shown me that it was more often than not, an experience I could easily do without. Michael did not seem to have the need to visit Santa (a letter and a special trip to a mailbox did fine--as well as one year a letter FROM Santa at the North Pole). I haven't regretted or missed that tradition in the least.

But, yesterday we were at The Enchanted Village and after the exhibit, Willow saw Santa was receiving children. She almost ran up to him right to him (she would have, if I hadn't held her back). And the line was short. And I decided, why not? This Santa impressed me. He took time with each child. One child in front of us had brought a letter for him which he then took the time to read and talk to her about it. No feeling of rushing and a lot of cuddle and warmth. Each child was someone, not someone to be photographed and off. So...my children saw Santa (who welcomed a reluctant Michael onto his lap with a "hey, pal, come up right here" as if he understood a 13 year old big brother).

The Enchanted Village will definitely be a new tradition...and Santa, well, it may be a tradition that Willow would like to have too.

Day 27 - I guess I cannot escape it...

2011-11-27T06:43:00.000-05:00

the Holiday Season is upon us! And I am finally starting to get some Holiday spirit along with that. I have most of my shopping already done (hey, Black Friday--I scoff at you in September)!

Yesterday we watched Rudolph and Heat Miser (aka Year Without A Santa Claus) and then went into the the town center for the big Holiday festival that is held annually. This year we were pleasantly attired and were quite warm. Last year we were freezing ourselves silly.

This year we did the hay ride around the town square, and watched the ice sculptures being made (quickly or else they were going to melt) and had some clam chowder from the Cub Scouts and fried dough from the Lion's Club. Willow and Michael feed llamas, goats and sheep at the petting farm. Oh and a glimpse of Santa Claus (Willow wanted to gate crash instead of standing in a long line).

A girl said "Hi Michael!" and Michael silently skulked away saying that he hated her. And Chewy noted that that silent "Angel like broody thing" is working for the boy (it really seems to, this happens a lot in public places--girls saying hi to him, I mean).

We also got to see the town square decorations and lights.

Speaking of decorations, here are some pictures of ours:

One of our Hanukkah decorations. (Starts December 20th this year)

Snowmen.

Santa, of course--and Chewy's head--yeah, he has hit Santa and his reindeer a lot already.

Part of the tree--we are very eclectic with our ornaments, especially with special ones. And, of course, I have lost control of making it look "right" cuz I let the children put them on. (Oh my the fights to put on the garlands on...and Willow kept putting decorations on...and then off...and then on...and then playing with them...and Michael "correcting" her choices of putting things places...and then exclaiming he was TIRED and were we done yet....but I digress...)

Another picture of the tree. Santa hat as a topper.

Now the fun part of having the decorations and the tree--trying to keep the cats (KIF!) and Willow from destroying them! (And this is why some of our decorations stay in the box this year!)

Day 26 - Decorating the Willow Way

2011-11-26T10:26:00.003-05:00

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 25

2011-11-25T12:58:00.002-05:00

I have decided to once again participate in November. To read more about NaBloPoMo please click HERE.

Because we have a lot planned this weekend, we are putting our decorations up today. Our tradition is usually for the Saturday after Thanksgiving, but a day earlier is not a biggie.

The weird thing of it is...well, usually I am all hyper about getting the decorations up and getting going on it first thing. And well, I came home from Thanksgiving dinner at our friend's house...and promptly saw my T-day dinner in a bucket (ahem).

So, slow start to the day. I think I am fine (at 50%) but considering the most we are doing is going to the Muppets movie...I am fine.

Started off late on the decorating. And then some friends of Michael's came by. And then they wanted to go off to the park. And since we want to encourage Michael's social skills/connections as often as possible...off he went.

So that left me and Willow and reluctant Chewy. Willow and I have dug into one of the boxes and have done some discovering and re-discovering. It is so amazing to watch her look at each decoration and our wealth of holiday books. So I slowed it down so I could watch her enjoy. And I had semi-forgotten all the new things I had bought at the end of the season last year (doesn't it seem like I was just putting these things away!?).

So, it is 1 p.m. and we haven't gotten the tree up yet. Michael is out somewhere, Willow is looking at holiday books. Chewy is taking a nap. And while I hate the fact that there are boxes and a disassembled tree on my living room floor right now (I hate clutter, even though my life seems to perpetuate it)...I am fine with that.

Let the holidays come slowly this year.

Turkey Day Reflections

2011-11-24T06:55:00.001-05:00

This year has been full of ups and downs. Low points and high points. I wish I could say the turbulence has settled down, but it has not.

Sometimes I like the roller coaster. But sometimes I would like things to just be like they are on Thanksgiving weekend.

We all are relaxed, we are all together. And, except for a couple of sniffles (me), we are all healthy. We have each other.

I am thankful that we are at ease with each other. That my children have had the benefit of having me at home with them these past few months. That we have friends to celebrate the holidays. That I have on-line friends who help me through the day, and lift me up when I am down.

That we have a home. That we have cuddly pets.

That we have we.

That I have you.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Day 23

2011-11-23T06:57:00.000-05:00

This day before Thanksgiving is a bit unusual for us. Normally, we would both be at work, Michael would have a half day and then go to after school program, Willow at her daycare. She is the only one having a normal before T-Day day.

I will be having a job interview this morning; Chewy has decided to take a day off--which is good, considering the hours he has been working since September!

Chewy will pick up Michael after school. And I will meet up with them after my interview. And we will pick up Willow last of all, later in the afternoon. We don't have to travel far for our Thanksgiving get together, so this evening is our own. I think we will spend it relaxing and low key.

We have a big, long weekend of plans and today is the calmest (well, for some--I am nervous/anxious about the job interview).

Changes

2011-11-22T06:40:00.000-05:00

Change is something we struggle with in our household. Michael likes schedules and I am an organizer and I do not like things that screw schedules up.

But change seems to be all around us.

The doctor that diagnosed Michael has moved us on to a psychiatrist for monitoring of his medications. Yesterday, his long time behavioral therapist called to tell me that she is being moved onto adult patients only. Which means that tomorrow is our last appointment with her. We will have to consult the psychiatrist as to what therapist he would recommend...at least that person should be closer to home.

And of course there is the issue with after school care for him. Which may have to be dealt with sooner rather than later--as I may be getting the ultimate change, a new job.

So, the next few weeks, months are going to be tough for all of us. But the one I worry about the most is Michael because he has had many many changes to deal with recently.

I hope that we can transition smoothly to whatever changes are in store.

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 21

2011-11-21T11:27:00.002-05:00

Once again Michael has achieved High Honors at school!

Seventh Grade has been more of the same, yet different for Michael. He is not learning a new school now, he is a part of it. However, being in seventh grade does me more responsibilities and more band practice and a switch to Spanish from French.

I cannot believe that a month from now it will be time for the Holiday Concert!

The school year is going by so quickly--so it is nice to get the first term report card and see how well he is doing academically.

Day 20 - The Bullets, The Bullets...

2011-11-20T11:22:00.002-05:00

I have decided to once again participate in November. To read more about NaBloPoMo please click HERE.

In bullets because it is Sunday and I really don't have a coherent thought for a post...

MineCraft has now invaded imaginary play. Earlier this morning, Willow and I were alternatively zombies, werewolves, creepers, skeletons and wolfs/puppies. Michael fought us with diamond swords, pix axes and the sun.

Lazy Sunday today, more in anticipation of the coming Thanksgiving weekend and the many activities planned. Lazy meaning I am on the computer in my pjs, Michael is playing an X-Box game, Willow is snuggling with Kif on the couch, Chewy is upstairs taking a nap. And it is almost noon.

Gaming night on Friday was Lord of the Fries; Michael won, I was last place although I was filling orders the quickest at the beginning (I guess my zombie brain burned out!)

We re-watched Captain America this Thursday night, and while I liked it a lot and thought it was a good comic book movie--I say it is still not the best one. (Spider-Man 2 is the best comic book movie so far, I would say).

With the weather getting cooler, I am definitely itching for more time for Board Gaming.

There is a jar of eyeballs on the desk. I see that decoration from Halloween that has been forgotten to be packed away. Wonder if I will just leave it. (Heck, for a time, before we had kids, we had a brain and a hand in a jar in the bathroom. Year round.)

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 19

2011-11-19T16:01:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite movies, Watership Down is playing in the background. And it is now Willow's favorite movie--usurping Winnie the Pooh at the moment. I know, because this is the third time in less than 24 hours that it has been playing. Last night we watched it. And this morning. And now--watching it again.

The first two times I watched it with her. Luckily, Uncle John has come to visit so that he can watch it with her now.

Oh, and she is eating carrots.

This all comes from gaming--last week we were playing Bunnies and Burrows, which is based on Watership Down. So I had it in my head--and so when I pulled out some children's movies to watch last night--well, it was among them. And Willow took the deceptive looking cover of cute bunnies to heart. And since she is enamored of monsters and Buffy, etc., the blood in it is actually not a bother for her.

Looking at it now as an adult, I am amazed at the wonderful animation and soundtrack, the great voices. It has stood up to the test of time.

I think I may have to dust off the book...I have gotten into the mood for it now.

Although, I have no idea how many more viewings before I am completely sick of these bunnies...

Are there classic movies (animated or otherwise) that you cannot wait to show your children?

Post 18 of 30 Days -- Geek Alphabet

2011-11-18T06:38:00.000-05:00

Some Friday Fun!

Geek Alphabet

The Story of the Grape

2011-11-17T11:18:00.004-05:00

So yesterday I found that she still had that "baby" grape. Not only did she still have it in all its shriveled up glory, but she was using a small baby bottle to "feed" it. She was giving loving care and milk to a grape. I decided to let it go and see where this would lead.

Then last night, it happened. The baby was not where she thought she left it. She was upset, especially since it was such a baby and needed her. I told her that probably it got lost or maybe one of the cats ate it (I really don't know what happened to it). I figured this would be the time to put a stop to this and even though she was upset, she was not inconsolable, and she was starting to understand that it was just gone.

And then daddy came in with a new grape. And said that he found the baby grape and it had grown! And oh, was she so happy and wide-eyed! And proud that she had made it grow. (Sometimes we are not always on the same page on the parenting--I think Chewy is a little more protective of his daughter)

And then after she was so happy with it...she chose to eat it. Yep.

Day 16 - PINK EYE!

2011-11-16T15:30:00.004-05:00

One of my favorite South Park Episodes...

So, yesterday while at the zoo I noticed Willow's right eye looked kinda puffy and red...and I knew. Oh, I knew. It was conjunctivitis. But, I was hoping I was wrong. Because today was a Preschool day and I wanted a day freed up for other adult-doings.

But this morning--the left eye looked puffy. Michael had pink eye a LOT when he was her age, so I remembered it well. And I even had some of his eye drops left...but worried that their effectiveness would not be as good as getting new drops for her. (And I wanted confirmation that there was no other illnesses brewing)

Off to the pediatricians. And then we did some adult-doings anyways at Tar.get. And then off to the pharmacy for expensive eye drops.

That I have now administered to not only her (3 times a day for 5 days)but to ME. Because I always get the Pink Eye when the kids do.

Day 15

2011-11-15T15:11:00.003-05:00

It was such a nice day today, Willow and I went to the zoo!

One thing that I do appreciate about having time off is that I am getting a lot of time to have individual time with each child. When I am working, the time I have with them has to be divided up between them and homework, dinner, and millions of other domestic tasks.

Now, I have days when I have the day with Willow (until I have to pick up Michael from school). And I have days where I don't have her, but after school, Michael and I have a few hours together before we have to pick her up from preschool.

So, today, I took her to the zoo. It was very nice to go with just her. To stay at exhibits that she wanted to go to. To spend the time that she needed to see things. And, afterwards, we went out for lunch. Just me and her.

oh, and some animals...

Day 14 - Weekend Snippets

2011-11-14T09:11:00.003-05:00

They play with the stuffed animals and she directs the play. Occasionally I hear him ask if he really has to play the part of the "baby" to her "mommy". The fun part is when she switches gears--and somehow they are now superheroes and werewolves. To hear him rev up with the new direction is fun. I wonder that a near four year old somehow has figured out a near thirteen year old's interests.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

EVERYTHING is family sets. Even grapes. She finds an extremely small grape in the group. And holds it and shows me. She exclaims "how cute!" and then says she wants to put it in water so it can grow. I explain how that won't work. And then she plucks off a small grape and says that it is it's brother. And then a bigger grape...the mother. She holds them in her hands, the baby, brother and mom. I finally ask her if she wants me to get a cup to put them in. She hold the cup for about an hour. Then she disappears for a while. I find out that she has distributed the grapes. The baby grape is in her room; brother grape in her brother's room; the mom grape in my room. (mom and brother eliminated those grapes a while ago--the baby grape is still in her room...I am kinda afraid to throw it away yet)

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Big brother piggy back rides, give way (after he swears he cannot do it anymore) to a big brother tickle fest that is joined by me. He is not as ticklish as he used to be. But his sister and I find a way.

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Spontaneously, she decides that she wants to direct the seating at the dinner table. She decides to set the table (she has NEVER done this before). I help her finish it off. And then later I see her taking napkins out and trying to fold them into something to decorate each place. (I hope she does this at Thanksgiving--it is cute as pie!)

Day 13 - Dentist!

2011-11-13T06:37:00.002-05:00

Yesterday Willow went to the Dentist for the 2nd time. Well, technically the first time since this was the time he actually counted her teeth and brushed her teeth.

We have had the same Dentist since we moved out here in 1993. I like him a lot. One of my favorite things about him is that he is genuinely a nice guy. He owns a farm, he likes to keep bees, he enjoys life and is a good person to recommend a good restaurant in the area. And he loves his job and enjoys kids. And he thoroughly enjoyed giving Willow her check up!

First, big brother Michael went. I thought I would be in the waiting room with Willow, but the Dentist asked if Willow could "help" him. So, she went in with daddy and Michael. And I could hear him asking her where he had to put things, showing her "Mr. Thirsty" and joking with her and Michael.

At Michael's check up the Dentist decided he was old enough to have some x-rays done--so Willow and daddy left the room. After he developed the x-rays, he let Michael look at them too. He took the time to explain things to the always inquisitive Michael. Michael has no cavities, but still has some baby teeth (two have recently fell out), with grown up teeth slowing emerging under them. I got to see the x-rays too, and it was very cool to see those teeth underneath other teeth.

Then it was Willow's turn. Michael and I stayed in the room. Again the Dentist asked her where did he put his gloves...on his elbows? His ears? Oh, right--on his hands! And the mask? Oh, it doesn't go on his ear--or the top of his head like a hat--oh, no it goes on his nose and mouth!

He counted her teeth and said they were great and coming in fine! She got to pick out what flavor of toothpaste (bubble gum) and he brushed her teeth, giving her breaks to use the water and cup and spit into the little sink like she had seen her big brother do.

Oh and of course, the kids got treasures---a new toothbrush for each (Princess & the Frog one for Willow) and a Scooby Doo Sticker--and a treasure from the treasure box! (Michael got a whoopee cushion, Willow got a bracelet that she has been constantly wearing ever since then).

Here are a couple of blurry pics from my cell phone:

Willow sucking and making noises with "Mr. Thirsty".

After the tooth brushing--and spitting the water out (and wiping herself with the dental bib--and making it into a hat)

PLEASE NOTE: Both Chewy and I asked about her thumb sucking--and the Dentist said that we shouldn't worry about it until she reaches six years old (if she is still doing it at that point). It is not affecting her teeth at all right now. (so, pffft to that Sub.way counter guy who wouldn't give Willow her cookie until she took her thumb out of her mouth!)

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 12

2011-11-12T06:43:00.000-05:00

Michael is in the in-between stage between child and young adult/teen. For example, a while back we were at the mall and he saw a sister and brother coming from Bui.ld A Be.ar. They had made stuffed animals and dressed them up as Princess Leia and Darth Vader. He mentioned that he thought we should take Willow there sometime soon and do the same. I said "sure, sometime" and left it at that. BAB can be expensive and it is an indulgence that I felt we did not need.

Until yesterday. With both kids home for the holiday, our plans changed with the weather...and my suggestion of places included the Mall. (I was thinking the play area for small kids in the food court). Immediately Michael reminded me of the Bui.ld A Be.ar plan.

And I found myself taking them to an overcrowded mall to go get expensive stuffed animals.

I justified it by saying it is an early Hannukah present for each of them.

And he is not getting any younger.

And they are kids...and sometimes you need to indulge.

After getting them dressed up.

Willow did not get one dressed as a Star Wars character--they only had Darth and Jedi's and she wanted--well, she wanted PRETTY. So, she got a dog, she dressed in a white snowflake dress--name is Jack.

Jack is very happy to hang out with Willow.

Michael, of course, got a Bunny Rabbit that Roars and dressed him up in Darth Vader clothes.

Name is Darth Cutie Pie. (He is so my son)

song for maddie

2011-11-11T07:29:00.005-05:00

My daughter does not know the background of the purple monster in the corner of her room. One way I remember a special little girl who touched many in her short life. Today, on what would have been her fourth birthday, please help me remember Maddie with a song.

Day 10 - Obsessions - Video Style

2011-11-10T07:47:00.001-05:00

As I write this*, Willow is watching Winnie the Pooh (2011) while sitting in her chair holding Winnie the Pooh and Tigger bath toy figures and a stuffed Bunny Rabbit (which is actually from this Book). She is now obsessed with Winnie the Pooh. Daily viewings and playing with the above mentioned toys in intricate scenarios. The music is very catchy from the movie--and even though we are all getting tired of it (well, except for Willow) I must say it is very re-playable.

Michael is obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- which we love to share with him. We are now onto Season Four, and actually just finished watching the Thanksgiving episode. (And now he is practicing his clarinet in hopes that we will allow him to watch another episode after Willow goes to bed). (Yeah, we will)

As for me, during the day when I have a chance to veg out--its past episodes of Judging Amy.

*Yeah, technically I am writing this on November 9th--scheduling this post because of plans to play with a certain 3.5 year old tomorrow. :-)

Day 9 - At the Playground

2011-11-09T06:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Willow and I went to the playground. Just me and her.

This is a playground near a lake so I could get my nature fix, she could get her playground fix.

It was a wonderfully warm day--nearly 70 degrees(!)

Not only did she have a great time, but she wanted to go back and bring everyone she knew to the playground!

In the background, you can see the lake, with it's requisite ducks and seagulls.

They had put in a new playscape that included a bench to sit down and eat/drink. So, she had a juice box and some Halloween Pretzels.

Then it was time for the climbing portion of the day!

Later, we went to the shore of the lake and she made an Autumn Sand Castle. (Or, as she called it, a house for bunnies.)

Later still we saw a little boy feeding the seagulls.

Day 8

2011-11-08T09:04:00.001-05:00

Last evening I got a call from Michael's after school care. (Well, after school care when I am working--right now I pick him up from school). They called because they wanted to let me know that if we decide to have him go back to after school, they are not going to be able to transport him his school to their facility. This really puts a kink into the system, because, obviously, if I could transport him--I wouldn't need after school care.

This puts me in a weird situation. First off--nothing is really changed at the moment--I still don't have a job. BUT. I have a really good prospect or two (including an interview Tomorrow) and if any of those actually take fruit and I get offered a job, I have to scramble to find after school care for him. (Not to mention having to enroll him a new program, etc.--oh, the paperwork!)

Before he went to this place (which is the same place he went to for a month for summer camp this year), he was at an after school program where he ended up getting bullied. So, I am definitely not putting back to that program.

I love the fact that I find a perfect spot for him...and now I have to find somewhere else! Especially since he is on the edge of not having to have after school care at all. (I figured once he went to high school I would just have him come home from school on his own). Right now, I just cannot see my almost 13 year old being home alone for almost 4 hours.

So, I have to see if I can either arrange transportation for him somehow to this program which I love and he loves; or I have to find another program. At the moment I think we will end up having to change his after school program, but he will still go to the other place for vacations and one month of summer camp.

I think this especially is a vexing problem for me because he needs more social outlets because of his social issues and I was already feeling bad that he was not going to this after school program because of my lay off. And now even if we find after school care for him, it will probably not as adequately fulfill that social need.

The good news is that our doctor recently gave me a listing of social skills groups to call for extra help in this area. So I guess there is more that I need to do on that front too.

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 7

2011-11-07T08:52:00.005-05:00

Today is a weird day. I am feeling lazy, slightly sick and tired.

I have not had an uninterrupted night sleep in a while. Last night she woke up at 3:30 a.m. I think she had a nightmare, on the other hand, she seemed to be mostly upset that she could not find her sippy cup of water (which was right in front of her).

Everyone left and I made myself productive despite myself. Nothing on the job front so far for this week, I am anticipating some feedback from interviews from last week.* A watched computer has the same principle as a watched kettle, so I sit down to write a post. But cannot seem to settle on a topic.

I am usually the productive one, but right now, I feel a lack of motivation.

So far, this stint of unemployment has found me busy and sluggish in turns. For a little while I could not even get myself to land my brain on a good book. Thankfully, that stint of non-bookness has left me and I find my brain and imagination engaged once again.

But there is still today. Where I just don't really feel like doing anything. And the things I want to do, I don't have time to do. Or the money to do. Or...oh, hell, I don't know...the endurance to do. Hopefully it is just me being under the weather. Or maybe it is the time change. Or the end of Halloween and the beginning of the holidays?

Maybe I just peaked too soon in this unemployment stint. I think that June and July I just poured myself into the summer with the kids and then August I started to fret and work on the job of finding work. And then school started in September. And then an abnormal Autumn. Maybe I just need a vacation from my forced vacation?

Or maybe I am just having the Monday Blahs today.

Eh, I will have a nice tea with honey for my throat, snuggle with the cat and watch television for a bit and then pick up Michael from school. I will make us all a good dinner tonight.

And then tomorrow--is another day!

*Finally got some news--I have an interview on Wednesday!

Day 6

2011-11-06T07:07:00.000-05:00

Some pictures of the cats...

Gabrielle is our first cat. She is about 8 years old (we are not sure of how old she was when we got her, she was a shelter cat).

Here is a picture from when we first got her.

She is a really sociable cat. However, she is not a lap cat. She loves to sleep beside you in bed.

Kif is our youngest family member. He just turned one year old this July. We got him as an 8 week old kitten from the same shelter we got Gabby from.

He is definitely a lap cat.

Often I will see Willow snuggle up to Kif in this manner and they will snuggle up and watch a cartoon together.

In a lot of ways, Kif is Willow's cat.

Kif is also attuned to Willow in other ways. He is a mischief maker. He makes messes.

Currently, he likes to stalk the door to try to escape outside. (They are both indoor cats)

While I have been unemployed, it has been comforting to have them around. And a little interesting to see what their daily habits are. (For example, they seem to snuggle into specific places on the couch).

Day 5

2011-11-05T06:50:00.001-04:00

I have decided to once again participate in November. To read more about NaBloPoMo please click HERE.

She is procrastinating bedtime. I had pushed the job on daddy at first, partially because he is really good at putting the kids to bed, but also because I am done with being a mommy to a 3.5 year old today.

But she is still up and daddy is sick (sicker than the rest of us who are dealing with colds), so now it is my turn at bat. She talks to me and I am a bit cold because I really just want her to go to sleep already. Then she of course has to go to the bathroom. I sigh annoyingly as she does so. I am just not in the mood for this crap. (It is after 9 p.m. now..this is getting into my adult time!!)

Tired of waiting outside the bathroom, I go to check in on my son. Who has proceeded slip into bed in his clothes again. I ask if he really is too tired to get into his pajamas...which he reluctantly proceeds to do. I talk to him and tuck him in. And then she walks in.

And starts to sing a good night song of her own making. And I melt. And I smile. We say good night to him and then go into her room.

Where she proceeds to sing several more songs. One about going to bed, one about growing up, one about puppies. Then an encore of the going to bed song. It is too damned cute. She then snuggles in bed. I kiss her and she hugs me and tells me she loves me. Daddy has come up to check on what is going on and she elicits a promise that he will pick up donuts tomorrow morning for breakfast (bad daddy habit).

I don't care that it is now almost 10 p.m. and she is just getting to sleep.

Day 4 - School Pictures - Preview!

2011-11-04T06:42:00.000-04:00

Got Michael's school pictures last night. Well, actually not that many last night--because I did something I think will happen more and more in the future. I was able to order the picture digitally (I was still forced to buy one sheet to be able to purchase the CD). So, in reality, I got a sheet of small pictures and ordered some prints through the W-M.ar.t. So much cheaper!

I wish I could have done that with Willow's preschool pictures, but they don't let you order digital. In fact, what they do is much crueler...they give you a whole package and you have to pick the sheets to keep (OH so hard, especially with the different poses and stuff!)

Here is a preview (if you don't want to see them until you get 'em, I am providing some spoiler space here):

M
y

k
i
d
s

r
o
c
k
!

Michael, 12.5 years (7th Grade)

(This is a picture of a picture)

Willow, 3.5 years (Preschool)

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 3

2011-11-03T08:09:00.002-04:00

She is asleep still. Which is good, because she woke up in the middle of the night wet and cold (her pull up leaked). She got into bed with us. Willow coming into bed reminded me of times when Michael was potty training and he would come to us wet and I would strip him down and just let him sleep like a naked little frog in our bed (things you do when it is 3 a.m. and you want to sleep).

But. This was at 1 a.m. and everyone in the house is dealing with a cold bug. So, I had to strip her and her bed, get her new pajamas and pull up, fix up her bed and get her back to sleep. Afterwards, I was uncharacteristically able to go right back to sleep. After coughing a lot and blowing my nose a couple times.

So she sleeps still and I contemplate what to do today.

Yesterday I went to a pre-interview interview, then came home, drove Chewy to work in Boston, had a phone interview, picked up Michael from school, did some laundry and then picked up Willow from preschool and Chewy from the train station (dinner in the form of brisket in a slow cooker was a great help).

Today. Well, today Willow and I may go to a farm. Or maybe walk around a pond. Today is a day to spend with her.

Day 2

2011-11-02T16:35:00.008-04:00

Cell phone photos. They are so random. We are out somewhere or something happens that is cute. Or we want to show our partner what is for dinner. We snap a cell phone picture. Sometimes my cell phone pictures are blurry and sometimes they don't quite capture the moment I was trying to capture.

I use my cell phone camera let friends and family know what is going on with my life. And sometimes, it is just the handiest thing at the moment.

And I especially love looking at them at random times during my day.

Here are some random photos from my cellphone:

Willow after swim class in May.

From a Chihuly exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts in July.

The gang before leaving on vacation on Cape Cod in July.

Welcome Home sign for dad after his trip to Romania in October.

Pancakes for the kids.

Very blurry picture of me and kids after a minor league baseball game.

Willow has a crush on the neighbor kid!

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day 1

2011-11-01T09:34:00.007-04:00

I have decided to once again participate in November. To read more about NaBloPoMo please click HERE.

Today I think we are all coming down from the Halloween High (oh and getting our first colds of the season). It is always kind of sad when a holiday ends.*

I think this year Willow really enjoyed everything about Halloween. She still wasn't all into saying "Trick or Treat!" when she got to the doors--she was usually just stunned that she was getting CANDY by just knocking on doors! (She did remember to say "Thank You!")

The number of times her eyes grew WIDE from someone's costume or decorations--it was just so fun to watch her!

On the other hand, it was a bit bittersweet for the grownups, as Michael went out on his own with friends. It was weird not to have him along with us.

Just as we were thinking of heading home, we met up with his group by accident. And he somewhat surprised me when he decided to join us along our walk home. (He is actually not that into candy--he likes the costumes and scary decorations--that being said, this morning, the first thing he did was sneak downstairs to get some candy).

Our Halloween festivities are not quite over, however. Michael has a band Halloween Party today after school. And now I just found out that we are going to go out Trick or Treating with some friends in New Hampshire this Sunday (there was a lot of postponements of ToTing because of the snowstorm and power outtages).

Tonight we will probably watch our first non-horror movie in a while.

And this weekend...I will put the decorations away for another year.

*My one real regret about Halloween was that my camera had needed new batteries, so I have not too great pictures of the events...

Tricks, Treat, Snow, Mummies, Zombies, Oh My!

2011-10-31T09:50:00.015-04:00

Happy Halloween!

We started the celebrating this weekend. Michael went to a Halloween Dance at his school. I was impressed with his bravery to go there on his own and without a group of friends. I don't think he really knew what to expect, it being his first "dance". I think he was thinking about the word "Halloween" versus the dance part. Especially since he called me 1/2 hour early to pick him up because he was bored. He did have a good time, enjoyed showing up in his costume and told me about the costume contest (there was someone who won that was in almost the same costume as him).

Before the dance, a light snack...

Ready to go!

Then on Saturday night, Michael had a Halloween sleepover with one of his best friends. Everyone dressed up in their costumes...

And we wrapped everyone up at as a toilet paper mummy...

We had pizza and chips and CANDY...a jello Brain (best served during Zombieland). After Willow went to bed, the boys went out and played in the snow (first time we have had snow in October in a looong time). Then it was time for scary movies, and [gulp] bed.

In the morning, they went out and made a snow golem (which lasted for most of the day--by the end of the day the snow had melted).

Michael's friend went home and we went to the annual Halloween Parade. We were worried it would get canceled because of the snow, but while it was cold and there were some slippery spots and patches of snow, the city had cleared everything up enough for us to go. We live right down the street from the parade route, so we bundled up and walked over with our chairs. It was really fun! Willow got a free face painting--by her request a pink spider in a web. She got to hug Blue from Blue.s Clu.es and Michael was a champion grabbing at the thrown candies. My feet were soaked by the end (having to step into piled snow to help Willow grab at candies or to meet Blue or El.mo). When we got home 3 hours later (its a big parade!) we were chilled to the bones--we all snuggled on the couch under a blanket and watched---well, Willow's newest obsession, Winnie the Pooh.

And now for the tricks or treats....

Michael decided to go out with a couple friends for a bit, so we went out with just Willow for the most part.

She got into the zombie make-up before I could make her up--but I think we (meaning mainly her) did a pretty good zombie job:

She did a great job at Trick or Treating and was complimented on her costume.

Michael joined us towards the end:

Then home to look at the loot.

A Sleepy Hallow Walk

2011-10-25T06:00:00.003-04:00

We spent a nice fall day walking around some of our old haunts...including Sleepy Hallow Cemetery.

Three and One Half

2011-10-24T14:34:00.003-04:00

This weekend out on a walk.

Today you are 3 1/2 years old. My mind can barely grasp that you were once so small--yet it was not that long ago that you were not even here yet.

Three and one half years ago I was awaiting your arrival and was happy to see an end to a journey that took us six years to fulfill. An ending that was happily filled with you entering this world.

And now the world has you to contend with. You are still a whirlwind. Stubborn as only you can be...yet sweet as syrup when you want to be. You surprise me with your tenderness and caring that springs up out of nowhere.

To count your accomplishments now is innumerable.

You go to the bathroom on your own (night time is still pull ups, but I have a feeling that will change soon). You are so accomplished with this task that you have no problem whatsoever in going up to complete strangers while we are out and asking them were the bathroom is. Being your type of stubborn, you will NOT go into the boy's bathroom unless mom is not around to escort you to the ladies. Lately you have taken to singing while doing your bathroom duty. Loudly. While swinging your legs. And washing your hands--an art form with lots and lots of water.

You have recently found out how to turn doorknobs--I tremble in fear. Already my privacy has been invaded three times and you are not one to take no for an answer (we will work on this, young one).

You can count to ten, sometimes to twenty. You know most of your colors, your favorite being purple. You know your A,B,Cs, although you can't quite sing the whole song (you get lost after "P"). You know that "W" is a special letter because it is the letter that begins your name.

You like to help me cook, and just the other day you helped breading fish. Your hands were so crusted with flour and egg that I barely could see your fingers. And the mess you made "helping" me was more than I would have wanted normally--but I did not mind.

You pretend play that you are a teacher in preschool and ask us to answer you when you take attendance. Or you pretend that you are a mommy with lots of "babies" to cuddle and put to bed. You have put a cat leash on a stuffed reindeer and called it your dog.

You love and are loved by Kif, your oft partner in crime.

And every day I notice that take something new from this world, and that you bring a little bit more into this world.

Thank you for being you.

Perfect Moment Monday - Oct. 24

2011-10-24T09:34:00.007-04:00

On the 4th Monday of each month we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. The next Perfect Moment Monday event will be on November 28.

To participate in Perfect Moment Monday:

Follow Write Mind Open Heart.
Between the Sunday night before and the Sunday night after, write up your own Perfect Moment.

Perfect Moment #1: He sits me down with a seriousness that scares me. We had a argument yesterday and I worry that this is about that (which was resolved, or so I thought, earlier yesterday). I sit down next to him and I worry. And then he shows me his lucky gaming die. He has had it since he was thirteen. He wants me to carry it for luck until I get a job. It is one of his most precious material possessions and he is giving it to me solemnly because he knows that I have been feeling downhearted about the job hunt. Well, now I have Luck +20.

Perfect Moment #2: She has gotten the bag of leaves we collected. Not sure what she is going to do with them (I really want to save them for waxing). I reluctantly have given her the bag and I await destruction of the precious few leaves we have gotten this year. And then she neatly starts laying them out on the kitchen floor. She is displaying them and counting them. She is marveling at them. And she handles them as if they are miracles...which I guess they are.

Perfect Moment #3: He makes his way across the cemetery on a cool autumn day. He is tall and lanky and walks with purpose through the old tombstones and he pauses to look at the inscriptions. He is alone even though we as a family are with him. And I am reminded of myself walking through cemeteries and old gardens. His sister runs up to him and he grabs her hand and they walk further up the hill together.

Sometimes you need to be reminded...

2011-10-21T20:03:00.003-04:00

Was talking to an old friend via email the other day. She complimented me and I thanked her. I had been feeling a bit depressed. Just a whole bunch of overwhelming things happening at once, the job hunt, etc.

I thanked her for making me feel better on a day I was feeling bad.

She replied to me today (hope she doesn't mind that I quote her):

"Sorry to hear you were feeling blue, but glad if I helped make it a little better. Remember you really do have a great life. You married a great guy who's lots of fun, your son is a super genius and also really fun and a constant source of pride, and little Willow, your miracle baby, is just full of surprises and such a joy. And one of your best qualities is that you don't take it all for granted. You make a point to savor every moment and really appreciate what you have. I admire that about you!"

Sometimes I need to be reminded of that. And what a great friend I have. Thank you again.

Farm Visit

2011-10-18T22:51:00.006-04:00

Willow and I went to a farm today. It finally feels like autumn around here, and I was so happy to see some actual colors on the trees.

One of the few advantages of being unemployed is that I can spend a day like today with her. And I was reminded many times of the many such trips I have taken with Michael when he was that age. It is funny, because when they are both around I don't think about those times long ago with him. I guess I am in the moment (and my memory, alas, sucks). But, when it is just me and her--I sometimes get hit with a sudden memory of toddler times with Michael. Usually, it is more sweet than bitter. I am just happy I have a chance to do it all again with her.

Okay, enough of the sentimental stuff...onto the pictures! (cuz, of course, y'all haven't seen a farm before!)

So, we saw sheep:

This is one of the few that got close to us.

And we spent an extraordinarily Long time in the Hen House:

Looking in on the chickens.

A Fluffy Chicken. That black and white stuff--that's the head full of feathers.

A rooster getting ready to crow.

And then a staff member came out with a red rooster. And we got to pet a rooster!

And touch his alarmingly scary clawed foot!

Willow insisted on seeing the pigs. And the cows were very very important to go see.

We got to see one of the new calves getting milk. (And later, as she would tell EVERYONE who asked about it, she saw the calf eliminate said milk)

We ended our trip on an appropriate vehicle:

Fun Concert on a Saturday Night

2011-10-16T22:03:00.003-04:00

Last night we went to another Weird Al concert. Last year we went at the beginning of summer, this year it is the middle of autumn. (and closer!--last year was quite the drive!)

I have always liked taking my kids to live performances and I strive to give them different experiences. We have seen silent movies and plays, musicians and comedians. As Michael has gotten older, he has started to have favorites and is starting to be able to go to more mature material.

And his love for Weird Al has started to exceed our own. He listens to his music on his MP3 player, he requests it in the car. We were one of the first people to have his new CD. So it was wonderful to get a sitter and take our first born to his second Al concert. He had his 2010 tour shirt on, he was bouncing in his seat BEFORE the concert even began. Watching him watch the concert was half the fun!

And, as usual, Weird Al did not disappoint. The man PERFORMS and it is a thrill to watch him go through the many costume changes and characters on stage.

Talkn' about CNR.

Of course, the FAT suit!

Not only the audience participated on the Saga...

It was one of those experiences where you can tell the people on stage are enjoying what they are doing and where you feel a part of their joy in performing. And I love having my son feel that joy.

Thanks, Al!

It is so worth it...

2011-10-13T16:32:00.005-04:00

She is a handful and sometimes I am exhausted by her. But often, so often lately, I am so, so grateful to have her in my life.

Deciding to take a quick bath, I realize too late that she is not distracted anymore and now wants to join me. The water is too hot for her, she is dressed already, and I wanted a little soak on my own. [sigh] Quickly, too quickly for me to notice, she is taking off her clothes and after getting the water a little more suitable for her--in she comes. I look at the water on her back and her hair. How she has grown. I inspect her, this amazing being that is her. We play with the bubbles and the water together. I asked her if she liked this. And she says that should like to do this "forever and ever, momma".

A big box to play in. And she snuggles right into it. She calls it a rocket ship and I lift it up every so often and she giggles. Today I got out markers and crayons and we decorated her ship. It has squares and circles and "buttons" and "levers" and all sorts of things on it. And she loves it more because I helped her draw it. And my melancholy about my job hunt is gone because this is time I have with her.

We are going to meet someone for brunch. She hurries to get ready...the backpack with tons of toys on her back and a pink hat to match her backpack. And she has put her shoes on (the wrong feet).

As we drive in the rain, I ask if she wants to hear some music. She says she wants the lady singing "oooohhhaaahhhhhhh"...I know what she wants. "Grove is in the Heart" and Deelite are singing--my daughter and I are both grooving and making moves in our seats.

Fall Time

2011-10-12T21:23:00.004-04:00

Mid October and I find that fall seems to just be starting in earnest here. This past weekend it was warm like summer and it was bizarre to feel like that summer I really wanted to hang onto had decided to do just that.

But this week I have just started noticing some fall foliage around here--it is a little late this year and so far not as spectacular as usual. As usual, I look and look for the first sign of fall...and finally see a tree change color--and then there are beautiful colors everywhere!

I am looking forward to playing in the leaves and listening to them crunch under my feet. And I look forward to waxing some leaves with the children and putting them up on our kitchen window. (Reminding me of waxing leaves with my Grammie and putting them up on her kitchen mirror)

We have the kids Halloween Costumes already and I am looking forward to my two zombies (graveyard zombie and zombie princess) haunting our neighborhood soon.

Some Halloween decorations are up and I have been reading Halloween themed books. There is a Band Halloween Party, a preschool Harvest Party and a Weird Al concert in our future. Michael wants a Halloween themed sleep over (the boys watch scary movies in his room).

It seems appropriate that we are continuing with our Buffy marathon, started season three tonight.

Fall is here to stay, I think. And the holidays in all their bittersweet joyfulness are just around the corner.

A Day Off

2011-10-10T17:50:00.003-04:00

This week is going to be a busy busy week. I have three interviews (one for an actual job, two others for staffing agencies), Michael has therapy and a band field trip that ends in playing with the high school band during the football game on Friday. And then on Saturday--a Weird Al concert!!

It was nice to have the day off with the kids and just relax. My energy was lacking today, mainly because Willow kept getting up last night (I think that the tours of the many Halloween themed stores yesterday actually had an impact--oops!)

However, we were still able to have a nice reflective time at the pond.

Dress Up

2011-10-07T15:51:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, Willow and I went to a cute little museum that has toys, dolls and trains on display. I knew she would like it, but I was surprised that during the dress up station, she spontaneously said that Santa could give her dress up clothes for a present. It was so wonderful to see her having fun with the clothes AND also make a connection about Santa Claus and gift giving.

I have researched a little on line and trying to find something that works as a dress up trunk is kinda hard. One can either find cheap, small wardrobes, expensive ones. I have looked on E.b.a.y and Cr.ai.gs.li.st to no avail yet. I think I will try some thrift shops next.

The gloves were the Hardest to get on!!

Note the fashionable Chiquita Banana sticker from her morning breakfast.

Buffy Moment

2011-10-04T09:15:00.003-04:00

It is one of the best episodes of the second season and he is watching it for the first time. I try hard not to inform him in any way about the surprises coming (he is kinda spoiled about the series in general so for him to not know what is coming is different).

Chewy is upstairs putting Willow to bed, and I had to start the episode without him, because we don't want Michael up too late (it is a school night afterall).

But, I make sure to get him to come down before the climax of the episode. And we all watch intently. We watch Michael figure out what is going on and gasp.

And we enjoy watching something special and dramatic with him. It is so nice that he is old enough to really enjoy this with us. It reminds me why we love watching movies with him, to watch him enjoy something for the first time.

And he goes to bed only a few minutes past his normal bedtime.

I love this Buffy marathon.

One Job, Two Job

2011-09-30T13:57:00.002-04:00

It would be nice if I could actually have a choice in the job I want. They ask me what my "perfect" job is in interviews, and it is not like I ask too much. Really, I really don't ask too much.

But it seems that in this economy, with employers having the upper hand, the little I do want is hard to find.

What do I want?

Hmmm...

I want a job that I can be challenged in. That recognizes that I have a brain and I would like to use it.

I want a job that I can leave at the office. I have a rather hectic, complicated life and I would like to have my "off" hours be my "off" hours.

I want to be able to pick my kids up from daycare/afterschool care at a decent time, so that they are not in a scheduled environment for longer than I have been. (this seems to be the most elusive)

I want respect and a respectable wage to go along with it.

Long Distance Week

2011-09-29T21:43:00.009-04:00

This week has been pretty disjointed, with Chewy seven hours ahead of us and communication spotty at best (having to use IM and Facebook as main communication).

Between a sleep over, Buffy marathons, doctor's appointments, dropping offs and pick ups, visits to the new playground, homework, on demand Disney movies, going out to lunch with friends/family, and counting seven hours ahead to figure out where Chewy would be in his day...its been pretty hectic here.

Playing at the New Playground near our house. (It was an old playground--totally new equipment has been put in now.)

Other things I have done this week -- bought some of the new DC comics, got the kids haircuts, did some bills, applied to some jobs, picked up some library books, painted some of the upstairs bathroom, did a phone interview---

and tomorrow, a job interview and another phone interview.

Not surprisingly, I have not had much down time. I had had thoughts that I would be catching up on some reading, some internet surfing and some movies. Not so much...but I have gotten some Judging Amy episodes in.

Chewy comes home on Saturday.

While kids and I will be at the Museum of Science.

Buffy Marathon...

2011-09-24T21:07:00.002-04:00

Chewy is safe in Romania now. His luggage is missing, but traveling 3 different planes for almost 24 hours drains you enough that you don't care until you get some sleep(!) So, now we hope he gets that luggage tomorrow!

Meanwhile, Michael and I are "celebrating" dad's business trip to Transylvania by having a Buffy marathon. Since we have not been remiss and have already indoctrinated him in the arts of Buffy--we have started with Season 2. Tonight we are watching the Halloween episode--the first episode I ever saw.

Michael is really into two things right now--Buffy and Mine craft (videogame). So...we spent a whole bunch of time with his friend last night playing that videogame; and then time with Uncle John playing the videogame.

While we watched a Buffy episode this morning. Willow watched with us. And kept asking--where is me? Is that me? Where is the Willow? Did she just kill that demon? Oh, no, she is the geek/witch, hon. Yes...that is Willow. (Very fun!)

I am really enjoying rewatching Buffy. And I am glad I can share this with him.

Anxious

2011-09-21T20:46:00.003-04:00

Chewy took today off so we could just relax a little before he goes on his business trip. Tomorrow we will start seriously packing him up; Friday evening he leaves.

While I am used to his wacky hours and being the main parent at home during the week, both of us are experiencing anxiety about this coming week.

He hates traveling and it is a Looooong flight(s); me because I will be holding down the homestead (I really give kudos to those single parents out there--seriously!)

While he has been having some long hours the last month, he has still been within reach (not to mention he has usually given me a break during the weekends). After Friday, he will be 7 hours ahead of me. He has been on business trips before, so I know the drill. However, this is going to be the first time soooo far away and first time with Willow too.

I know he has the harder week coming up and I worry about him--which is hard to do with kids around because I don't want them to worry too...so--

Plans for the coming week--

--Get out of the house and enjoy the fall weather (please don't rain!)

--Buffy marathon with the boy

--Frequent Skyping with Chewy for all our sanities

--Chocolate

--Judging Amy

--IMs and emails to that guy I love

Changes...

2011-09-19T15:19:00.004-04:00

I hate doing nothing for hours. I hate trying to do small talk. I hate spending money and time on something I think is superficial.

And I had to do it nonetheless.

I needed my hair updated. I needed a change. For interviews mainly--but also because I have kinda had the same style for many years.

(Oh, and I hate putting my picture up...but here goes)

Before:

After:

Not sure if I can keep up the 'do...but I like it!

He is going here...

2011-09-19T09:46:00.001-04:00

Chewy is going on a business trip for a week HERE, starting on Friday.

Eeep.

UPDATE:

Chewy looked at my link and said this was a better (re funnier) link. This is where he hopes to VISIT while there. (note the site has not been updated for quite a while...)

Random Summer Photos

2011-09-17T21:43:00.006-04:00

Just retrieving some pictures from my cellphone from this summer, thought I would put them here.

Going to the Community Pool.

Random weekend hug (I can tell, cuz she is still in pjs)

One of the first things we did this summer--camping with Ana!

Walking around in Lexington Minuteman park...

Swing time!

Labor Day Lobster!

Play Time

2011-09-16T15:10:00.004-04:00

Lately Willow likes to play at being the "mommy" and I am the child. She takes me to the couch and tries to put me to bed. She gets me a toy to sleep with, a blanket. She reads a book or two. This is often fun because I get to see what she really retains from the book readings.

This book becomes the book about "the man who hates monkeys". It was amazing to watch her read this book to me (one of those times when you wish you could grab the video camera, but you are kind of stuck there in the moment with her and you know if you went to record it, the moment would end). She did the voices and the imitations of the monkey see, monkey do exchange and she understood the concept of the peddler needing to rest against the tree and the caps, etc.

Then it is time for me to go to sleep (which usually I CRAVE and have no problems with, but I know she is playing and wants a more realistic exchange). So, I claim that there are monsters under the couch; she gets them away. I ask if she will sit with me a while. She exasperatedly says yes (she is good at playing my role!). Then I ask for water. Then she sighs and agrees to get me water, but I have to go to bed.
She stays with me for a bit.

Then she says "good night" and then leaves the room.

I rest my eyes and start to drift...

And then its "morning time!" time to get up, honey! And we go through a routine of a day. Repeat. And now...

She wants to play "me be the mommy and you be the honey" again....maybe I will get about 2 mins of rest?!

Trying To Find My Fall...

2011-09-14T12:30:00.005-04:00

On Monday I was at the beach with my friend. And I got a sunburn (the first of summer!) Hanging on as tight as I can to summer...

Which is so unlike me. Usually I love to embrace autumn. It is one of my favorite times of year. I love the fall colors, I love grabbing a sweater and sweatshirt, love playing in the leaves.

For some reason, I have not gotten my head around fall yet. Perhaps it is because I have been laid off since the start of summer. I have definitely made this summer count and I have had a great time doing it. Maybe it was because this summer in New England was pretty much perfect (well, aside from the tornadoes, earthquakes and hurricanes). I spent some wonderful times with my children--and I think I found time to enjoy those things people talk about doing in the summer, but don't always find the time to do.

Perhaps it is specifically because of that that I am having a hard time in letting summer go. I think that when I first became an adult, summer was bittersweet--because I realized that as an adult (unless you are lucky to be a teacher or some other profession that has summer's off) I still had to work...and looking out at the perfectly blue sky while in an office--not so fun. But with my time with the children, we had the time to enjoy those blue skies.

I might also be a bit bitter that there are already Halloween displays out. I love Halloween, but it comes at the end of the fall. And I want to have the fall...I want those changes to come slowly.

I guess I need to see those leaves changing...to have that slight chill in the air--the crispness...to remind me that there is so much of the season that I do indeed enjoy...

[[Breathes]]

OOookaay, Autumn...come on in!

Labeling...

2011-09-08T21:28:00.002-04:00

"Clearly the label we use has extreme importance, and we need to make every effort to be accurate. Getting the label right is important for many reasons, not the least of which is that diagnosis often drives treatment planning, selection of medication, educational programming, and the way we conceptually and emotionally view our children."

Earlier this week we went to our second appointment with a new doctor. As was his procedure, I had spoken with him previously the week before so that he could be brought up to speed with Michael and his diagnosis. From now on he will be meeting with Michael and then with me as we work through how we can help him function better in school and with others.

This has been a wild ride for us as a family. And it continually brings up changes in diagnosis and treatment. This is sometimes because we are focusing on one thing (behavior) or the other (focusing and attention) and these different goals do not always fit together. Sometimes a medication that works for his attention skills, causes him to behave in ways that mark him as different (OCD behavior). Sometimes if he is not on his focusing medication, he is hyper-active and will not stop talking to you about his latest obsession.

Sometimes we get stuck on the labels too. For the longest time I have been saying he is ADHD. But there has always been the other label of Aspergers. I have always shied away from that label as every professional we have seen has said that while Michael has some symptoms of Aspergers he seems to be, if anything, on the high functioning end of that spectrum. And, frankly, it seems that when using one label versus the other--more acceptance is shown with the ADHD label.

However, with this new doctor, the first point he wanted to make was that he believed his diagnosis could be Aspergers. Part of me says--who the hell cares what he is, just help me help him! But the other part of me wonders if I should pursue the other diagnosis through the school system to see if there are other accommodations that they could be giving him.

And then there is the whole labeling thing in the first place. I hate that I often have to point out that he has ADHD--I have gotten into a habit of doing so and I had started out not ever pointing it out, but as time has shown me that people seem to be very mean and intolerant of people who are different or quirky, it has been my default button to push to try to make sure he doesn't get hurt (or at least not get as singled out).

In the end I will have to just see what this school year brings. I hope it brings not only learning but some understanding of how to fit into this society which can get very hung up on labels.

"Whatever their profile, whatever their label, both the child with ADHD and the child with Asperger’s syndrome require us to change our assumptions about relationships and our expectations about behavior. They are both demanding, confusing, exhausting, and frustrating. Inside, each is a child who needs tolerance, our informed understanding, our thoughtful interventions, our patience, and our love."

Quotes from this wonderful article.

Here it is -- 7th Grade!!

2011-09-08T09:34:00.004-04:00

This year is another year at Middle School. Last year was a year of firsts and now this morning, he was pretty weary and only slightly anxious (mainly to just get going).

Last night we went through all the supplies, we packed them into his new backpack (its HEAVY) and then realized that we did not know where his combo lock was. After a few minutes searching, I decided to go buy one after he went to bed. So, this morning he practiced on his new combo lock.

He has his lunch, his supplies, his book and book list from the summer. He has a note in his lunch box and he knows we are picking him up from school.

And I got him there late (me--of all people!) and on the first day (!) It was because he used the restroom just before we were going, it was raining hard, AND I went the wrong way out of habit (I was going to the elementary school!).

Since he has been in kindergarten, the pictures are the same...situations change and time moves so fast!

Waking up this morning. Hardly any words...just stumbled into the shower...

First picture of breakfast--(Yay, school?!?)

And then a smile!

And out the door!

Some extra things this year--

A hug from Willow...

Who then dragged his (very HEAVY) backpack over to him.

Small Things

2011-09-07T04:25:00.000-04:00

Playing "this little piggy" with her and remembering when her piggies were so small. Then she comes up with a variation on her hands; and I come up with a variation using both feet and both hands.

Listening to a CD with her that was his favorite from when he was her age. Bittersweet in the fact that I can play it again to a new audience while he is upstairs playing with his friend, blaring Weird Al.

While we are doing errands in the car, she wants to hear "Werewolves of London" which is on daddy's music player. Then he says, well, we don't have it right now, but we can sing it. She starts going "whooooo whoooo, Werewolves of London" and soon the whole car is out of tune and singing "whooooo! Werewolves of London".

He is upstairs with his friend, I am amusing her so that she doesn't bother them. I go to check on them--and find that they were playing a Le.go battle with Bio.nic.als and throwing them at each other. His room is in a mess...but is so wonderful to see him playing with toys with a friend. Because I know this stage is fading, fading away.

I take him to a Chinese buffet on this last day before school starts. At first he says that he is not too hungry. Three plates later, he has filled himself--but has room for jello. I think of toasting him -- happy 7th Grade -- but my small cup of tea and my timing is inadequate.

Giving Summer a Good Good-Bye

2011-09-03T21:47:00.002-04:00

Went to the beach today. It was wonderful and sunny and warm but not too warm. We found tide pools and we hunted hermit crabs and snails. We climbed rocks and got into the water.

I am blamed for sunburns...I mean, I did allow Chewy to apply the sunblock, didn't I? So, both the kids have slight (well Michael's is not as slight) sunburns...first time in years...I guess a good reminder of the summer?

Then we clean off the sand and go into town. Eat some wonderfully priced lobsters and walk along the pier.

Willow had three tantrums--one at the beach (she did not want to GOooooooo!!) and one when I told her that she was not getting that expensive toy and one more time on the way back to the car (she wanted to go back to see the Bunnies--there was a woman with bunnies in town).

Lastly, we have ice cream and look at the water. Take the long walk back to the car. Tired and burned and thirsty (and tear-streaked--well, at least one of us).

The drive home...I think, how perfect it was.

Amicable Departures

2011-08-31T13:40:00.002-04:00

Today I had lunch with my former employers. They had laid me off in June with the hopes of having me come back in September.

I left the house at the same moment that our dear friend who was visiting was being shuttled by Chewy and Michael to the airport.

Everyone in the household already misses him and he has just been gone for a few hours...

Meanwhile, I met up with my bosses and had Thai food. We smiled and greeted each other and caught up with each other.

They praised my work and told me how much they missed me. (How they would like me back)

We ordered food while they told me how their business is picking up and things are looking cautiously better.

Before the food came, they asked me how I felt about coming back and where I was.

I had my proposal ready and I gently told them my issues and how I thought we could work through them. We paused while we ate.

And. In the end, they are doing better, but not enough to be able to accommodate my financial needs to work for them.

We left the restaurant hoping that perhaps I can work on a project or two for them...before I move on.

We shook hands and departed.

Sometimes all you can say is good-bye.

Not Here Yet...Updated

2011-08-27T08:51:00.004-04:00

Hurricane Irene is not here yet, but already the storm and its possible consequences are causing changes of plans, etc.

Yesterday, we went in to Boston with our visiting friend and went to the Constitution. Well, we actually went to the Naval Yard to see the Constitution--but found out that it was closed to tours because of the preparations it was undergoing because of the Hurricane. So, we toured the Destroyer that was next to it. The weather was warm, the sun was out, sky clear.* We had a great time, and afterwards went into China Town and had great Dim Sum.

Later we went for ice cream near our house and I stocked up on a few items at the store. Going through the grocery store I could see places where things should have been--but where they had been sold out--like flashlights and batteries.

Getting home we had a message on our machine from the town asking everyone to clean up their property of anything loose like lawn chairs, garbage cans, etc.

So...after living over 15 years in New England...this is the first time I have had to make any sort of Hurricane preparations.

Today we are going to enjoy ourselves and go to a friends tonight for dinner and gaming (after a nice session of gaming last night until 2 a.m.). And then, Sunday--I guess we shall hunker down at home and hope we don't loose power. :-)

To all my friends on the East Coast--be safe!

*Seems amazing that I could be worrying about sunburn one day, and just a couple days later I am worrying about wind, rain and cold.

UPDATE:

Well, we hunkered down with our friend Tom and watched "Big Trouble in Little China" and played Zombie Munchkin. And the wind blew and some small limbs fell....and then nothing else. (Well, part of our behind us neighbor's fence fell on our kitchen window screen like it did this winter--so a slight tear in our screen)

So, after waiting to see if anything else would happen--we went bowling in the evening and it was like any other rainy/stormy day.

I consider us very lucky and I am grateful that our power did not go out (no flickers even).

For all those affected far worse--I wish you the best and speedy recovery!

Conversations on a Stroll

2011-08-23T15:29:00.003-04:00

Went on a little walk today at the local pond/nature trail. As we walked, Willow had her new sunglasses on upside down (her favorite way to wear them). She insisted on bringing a toy stroller with a barbie, a Rio figure and an injured flying dinosaur (he has only one wing now). As usual, she stopped every so often to pick a flower or a rock (or a mangled leaf or a squashed pine cone) and put them into her stroller.

She ran ahead of me several times and then said she was "tired" and needed to sit on the benches surrounding the pond.

At one point we were admiring the flowers near the pond and she got a little too close. I caught her before she fell in.

"You saved my life!!" she gladly said and she seemed the most thankful for the help.

We then said "Hi...hello!" to several people fishing. She got to see some fish being caught (perch) and was impressed with their haul.

We then met some people with puppy dogs. One of which "licked me, he is so CUUUTE!!"

We talked about the various flowers and their colors and then we walked back to where the car was. (Me carrying the small toy stroller)

At the resturant for lunch she lets a group of elderly citizens know that she needs to "pee! where are the pottys?"

And as we finish our lunch, she sincerely looks at me and goes:

"You know what, mommy? I really miss daddy and Michael!"

And now as I type this she hugs my leg and says "Mommy, I love you!"

As I looked on my cellphone to get this picture...I realized I had this picture from exactly three years ago today...

Wow...time has gone by so fast!

Summers End...

2011-08-21T20:50:00.004-04:00

It is evident everywhere, in the slight chill in the air. Even the rain that has occasionally invaded our days--it doesn't smell that summer rain smell. And the endless reminders of school coming soon...

But we are still enjoying summer. We went to one of our favorite places today. We walked around and found hoof prints in the mud and we picked flowers. We had ice cream and saw farm animals. We toured the farm (very cool new "smart barn") and saw cows and calves, one of which licked our hands with her tongue.

And then later on today, we went to the store and got some new pants for Michael for school. [sigh]

Time is inevitably moving forward. But we are trying to get in those last days of summer while we can.

Photos from the Wizards & Warriors Camp

2011-08-12T08:35:00.003-04:00

My Zombie on the spot captured some pictures of the event (some thirty in all, I am just posting some highlights). One of the things I love--any pictures of Michael, he is smiling a big wide smile!

Sirens singing out of the water.

Michael's costume.

The Eight foot Orge is behind you!

Cyclops singers (they sang Journey)

My Day as a Zombie: Guest Post*

2011-08-11T21:26:00.005-04:00

"Zombies need good lumbar support" - Michael's Dad*

Before any specific descriptions of my time as the living dead, I just want to say Wizards and Warriors camp is staffed by the most amazing people. They were the least cynical and the least self conscious people I have ever seen deal with kids. I *hate* the idea of camp, but I would walk over a pile of fresh delicious bodies without stopping for even a snack if could have done this as child.

Let me just give some highlights:

1-Serenaded by sirens at the lake in moon lights, the sirens were played by young women who vanished under the water and into an underwater air pocket when done.

2-Cyclops who sang

3-An Ogre who was on stilts and stood over 8 feet, playing with the kids.

And so much more!

The bottom line is it was a camp run by some adults and teens who really, really, really work hard to make a magic fun world for kids that is for the most part all home made creations.

I am just so used to people half-assing their way through life terrified of standing out in the slightest that this was wonderful.

Remember that Simpsons where Lisa goes to Art camp and doesnt want to leave?

Yeah, this was that for nerds.

More later..

Car Conversations...

2011-08-10T18:23:00.004-04:00

On the drive home from Camp/Daycare...

Michael: (seeing an elderly couple slowly making their way down the street) Oh, look at those old people! Ugh! I don't ever want to get that old. I want to die young!

Me: (surprised) Um, no hon, I don't think you would want that. I know that I don't want that!

Michael: Well, maybe not. But getting old looks like its no fun.

Me: (trying to be rational) Well, getting old is not only a part of life, but it can be fun. It will be so nice to see you and Willow grow up, go and do fun things in your life, fall in love, maybe have kids...

Michael: Yeah, dad said that with all the medical technology around, Willow should live until the 22nd century!

Me: (now tearing up) Yeah, sure!

Michael: And you don't want me to die before you do, right?!

Me: (definitely sobbing underneath) No, of course not. And you won't. I get to die first.

(And then the discussion veers onto scientific abstracts about how our cells are always dying, etc.)

(Meanwhile we find "Willow Street" so she can see "her" street)

Obsessions Continue...

2011-08-07T11:16:00.001-04:00

Still going strong on Plants vs. Zombies...

Michael and I are on level 6; Chewy is behind us, but is catching up.

Re-living My Toon Life...

2011-08-04T20:45:00.002-04:00

I am partial to Bugs and Daffy; Michael is partial to Sylvester and Porky Pig; Willow loves Road Runner...although, she states that like her mother, when she grows up she will not like them as much.

We all sit down and watch the new Looney Tunes cartoon. It is quite good...

And then we get out the new DVDs I got of the greatest hits--and Michael has to change the dvds three times...because Willow wants a Road Runner Cartoon, Michael wants to share with me his newest "discovery" of a Porky and Sylvester outing...and of course, I need my Bugs and Daffy fix.

We all sit on the couch, snuggled up, watching Daffy try to convince Elmer that it is Rabbit Season.

And I am happy to share one of my favorite cartoon pleasures.

At the Mall, Part 2

2011-08-03T10:33:00.003-04:00

Yesterday Willow and I went out for ice cream. Just me and my daughter. It was in an outdoor mall nearby...I just wanted a change from the playgrounds and play areas we have been frequenting this summer. (Full Disclosure--I am not a big fan of playgrounds--I prefer going on a nice nature trail or hike--but I understand the need for playgrounds and especially understand Willow's fascination with them)

It was a great day for just walking around, eating our (expensive) ice cream. The breeze was cool, although the dark clouds were starting to come in and I knew soon we would have to go inside.

Walking in an outdoor mall reminds me of times walking downtown with my Grammie. As we sit in a gazebo and she finishes her cone bowl of ice cream (licking the remaining remenants of ice cream out like a dog, thus getting chocolate dipped ice cream cone chocolate on her face and a rainbow sprinkle--jimmies here in NE--up her nose), I think how the roles are reversed. I used to be the little girl with her grown up watching and waiting with the napkins.

After the ice cream is finally gone (and a quick spit laden napkin cleaning up) we walk around the mall.

While we sit on another bench, she tells me that she is a superhero (Super.Girl in fact) and that she battles bad guys. (I did not know this!) Also Coco is mentioned. And then...she says plainly:

"Momma, do you want to go into this shop?"

And we go clothes shopping. She wheedles a dress out of me (she is wearing it to preschool today); I find a couple bargains for the fall. She plays with the toys the children's clothing store has cleverly set up.

We leave and she immediately wants to try on the dress. A quick change and we walk around a bit more. I hear some music pumped out on a nearby speaker. And she decides we should dance as the rain starts to fall.

We run to the car and I realize that our first mother/daughter mall trip is over.

Imagination

2011-07-28T08:22:00.003-04:00

When I was little I had a very vivid imagination. I thought of such scenarios that my parents often wondered what the heck I was thinking. My ghoulishness surfaced early, like the many plots I had for how Barb.ie was going to be kidnapped and tortured and how Not-K.en (meaning ME) would save her (from the peril I put her in).

When I had Michael, I was so excited to venture into imaginative creative play. However, children with ADHD issues have problems with non-directive play (i.e. when they are supposed to lead the play using their imaginations). Of course, at the time I had no idea (otherwise I would have probably tried something like this). So, instead of these elaborate playscapes, he was into characters fighting each other. Over and over. And over. You hold the character out...he would bash it with another character (or a truck or dinosaur). Don't get me wrong, he eventually enjoyed Legos and other things like that (I did a lot of crafty projects with him). But the idea of imaginative play pretty much went out the window.

With Willow, I can see the imagination take off. And it has been wonderful to see her go off somewhere and have conversations (sometimes very loud) between characters. She often comes up to me and asks me to play "the mommy" character. (Her scenarios seem to mostly be about family groups--there is a mommy and/or daddy and children...the smaller toys being children).

The most surprising thing about her burgeoning imagination though--her imaginary person. She has an imaginary mom. Named Coco. (I think this springs from issues with her changing from a family daycare to preschool...her daycare provider went from being a "mother" figure to her going to school and having teachers). Coco is a menace to my existence. She was cute (and somewhat alarming--I mean, I have images of Coraline in my head). But Willow uses her as a way to express her opinion, a way to try to manipulate the situation. For example, Michael has a new action figure. Willow wants it. She grabs it and says that "her Coco" gave the action figure to her. Or, if she is mad at us (for, oh, the unreasonable demand that we made that she eat her vegetables) she will say "I don't like you. I am going to Coco's house." (I am curious where Coco lives...she has by definition, lived in a rock, the woods, a playground and in Willow's room). So far, I would say that Coco is a WONDERFUL mother who gives Willow juice boxes and chocolates and gum whenever she wants...

Maybe I want a little less imagination in my life....

Take Me out to the Ball Game

2011-07-25T14:58:00.003-04:00

Our friend Ana had tickets to a minor league baseball game last Thursday. She was kind enough to invite us. Only catch--it was the second day of the HEAT WAVE.

The game was in the evening, so we hoped that it would cool down by then.

Until then, we visited with Ana. She made burgers on her grill; and we had some fun in her new above ground pool.

As we got to the game, we realized that even though it was 6 p.m., it was still pretty damned hot. Thoughts of the pool helped to keep us cool. And lots of water. And Italian ice. And ice cream (oh the horrors).

The fun of a local team and the antics that they do between plays (like "chucking" rubber chickens into a net) helped to pass the time. Michael got a little bored, especially since "our" team was not winning...but he helped out by going to get the ice cream.

Before the game started. Got our "dinner" of chicken nuggets and french fries...and first of many waters/juice breaks.

I sprung for the huge "Number One" foam hands...meanwhile Ana tries to tie Willow's hair back with an improvised hair tie; while our friend Shelly texts some pictures of us.

Willow looking cool.

And after the game--Fireworks!

(Oh, and a dip in the pool after 10 p.m. also helped cool us off again!)

OMG -- THREE (or why I have a birthday ticker up)

2011-07-24T23:25:00.003-04:00

Something has happened in this household in the last couple months. Oh, you would think it was my lay off...or Chewy's cellulitus outbreak...or Michael having a doctor recommended lay-off on his ADHD medication during the summer...oh no. FAR WORSE.

Willow has embraced the Dark Side. Oh yeah. She is THREE. And she has blossomed into a whiny, bossy, manipulative, drama making, screaming out loud, laughing, giggling, cute-as-a-button Three Year Old. Oftentimes I am counting to ten, gritting my teeth, mumbling under my breath.

Nothing like a Three Year old to just make you feel like an awful parent. Take a Three year old anywhere and they will make sure to somehow have your parenting skills called into question.

You would think that I would have been prepared...but Michael was such an easy toddler/preschooler. Little did I know what Three could be.

And I love her and this is just a phase (Oh yeah, I mutter that a lot to myself). But...OMG, can she turn Four already?!!?

Hanging out at the Mall

2011-07-18T20:46:00.009-04:00

I asked what Michael wanted to do as we had a couple hours to kill. I found myself at the mall. For no particular reason (I usually avoid the mall except for a few restaurants we like and certain particular stores).

We just walked around and checked out some stores. It was reminiscent of when I was a teenager hanging out at the mall (except not with my parents). It is interesting to see him make these first forays into teenager-hood. I let him lead the way (which meant the sales at Children's Place and Gymboree went unheeded). The places he went to were a blend of teenager and child (we had to visit Lego store and Build A Bear). It almost seemed like it was a farewell tour.

Especially when we ate lunch at Rainforest Cafe. I used to take him there all the time when he was small. It was a place that promoted fear and excitement in him. And it was his FAVORITE place to go for quite some time. While there we talked about the various characters and figures that he had as boy. He got a character souvenir glass. While waiting for our food, he went to the store a few times. But, in the end, he got nothing, did not ask for anything. And we vowed to come back here at the end of the summer with Willow.

Because Willow might be ready again to visit and get that fear/excitement experience that he remembers so well.

Yes, he is wearing a shirt from Diary of a Wimpy Kid: "I am pretty much one of the best people I know"

Growth

2011-07-17T21:05:00.003-04:00

She wants me to rock her to sleep tonight. I have not rocked her in a while, and to feel her length and weight against me is such a surprise...this is not my little baby anymore...this is my three year old. With her feet touching my knees as I try to position her to be able to rock her over my shoulder as I used to. Time slips by with each rock back and forth and I can remember back to when I used to be holding a crying baby singing softly to her. Tonight I do not sing to her, I just hold her and rub her back and listen to her breathe.

And then the boy bounces up the stairs near her room, saying he is going to bed now too. I was sort of hoping he was going to stay up a bit so that we could hang out (re watch another Dead Like Me).

I put her into her bed and then go quickly to see if he needs anything. Some days he just wants to go to bed on his own, most days he still likes to be tucked in. Today I tuck him in and we kiss good night...and then I hear her at the end of the hall asking me to "sit with her". I know that he also likes me to sit in his room with him for a bit, but she is the one that is harder to get to sleep...so I go into her room.

She finally drifts off and as I go into his room, I half hope he is still up (maybe we can talk or maybe I can even get him up so we can hang out--re watch another Dead Like Me). But he is asleep.

And I marvel at the changes happening in both of them and wish that there was a pause button.

The Potty Training Post

2011-07-14T11:46:00.004-04:00

Been pretty silent about her progress on this aspect. Mainly because I have taken the most hands off approach I could think of and because I feel that there are so many techniques out there--and none of them are fool proof.

Bringing individuals into our world is what we are striving for, so why do we assume our children must adhere to certain milestones and techniques in strict timelines? (Yes, there is a bigger thought in this, which basically grounds my whole philosophy to parenting--but I digress.)

So, with the help of preschool, a little over 2 months ago she started wearing underwear during the day. At first, only during preschool, as it seemed that on the weekends as soon as we put her in underwear, there was an accident. She had a few accidents at preschool, but other than that, she has been pretty vigilant. She finally has comprehended when her body is needing to eliminate and she is really pretty good.

Three weeks ago was the last time I put her in diapers at night (no more diapers in our house!). She still has pull ups at night, but most of the time they are dry in the morning. She is in underwear all day now, although my general rule is if she has two accidents, it is then pull up time.

So far, I would say that she averages 1 accident every other day. She has not had a BM accident at all during this whole process (now I have done myself in, haven't I?).

She is three years and 2 months old, she is pretty on target here. I think that by winter time she will be totally out of pull ups.

There have been some wonderful times when I have found her holding it, making sure we get to the bathroom. I was very proud of how she did while we were on vacation.

While the whole potty training experience can be exasperating, time consuming and annoying (I am still getting used to the extra time and energy I need to spend to make sure she has opportunities to go, etc.)...I must say that so far I have learned that my patience has really paid off.

Glimpses of Vacation 2011

2011-07-11T16:39:00.006-04:00

Packing the car up on our own (my own). Needed to get the beach chairs onto the top of the car with the bungee cords. He found a grabbing toy that helped us grab those cords across the top. My son and I working together got it done.

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In the pool she stands in the wading pool section with her Barbie dolls. She stands at the edge and barely goes further as she plays and dips the dolls in the water. Wanting her to get into the pool--I take one of the Barbies and toss her into the pool area. She follows into the pool and we are finally "swimming".

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Burying himself in the sand has become an art form. I barely notice he is doing it, until I find him almost completely buried.

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Going into most restaurants illicits this plea "I want choc-olate

milk." (Sometimes with a "please").

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The Bad Restaurant Day.

Sick from his antibiotics, Chewy cannot even get to the breakfast table at his favorite restaurant. We already ordered, so we eat while he goes back to the house to get cleaned up. I bring his food back for him. He is alright later on (he was supposed to have something on his stomach when taking the medication). Feeling bad that he did not have a good restaurant experience, we try for lunch. Again one of his favorite restaurants by the water. Very nice (but kinda $$) lunch. Our son is trying more and more seafood so it is fun. She has new toys from the aquarium and plays nicely. But we are outside with not too stable seating...and she falls. As I grab her, I fail to see that she has grabbed the table cloth--and most of our lunch (partially eaten) is on the ground (luckily, no one hurt and the waitresses do not kill us but instead give us new food). After an uneventful dinner at the house--we tempt fate again for ice cream. Where she lets us know that she is peeing...right NOW as we sit on the bench eating our ice cream (yes, there was change of clothes in the car--we know we are in the midst of potty training here and are usually prepared!). (Think we should have stayed by the pool that day)

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The many many many bathroom and restroom trips. A new way to see vacation...where are the bathrooms? Worst was in the dark during the drive-in movie...and she had her shoes off and I could not find them...so I had to carry her through the parking lot to the bathrooms. Then there was the time we were driving and she HAD to go (and we even encouraged her to go ahead and pee in her pull-up) but we instead found an exit and a bathroom...she had held it all that time.

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He orders a whole lobster. And proceeds to eat it so expertly that an elderly lady comments on how well our son did eating that lobster.

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mmm...mudslides....

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Hunting for crabs, we find several hermit crabs and I find a larger crab--crawling up my swimsuit (!) Hiding my alarm, we exam it before putting it back into the water.

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Sparklers and glow in the dark bracelets, fireworks on television, red-white-and-blue frosted cupcakes, someone wrote in the sand "Have a Happy Fourth!"

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Buying and cooking our own lobsters and having surf and turf out on our deck for Chewy's birthday. Watching chipmunks scurry under our chairs for scraps.

Home Again - Fuzzy Photos

2011-07-08T23:41:00.003-04:00

Got home around 12:30 in the afternoon today. Seems unreal that this morning we were on the Cape and now we are back at home. Mostly unpacked now, laundry going and water shoes and flip flops outside getting the salty water out of them.

Lots of fun times and another summer vacation on Cape Cod is over...I will probably post some memories later, but for now...fuzzy photos from my cell phone!

Michael yesterday at the Lobster Pot in Provincetown.

Michael and Willow at Woods Hole (there was a fog--really bizarre weather on Wednesday )

We had two (2!) trips to Ben & Jerry's in Eastham!

Dress Willow was able to sucker daddy out of on Martha's Vineyard...

Playing near the Tabernacle at Martha's Vineyard in new dress daddy bought her.

The Walk

2011-07-04T21:47:00.003-04:00

Having to figure out a way for her to be out of their hair for a while, I come up with a plan to do something useful--we will walk to the grocery store nearby and pick up a birthday cake for daddy. Its a secret mission and we are on top of it!

Off we go through the trails to the sidewalk. Along the way she stops and finds more flowers (the collection of flowers given to me has grown with the start of summer). She finds some pine cones, but then finds that she cannot carry them all and carry her toy and her change purse. So she hands me the pine cones. One of which then gives me a splinter (pine-ster?) I wonder at the fact that she did not get hurt by this particular cone--as I toss it behind my back when she is not looking.

I begin to wonder if my little trip to the grocery store 10 mins. away was a bad idea. We are hardly moving as she stops to pick up some discarded what-a-ma-call-it (it wasn't garbage per se, more like something that someone dropped--perhaps part of a game?) We move on to butterflies, bees and ants. And FINALLY I see the grocery stores parking lot.

We get in and she immediately insists that the birthday cake is not enough--we need cupcakes (!!) Of course my reluctance at first starts a sit down strike. And I have had enough rants for the day--so, I say, fine (heck, we needed Fourth of July Cupcakes anyways, right?)

And then I realize that she has underwear on--and she has just said "I have to pee" So...with a birthday cake in hand...we go the store's bathroom. Whereupon I feel like I cannot put the cake down (too icky). She finishes up, we move towards the checkout. (I hope she has forgotten about the cupcakes--but, no...we have to get some...)

I put the cupcakes onto the conveyor belt--and the package opens up and cupcakes with red, white and blue icing go all over it. I hastily clean it up with paper towel provided by the cashier--as she sits down frustrated ready for another tantrum because the cupcakes are ruined (DRAMA!!)

We pick up more cupcakes, we buy the birthday cake. She insists on carrying the cupcakes in the bag. She struggles with this burden, but she insists...and we start the long (really should be short) walk back.

She sings a song: "We are walking; we are walking; we are walking for birthday cake!"

My heart melts...and then we stop for another damned butterfly....

Wearily I warn her to say nothing about the birthday cake--that the cupcakes are special Fourth of July ones and she should burst in saying "Happy Fourth of July!" (Thereby presenting a distraction so that I can hide the birthday cake that my husband surely knows we have bought for him)

She does it perfectly, then proceeds to eat two cupcakes. Blue icing all over her face.

And then she wants to go on another walk. (DAD's TURN!)